She is my sunshine and my rain

“Bunny corn” By little K.

When love struggles

heart breaks.

echos from the past try to

flourish in new patterns

swirly emotional loudness

We do our best to

soften, gentle, ease

reminders that “never” is

really rarely ever,

true.

We did all our healing before

and somehow

there’s still more

Because life is more brilliant

than we know.

As any casualty will show

the angel points to your heart

asks you if you are

attentive to

what is not a circumstance,

is your reaction to one.

Breathe in the sounds of peace

as it’s your job to make it

be free: that mind.

measure your thoughts

against accuracy

and be obedient to your

soul’s acceptance

for love comes in forms

that marry us to the stars

forever hopeful

gazing,

And knowing

That whatever outcome may,

you gave all of your heart.

She said

“you poured all your heart into me.”

And she is right.

That is how beauty made you,

and will continue to.

Anaretic Degree

The Pisces Lunar Eclipse is coming in. You may have noticed. You may not have. Some of us are aloof to the feels and the nebulously non-anchoring energy that is the long-term Piscean swim through the cerulean cosmic consciousness, plunged into the pitch-black depths of an unknown watery terrain. The laws of physics apply differently than on land; gravity is experienced with resistance to the water molecules; we float. Density has its form and function in the water, and we are merging with the element that contains 70-80% of our innards. The word that comes to mind for me in its complete unadulterated fullness is surrender. The oxymoron here is that surrender is when you come up empty, and yet it is pregnant with the only next steps available to take.

There’s a caveat.

Surrender is not something you “will” like an Aries wish made to form (Taurus). Surrender is the experience of weakened knees, utter exhaustion, of hand’s up -white flag-mercy-praying-allowance. “Guide me, oh Spirit of thy savior.” Pisces represents the compete collapse of structure, program, direction, and it uses the narrative of redemption for hope as it moves into the full depth of that Pisces spiritual self-undoing. What Self? Who is there to cling to this rock? I have no hands. My grip is lost. There is no me.

Neptune is the modern ruler of Pisces, and she has been transiting her domicile of Pisces. Her full cycle transit takes 164 years! And, this is where the anaretic degree comes in. It’s a big word for: The end of the sign (29 Degrees Pisces). The end of Neptune’s transit in Pisces. Neptune entered Pisces April 4, 2011. We are harkening back to this time. This was within a month of when I began my blog here. It was intended to be mostly about astrology and spirituality. I did diverge, of course! Can you remember this time in your life? What was your focus?

When we talk about surrendering to love, it feels different, than losing, right? It is the same. We lose what we gain. We gain what we lose. This is the end that is the beginning.

This lunar eclipse features forward the inauguration of the next set of eclipse series of the Pisces and Virgo axis. Neptune won’t be entering into Aries until 2025, but this eclipse is meant to give you a whiff of what is to come. As they say, and I believe it is true: all endings are new beginnings. We might still be in the dark, yet. That’s a special place to be. What people neglect to realize is the “rest” that comes with “release.” Surrender is a way forward, but it must not be utilitzed as that in its full glory, or you will miss the gift inside its package. Surrender is the way out, the way in, and the way through. It is all that is left, but only when we are authentically empty--in order that we may be filled with the new.

I hope you can take a moment in gratitude, for all the pain and suffering in your life and in your lives that is on its way out. I hope you can remember to pray to your God/Goddess inside. For beyond words and illusions, beyond the pointings of spiritual masters, beyond even “good health, wealth, and mirth” is a calling to your soul. It is the only way to get to the redemption. The redemption that only you can supply.

May this full moon be like walking with your hand being held by the creator. May you feel the embrace of love and support, as you grapple with truth and surrender as your only anchors in an anchorless time. May you look to the light of the stars, and feel your feet on the ground. Praise your feet for their walking, your shoes for the supporting. This next age of Neptune in Aries, will help you with your warrior’s sword. The Spiritual Warrior awakens. The truth within be reclaimed.

“After tragedies, one has to invent a new world, knit it or embroider, make it up. It’s not gonna be given to you because you deserve it; it doesn’t work that way. You have to imagine something that doesn’t exist and dig a cave into the future and demand space. It’s a territorial hope affair. At the time, that digging is utopian, but in the future, it will become your reality.”

~Björk

What does love say?

What does love say when

the glass heart shatters

inside its fragile frame,

collapses

energy,

so tired from

holding on

to hollow spaces,

and angular wages

awaiting love’s return?

What does love say when the release

valve on the instapot pops

open because the pressures inside are

making diamonds from

charred wishes

that were soaked in red wine, then burned?

What does love say when ears

are too sensitive to sound, tears

burn the face

heat boils the blood,

white light at night

blinds the sight,

starving sleep?

What does love say, when the last

breath is waiting on the verge of

a biopsy’s precipice, and the

colors are always strange

because weirdness is

a non-stop and confusing limitation,

blocking any straightforward and

sensible path?

What does love say about

the absurdity of a peculiar

dystopia where entertainment

is valued higher than peace and

slowing down, and just the matrix has become

too much to bear?

What does love say about a world with

fleeting love?

Keep going, make more, hold on.

Breathe.