Free from judgement

life is so precious
we only get so much time
here in this form,
to experience exactly as we
are, with no label on how we
react, what we feel, what we
encounter.

how beautiful and precious is our
choice, our freedom, our whims,
our planning, our unique flames,

as we streak in the wind, in the eternal stream,
we offer our incandescent blur of precious steam

to the beam of consciousness ~

and it enters into us, unannounced

but completely recognizable

as peace, love, goodwill

Met a Cat

E62567C9-DED0-4A10-933E-C512CE4CEFB8It’s been a while since I’ve had a childhood pet, since it’s been a while since I’ve been a child. When I was in my early 30s, I had been a sort- of-parent to a dog that my ex mostly raised himself, having had already ideas about how to do that, that he learned from his family and the pets they’d had. This lovely dog, I still think of her, and remember her puppy years, and how she was so close to us, sleeping as a puppy. But, naturally, I encounter my childhood pet more often on the etheric plane. She was my sister-dog. We had that sort of relationship. I wrote my first poem ever, about her. She captured my tears in her golden coat, and played with me easily and joyfully.

My parents had a bunch of cats around when I was born, but I was born allergic, so the cats went elsewhere. There was one cat in particular I remember shouting her name for hours and desperately missing her (I must have been around 4 or younger), but she never came. I wept. I felt guilty for being allergic. It made me sad.

I’ve made friends with a number of outdoor animals over the years, and never claimed them as “mine.” There was this kitten that I named who I really was very fond, of but I didn’t see her around consistently, and so lost her to the elements of who-knows-where. But I would see her a couple of times after I got off the school bus; and for a day or two, she felt like mine.  After my Shamanic Healing today with my Shamanic teacher, I met this cat and felt deeply towards it, only to quickly learn her language, get her to come over so I could make contact, and then for us both to be on our ways again.

I’m thinking of making my blog private, I sort of don’t know what I want to do with it right now, and I’m not sure why I felt like sharing this, either. But it made sense, somehow.

Building relationships while depressed or struggling

In the blog world, there are a number of mental health/ other health blogs. I am always touched when a number of people visit my blog, and then I go to their blog to reciprocate their kindness for liking one of my poems, and I see an individual or group of individuals who are pushing through their emotional challenges, and being a ‘presence’ online so that others have the awareness that they are not alone. Some people visit as teachers or those who would like to offer services, build their business outreach and exposure, but many like to visit to just say “hello” and “touch base” with a “like” or a kind comment.

So many of our relationships often can be built around sharing our inadequacies and our challenges, in ways that uplift one another. Likewise, many build support relationships where we can all celebrate the success of those in our network who we are attentive to, and who we contribute much our time and our interests, as we build relationships, as we surf our interests on the net during our day.

What I see is a sort of bottom line is the challenge that is met with blogging to put one’s internal experiences into words. Sometimes words however are not the best method for delivering information, and yet we all understand through words and build our basis in connecting. Though there are many authors who write to offer their creative talents and inspire others to use creativity as a solution to their busy, ready, and curious minds. Whatever the mission out there, there’s a huge diversity.

Depression can be a real challenge and a drag in the reciprocity department. The desire to give and to receive is human and innate. We all want, I believe, to use our lives to enrich the lives of others. At least that’s what I see, I see people wanting to enrich the lives of others as an innate, human need. In fact, I can’t think of a trait more “human” than the desire to relieve the suffering of others.

Please know that your efforts, your vision, your place in the world is valued and acknowledged. There will always be an audience for your message, even if your message shifts as your mood changes with time. Please know that you always have help, and there are always people willing to be part of your life.

Wishing you all, dear reader, a good day, and a good weekend, week ahead. May all your best dreams come true.

My jaw hurts

how strange it is to notice it
clenching less often
while still anchoring itself
into itself,
as though it will save me
from all of my fearful thoughts.

or from words ~ useful
communication, where muscles
loosen, and the space that is created,
has options to offer others.

(so glad I’m not an expert).

what would i say if i
said everything that I wanted to say
as beautifully as i wish i could,
or if i simply accepted –

this moment,

exactly as it is?

>>>pain is a reminder of life, and living:
it is a reminder that we are all equally
subjected to

all the feels.

the good, the bad, the ugly ~
why settle for only a bland sky?
why settle for that which catches your eye?

why settle at all…

move through it ~
this is life, and it is living through you, but your
body is not the extent of your consciousness – it is only
a small part.

***
I’m very much looking forward to my retreat with Francis Lucille at the end of the month. Consciousness is having fun with pain here, why not?

nothing to seek

There is nothing to seek
lest one seek the wind and
aim to put it in his pocket.

Goals come and go
and are fun, but each post
reveals its way to every
other, an endless string
of passers, passing by,
all marks of time –
in different, creative
pathways.

