A shooting free world

there’s a request I heard
the angels put in.
they said with tears in their eyes!

do not injure my people!

if you are feeling lost and afraid,
take my sword, and march into battle
fearlessly with your essence of peace.

this sword is a gift to use with the clarity of your heart,
and the eons of wisdom acquired by your
soul.

be not afraid ~

for all this destruction cannot last
without creating better, more solid, and
more loving worlds. See the light is returning, it is.

I will keep showing you.

for every destruction, crushing heartbreak,

grows the strength of new life.

Youth has become abstract

once when youth was in my blood
it pumped without observation
or goals

there was no rationing and saving
vigor for the reality of what
a “whole day” meant

talents showed up, and were always
unexpected, because years of hard work, attempts, were never behind them.

freedom meant overcoming the restrictions of parents, time-schedules, the expectations of others

not some quest for the dream of
what misinformed enlightenment offers: freedom from pain, suffering,
facing the self-imposed habitual mindset, only to

once again – liberate!

real enlightment, some promise we believe in, and strive towards, as we
grow softer and more supple.

but, there is a new kind of youth,
one less abstract, and gaseous,
nebulously unbounded.

there is youth in a form,
that has grown into a work of art –
still admittedly malleable while alive, while alive, always vibrant.

softer, more tender, more unbreakable

this new youth is form, built of the combination of vision and visionlessness.

it says, “I am aware that I exist,”
this awareness has the force of
water, the power to move mountains, the ability to perceive, to be a mountain, if it wills.

youth is not wasted on the young,
because it is truly what we grow into, if we allow it to happen.

ka malana c2019

My unborn love

she grows and glows inside me
like a beacon of possibility

her magic is rare
and stronger than any force
ive ever known

tiny bones and muscles
gain strength and potential
energy,

she exercises,

in all the ways she exercises,

and I’m beyond,
most days
able

to match my feelings with words
or write what wonder
is happening

anywhere, the space of my womb
it is happening, communicating
as a mini sub-station,
surreal connection
between worlds
engaging,
interfacing,
touching beyond the veil

she is becoming more
real
every day
essentially me,
and differentiating

and I Dream most now of her voice
as I hear it begin to emerge
as I’m given glimpses ahead

my heart guides us
to our communion day

Poetry rights 2019 Ka Malana

For those who have left…

When you came here to be with my friends,
they loved you so much. I feel my friends’ tears hit my sleeves
on my shoulder, and touch my neck.

as I know 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 … of you have recently lost a VIP

For those who have left, we know that you have found
peace and happiness, in your abode elsewhere, and even while we
can connect with you again when all is ready,
it takes us time to adjust to dimensional
shifts of your body being a different kind of body now.

My friends have loved you in ways you will never know,
or have not yet known while you were in a body,
and your impact has made a mark on them in ways they will
always think of. To say that you are remembered, is an understatement,
and yet it’s true. They walk beside you as you walk beside them.

I’m sorry that you left so early, as for each one of you, we all could have
had more time with you.

May you rest in peace.

Leaving the hobbit hole only so briefly

when it’s springtime and the hobbit hole is so perfectly comfy,

but its super bright outside –

it might not be the time to write a poem, or gaze slowly and languishingly into your glowing glass of tea.

to celebrate your everything comfy,

or recollect whether not you are hitting your mark, and being in your daily diligent meditations,

being a good hobbit,

so you get out your broom and brush,
and put on some of that music that’s already playing in your head,

and you get to whistling,

and each step brings you closer to thick forest, as you sweep.

and maybe the critters are stirring more underneath your feet,

and maybe the clouds are articulating
and so

poetry,

can not be

avoided.

Free from judgement

life is so precious
we only get so much time
here in this form,
to experience exactly as we
are, with no label on how we
react, what we feel, what we
encounter.

how beautiful and precious is our
choice, our freedom, our whims,
our planning, our unique flames,

as we streak in the wind, in the eternal stream,
we offer our incandescent blur of precious steam

to the beam of consciousness ~

and it enters into us, unannounced

but completely recognizable

as peace, love, goodwill

Free-falling into a new life

this was going to be a “it’s the blog’s end” post,
finished the blog. Its mission’s run out.
the long pause at the end of a winding
road, or maybe that will come tomorrow.

service has been disrupted in so many
ways, and the vision vacillates while
the complexities loom.

