Magical pathways and definite signs

Brilliant sun dresses the grass in glistening crystal light, like glass

as each day fades more quickly than the last

with only time scattering, not shattering.

I am alone in the temple of my studying

who has hope in this life that’s quickening?

The messages on the wind are obvious and settling.

Feathers touch my eyes even when I haven’t been eyes wide-open, a blessing.

head to the ground, I see the sky, anyways.

goddess protects me, restores me, intrigues me.

she is my mystery, cloaked in light. Too bright to see the shapes.

she is the laughter that breaks over silly faces

and highlights dreamy face contours full of delight.

I’m walking on the ground that you put down for me, wearing my t-shirt of faith, that one that was an accidental gift posted to me.

Owl, Hawk, you remind me that my roots are going down, right where I am. I am meant to be here.

Butterflies and sun blazing and all…

The heat makes the air rise, and I wonder how much the butterfly has to move to keep from getting scorched by summer sun.

She is beautiful, but she works hard, while others see whimsy.

She wants to know more about the mystery of the wind, but she’s Content to ride, knowing how to glide, and when to flit.

And when to rest.

Build down deeper

and, reach up higher

my days are speckled with contrast

with energy running low

traveling like water

seeking to ground and center

magnetized to the core of earth

down down down I go

into the caverns of the ancient ones

while above the surface I rise

stretching up ⬆️ reaching, reaching

flying with the owl in the night

wings shielding from the elements

my spirit soars and I long to be joined

with all that is in my soul and beyond

healings given by me make me feel

my purpose is alive and well

and all these dim switches in my awareness

are meant to be situated perfectly

just for me to flick on with strong yesses

I give way to this meaning,

I accept this purpose, with gratitude 🙏🏽

Mahalo, I am love, and I love you. We are one.

offering myself

exploring inertia

while watching myself take pause

maybe just another hour longer

to reduce this feeling

maybe the motivation i’ve pushed for years long now

will eventually grow its own legs, but it still needs pressing…

forward

getting praise for being happy is silly

when the joy fades,

I’m sitting in silence, taking the world in, and it’s sharp

Do you know what people are going through?

where is the talent to express these hard things?

where is the wisdom in my soul to trust THIS expression?

I am not made of roses.

but I do have thorns, little prickly places I don’t want to be touched.

I want to go into THIS challenge

I want to meet THIS darkness.

It is okay.

Guiding back the love into myself,

I trust this space, this time, this darkness.

I can be “outside” in it.

You don’t need to reassure me to hide away to do self care.

This IS self care.

My art is not about explaining myself.

I paint myself in black, and walk into the darkness,

because I want to blend in.

Shining is not for me.

I want to be different, black

but we are all in this together… so I am not alone

and you are different, too. We all are.

**I don’t want to be in the practice of explaining my poems. But, each piece I share is very real for me. Walking into the territory of discomfort is sometimes unexpected, but it happens. We live through our sadness, and pain. Joys can speckle the days with highlights. It’s just something we get used to, trying to live a life of meaning. This is how to put one foot in front of the other. The work we create need not be brilliant or good, and it doesn’t matter how much attention it gets. We all think we ought to find our sparkle and “stay there.” But that is not growth. Growth is in the trenches. It’s in recognizing our inertia. Today I have had a heck of a time with procrastination. And, I’m still there. And, that is okay.