What about going nowhere
and seeking nothing?

Does it seem,
really,
all that dull
a world?

I think not.

Ka Malana ©2018

lost and found whisper

i found my whisper
in the fuzz of my left pocket

this whole time she was
chilling with polly pocket
in her tiny mansion
in the fuzz of my left pocket

the whisper, she is
delicate and beautiful, as always
with a smile full of pink cotton candy
from the fuzz of my left pocket

i thought i was alone

but the friendly whisper
returned and brought with her a little
star that only i could see.

she told me that she can transmigrate
to any pocket i am wearing, on any given
day, even to that dress i wear with no pocket,
there,
she will be waiting for me
in polly pocket’s
decked out mansion,

if ever, i should need her.

Ka Malana ©2018

Mixed bag of Wishes Freed

what’s in my little satchel?
freeing the ‘ever i was’ and
‘always will be,’ as are you.

updating, electrifying
characteristic of total love
i will read with excitement
and travel through all those
moments

of reciprocity
while i am busy,
and then scale up-down
into that once solid core of molten
awesomeness

that flows and roars
and sparks and lives, feisty-like
and friendly-like a happy
tail-wagging you know who.

Ka Malana ©2018

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When I was much younger than I am now (although I do feel like I am getting younger), I attended an undergraduate bachelor program and dual majored Anthropology & Art History and I got a film studies certificate. If I were to be doing ‘right now’ everything that I ever started (in order to finish it? – hopefully never), I wouldn’t be visiting your blogs, or etc., So – I learned over time that ‘little by little’ was the only way I could release the sharing valve in a way that didn’t tear up my own eyes and cloud my mind, so that I could continue to “allow in,” at the same time, more grace, as I try to release gradually all that energy that I’ve been consolidating within my being – and has been taking up space.

That said, I used to decorate some of my college notebooks.Then there are more sketches and forays…

 

I’ve needed to upgrade my own website for a while, but it keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the list, as I am in school/clinic now in a busy and rigorous graduate program, being an intern (trying to be that best one of me that I can be), and that is demanding pretty much all of my heart and soul (and body). I have understated that, or perhaps not. My blog is a tip of my proverbial iceberg, and I love what I do here. I use it to empty out what has been stored away, and is ready to transform.

Sometimes this arises in the form of poetry, sometimes it arises in the sharing of others’ work, or my photography, or the astrology that build Fiestaestrellas.com. Sometimes I just want to dazzle or delight, as I am receiving the same from so much Source at once! Thank you: Uranus moving into Taurus! Thank you New Moon! Thank you Mercury! Thank you Goddess/God/Spirit etc.

There’s a story about everything here, and some memories I have forgotten ~ for sure. But in every detail there is a whisper, a reminder, an impression, and a hint of a flavor or a smell, or an experience….

**The Gecko from the Temple at Lawaii International Center – where one can tour the 88 shrines, has made it to the page** He/she adds something very new…. and a warm welcome to all passers by… I met him/her and he/she is a gem. So that’s why the photo, I suppose.

**This and all published pages are subject to updates at any time, and may or may not become private at the author’s sole discretion.

How do i serve?

you might find me whimsical
or wanderlust
or fractured and a bust
forcing a rhyme on a dime
or taking the easy peasy street

that is not me.

you might read a description i wrote
with a lengthy, dated timeline,
but i am not in those steps, nor in those
actions of my past.

i am here.

you might wander in the dark
tracing the light’s reflection on the
water.

here, you will find me, choppy and mobile
but as clear as the shine of light.

And, i am partly caught in the crabbers net
some fishing line in my hair,
because i’ve been swimming so long, long
in this selfdom, kingdom sea

still, i am here.

a mashup of experiences
a true, live human
living in the flicker of light
called a dream.

still, i serve.

lost, imperfect, easily disagreeable

still, i serve.

long ago, i wanted to be pretty and respectable, and now,
i’m rushing about the house, trying to figure out
how to show you that i have all the same
parts as you, hidden in the folds of my
awareness.

how i am outside and naked and clueless,
and still worthy of you.

Ka Malana©2018

grow with me 🌙

words change like days
and moons pass as events
as moments uplift and letdown

the witnessing awareness
sees it all as a playground
or museum, or like a trailer park of
ideas “gone somewhere,” then stopped,
and decided to live.

we clear out our systems on cleaning
days or on days assigned for other
maintence activities, or just whenever
cleaning finds time for itself.

the fun of doing anything
is living in the unknown
is speculating
is just facing the unexpected,
and embracing it.

i can definitely find security in this:

everything changes

For Love, and wrapping up my November with a bow 🎀

DSC01088.jpgPhotography by Ka Malana ©2017

Here’s my 5-minute meditation that I’ve provided on my blog, where you can listen and also find it under the meditation drop down box -> mindfulness meditation tracks -> 5 minute guided meditation. I’d like to give this to you, as my gift to you: where you can listen and get in touch with all your senses as I guide you.