i was planning on finishing everything
i started, once I realized that in principle
was a principle, just a principle;
and these are my rules now, whimsy be what
it may, the life-force answers to itself.

accepting a better version of events
can be whatever they end up being, and an end
can redirect meaningful energies,
free up resources,
provide inspiration.

what about a re-route?

the whole path has been a splinter!

an impulse quickly turned into a million,
refracted directions,
when with camera: mirror-less direct
images captured on film, in no order
but the perpetual march of the order
that is already given by the continuity
of the space that the events take place in.

this guide is so agenda-less. she’s had no
reason to spread a vision, word, in so
many directions. She is, in essence, “inert,”
lovably all her electrons are full in her
outer shell.

she seeks no bonds.

still she returns, one by one, and moment
by moment, as each strange inspiration
lingers in the new ways that it does, when it’s still
a stranger, and we are sometimes excitedly
courting each other. The self that meets a new moment,

“what will you be, how will you become?”

Light.

A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part 3

But first…

Below is what I wrote for Part 2: Starting ‘right here’ with an intro.

This is a selection I wrote for MeMyMagnificientSelf, where we are asked by our friend Barbara to share our awakening experiences with others. This is Part II of a two part sequence. My participation is here, below, in Part II. I had recently met the other participants while Part I was taking place, and/or had already been completed.

Beginning:

Awakening used to sound like an ending to me, so complete, and total and full.

But, I think of it as this endless continuity. It is almost a complete engagement, and yet it is so dynamic that it is always “in the process” of being engaged.

There’s this idea that “one” has access to everything, all that has ever existed. But that is not just an idea; it is a sense – a smell, a quality to the nature of connectedness.

There’s still the personality, and of course because there is absolutely nothing wrong with the personality.

There’s just a sense of being beyond the capacity that one originally set out with in the life, and perhaps a sense of connectedness to all the other lives that came before, including the soul’s journey.

There’s this sense of not knowing what’s ahead, but being nearly absolutely certain, most of the time, that this gift of life keeps giving to us, to me, to everyone. There’s this sense of constantly being in reception with source. There’s a deep relationship with the cosmos and with the pain and suffering of the world, but not in a way that is gripping or feels identifying. There’s a sense of ‘coming and going’ and it just sort of improves over time. The witness who is watching is not really the subject, and there really is no object, but it is the peacefulness of center-point, and the culmination of pointlessness.

The emotions get deeper; the connections with others become richer. People in your family that you may have thought you didn’t “get along with” show you their spiritual love for you. Disagreements on the personality level do not affect the deep nature of the connection. The connections deepen. Family members start to feel understood and “seen” by you – as simultaneously the experience is mutual, and love enters where it the illusion was it was not. The veils on relationships keep lifting.

Awakening is a process – for this being it started in 2007, but the blueprints for it where there all along. The circumstances leading up to it, and in the beginning required a lot of releasing, a lot of acceptance into the path of the unknown. Meanwhile, all the support shows up. It can be rocky at times, even extremely difficult and painful, but ultimately awakening is the most brilliant gift to consciousness. It’s the kind of thing that spreads for those who are ripe and ripening. The clarity is what reigns, rises, and spreads, breaking up all the dross of thought, conditioning, and aberrant energy patterns. Awakening is final, but it isn’t done. It is like a seal that has opened and the energy from the container is decompressing over time.

Note: When I saw Barbara’s challenge show up in my inbox, I immediately penned the words above; it literally took me only about 2-3 minutes, if that. My own clarity on the prompt – as I experienced it unto myself – was surprising!

******************************* PART III *************************************

Begins Here:

Reflecting on Part II was beautiful. I am glad that I could receive again my relationship to the words on Part II through this exercise, agreeing with all that was written above about the continuous experience, and not feeling like I need to update or change anything.

Beyond ideas, beyond thoughts and notions of awakening is the day-to-day experience of it. There are the delightful surprises that show up along the way.

Below is a poem I have written for Venus Retrograde, which takes place today, October 5.

 

“Bringing in the Calm”

 

How can I feed this moment with what it needs?
,
numerous deep breaths answer…
,
the steady gift of,

deliberate
airway transformation

.

Healing sounds tone
,
a singing voice illuminates:

you are safe, you are peaceful,
you are calm.

your true nature shines free with the complete
view that all is now magic, laced in the fabric
of gentle thoughts, easy movements

fabric woven into a soft, multi-dimensioned
tapestry where you can surround yourself in
the cushioned condition of reflection

,

timelessly recreating a reality within the vision
of peace.

Writing, poetry, and photography ©Ka Malana 2018, shared on Fiestastrellas.com

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DSCN0297

 

ascend, amend, comprehend

Soft,
Soften,
Softening

these words
whispered reach underneath
the skin, gently awakening
into new silky textures
channeling moisture and health,
supporting vitality

through all the channels and tinier channels and even smaller microscopic patterns, structure below structure

her flexibility opens to shine
into an archway, a passage made as airy as a canopy of silk,

gentle drum sounds move through the hairs of her ears,

soften, gentle,
easy, purposeful, guide her up the spiral stairway,

all white,
all open,
moving upward, lifted, free
her feet, ankles thank her,

all the way up to her crown,
her hair releases,

“you are as ancient as the oldest grain of sand, as mysterious as the creatures in the oceanic vents, and as free as all the universes keep expanding… and there is no end to you.”

Ka Malana 2018

Freedom

noting that during times of duress,
the most “me” me steps forward, not
the “person” me, the instinctual me.
The me that’s balanced and clear.

The one who cannot be mistaken.

i’ve kept her away, because
when i am most “me” the people disappear…
it gets silent and lonely.

Or is that inner peace, disguised as an island?

Today i have a new vision for that
space that’s created, when I speak my truth –

Today i don’t worry about being heard,
or being overheard, and misunderstood.

Today i listen so closely to that voice
in my heart, and I move with its movements,
and I sway with its sways,
and I dance with its steps…

if anything is not on its agenda,
you won’t hear from me.
the drummer inside, holds the keys to my passage

it is that drummer inside who is my guide.

Ka Malana ©2018

My jaw hurts

how strange it is to notice it
clenching less often
while still anchoring itself
into itself,
as though it will save me
from all of my fearful thoughts.

or from words ~ useful
communication, where muscles
loosen, and the space that is created,
has options to offer others.

(so glad I’m not an expert).

what would i say if i
said everything that I wanted to say
as beautifully as i wish i could,
or if i simply accepted –

this moment,

exactly as it is?

>>>pain is a reminder of life, and living:
it is a reminder that we are all equally
subjected to

all the feels.

the good, the bad, the ugly ~
why settle for only a bland sky?
why settle for that which catches your eye?

why settle at all…

move through it ~
this is life, and it is living through you, but your
body is not the extent of your consciousness – it is only
a small part.

***
I’m very much looking forward to my retreat with Francis Lucille at the end of the month. Consciousness is having fun with pain here, why not?

a soft focus

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~ The power that i seek is within myself and it seeks me now ~

How often do we transform ourselves in the fire of the forces surrounding us,
the forces that are shaping us everyday as we ask within and listen for an answer from that still small voice, “What is it that I really, really want?”

Besides loving and being loved, having sustenance: food, water, shelter, I think that each of us has a powerful and unique message that speaks directly to our hearts, and its okay to be different. It’s okay to be different and be among the same. Some voices may just say a simple and certain request, “peace.” For others need community, and differences of opinion, the excitement of discussion. Not everyone has exactly the same needs for human or animal or nature’s contact. I think that ought to be respected. I think this is what it means when we talk about compassion, it is about having the humanity to see the equality in all, while also allowing for the variance of what that equality looks like, without divisive judgements, and impositions. We live in an era where roles and designations are fading quickly, essential categories are in question for the past is rapidly disappearing without a trace in a world of technology and continuous innovation. We don’t just build from the past anymore, we forge the future within ourselves.

The beauty and capacity in people is astonishing to me as it is in this flower – a soft focus – a momentary glimpse of phase of life, and all are brilliant moments. Why seek to be in another stage of life from the one you are in? Relish where you are, exactly while you determine what that means, to be where you are now.

Sometimes it means, “Who needs a ‘what’s next’?” I’ll see it when I it arrives…that which I seek, seeks me now.

nothing to seek

There is nothing to seek
lest one seek the wind and
aim to put it in his pocket.

Goals come and go
and are fun, but each post
reveals its way to every
other, an endless string
of passers, passing by,
all marks of time –
in different, creative
pathways.

What about going nowhere
and seeking nothing?

Does it seem,
really,
all that dull
a world?

I think not.

Ka Malana ©2018