                Which senses bring you joy and delight? 

IMG_3198.jpgPhotography by Ka Malana ©2017

All of them, as they are the ones that connect me beyond the earth plane! (best explained by Sue Dreamwalker, here.)

   How do they help you live a meaningful life?

My senses help me relate and integrate. My senses help me to connect with others, with nature, and help me to be a part of something bigger than myself. My earthy senses: sounds, sights, feels, tastes, and smells, help me to ‘ground’ and to meditate.  5-minute meditation.

IMG_0600.jpgPhotography by Ka Malana ©2017
Yin-Yang Soup

********************************************************************************

Today’s post is dedicated to the two challenges I’ve participated in for November, it’s also dedicated to me, for completing the NanoPoblano challenge when I didn’t think I would/could. At all. I still wanted to give it a try. I wanted to use this challenge to get through an ‘already’ challenging time. NanoPoblano, is a month-long posting challenge to post daily with no restrictions originated by Ra Avis. She is an incredibly inspiring blogger and human, and she came up with the idea for NanoPoblano. She’s also been a great friend and support to me in completing my book, She would always appear at precisely the right moments.

Here’s Ra’s words about the NanoPoblano challenge. It’s about Poblanos/Cheerspeppers and the team:

The thing about the Poblanos is that it adds a family dimension to the entire project.  You will be constantly looking at a list of people who are going through the same struggle as you.  Some will be better writers.  Some will be funnier.  Some will have bigger audiences.

It won’t matter, though, because we’ll all be feeling the burn.

After walking through the fire together, it’s hard not to love each other.  We’re a team.  My Poblanos are my first point of contact for any activity I undertake– because I know they are committed to what they want, and to what they do.  No matter what they want, or why they do.

These are people I am proud to blog alongside.

I am proud to blog alongside her and others; most of all my readers!!!!!

This month, on the 23rd, my blogger galpal Linda from Litebeing.com invited me to participate in her month-long Sense-sational Blogging Challenge, and she suggested that I could use one of my NanoPoblano posts for her Sense-sational Challenge. So, at this point I was thinking, maybe I could pull this off, and use Linda’s challenge to be sure I get to the end. Thank you, Linda! Check out her blog for astrological musings, synchronicity, numerology, and more!

Of course, I have to also mention another dear blogging friend & wizard, Dewin, who participated in this challenge on the 29th, since I can’t link to anyone afterward – as I am taking up the caboose – here’s a link to Dewin’s written submission. You can also follow his amazingly well-written, witty, passionate, and truly epic poetry by following the links on his blog. If you haven’t already. 🙂

About my book: Art for Art, in my opinion it’s the best first and potentially only book I could/would have written. Included in it is a wonderfully well-written foreword by my dear friend and writer, Michael, from Embracing Forever. He’s really been a huge support to my writing, as another writer, and a marvelous writer at that! He’s blown me away with his talent, and I am anticipating his continued success!!

Finally, here’s a link to my posts for NanoPoblano, where you will see a lot of photography and writings, poetry, and musings mixed together with the astrology that underlies it all. I’ve put the posts all here in one nice, tidy, accessible place – including my “lead in” posts where I prepared for November’s challenge.

Let’s get spicy and do the thing in November!

The Day Before…

Tiny lighthouse

Tanka Poem

undaunted at dawn

rooted tree of the taurus full moon

november swirls

Little Ka, Amusement Park

Complaints from an angel

Resting Haiku

the sky provided

friendship

yin of evening

brownie i wonder

crosswalk closeup

smiling bodhisattva in the garden

lotus

being one with nature

tap the feet to the beat

beach surrender

desert yawn

Waxing Tropical

A rose’s aroma

Lines & Designs

Thanksgiving in so many forms

Triskelion & flower

The center

across time (and space)

The wave

rose alchemy

i want to guide you

My readers are soooo awesome and I cannot wait to catch up with you, especially these last few days, **WHEW**!  This daily posting for the month was a challenge for me, but I’m glad I did it. I’m not sure if I will do it again.

Thank you all for your loving, supportive comments. You really made a difference!!!

So what’s next?
I’m not sure, but I definitely have a lot of “off the blog” work to focus on and so I’m going to completely enjoy my December (and that means working on what I have to do and read your blogs when I can) and prepare for 2018. This November’s end is sort of a wrap up for me for the whole year, 2017. I’m proud of myself for doing this posting challenge for me. I like the delicious choices that I get to make in my many moments! My dedication to my regular meditation practice has also benefitted from this month’s crazy activity!

What will you do in December? Did you have a good time in November? What was 2017 like?

 

sensational-challenge-2017
Designed by Sue Dreamwalker