Why I gave up writing about Astrology, for now.

When I started this blog (2011), astrology was the thing that was so consistent in my life; for better or for worse. There’s so much that I could have said about my relationship to the subject, and my passion for it, and my observations from about the age of 10 (mostly through software) and so on. It was the whole reason why I started a blog. I never even considered myself “a writer.” But in truth, my “beliefs” about astrology have always wavered.

There were times when the paradigms of interpretation didn’t work for me, so I resolved to learn it on my own terms: entirely experientially. From the very beginning, astrology for me was about “finding my own way” and not looking to someone else to interpret my life for me. It was about Freedom from people and their opinions. It was about connecting with my own sense of interpretation with the divine, not a religious thing in any way (except very liberally). It was connected to literature, but it wasn’t academic-y, in the sense that I needed to find someone else who decided, once upon a time, what would be “rulership,” etc., and my own observations could stand on their own – as just my own observations and opinions. Part of the magic of astrology and my current study and my practice in acupuncture is that no one knows where it came from – exactly. Yet, here it is, affecting people in their lives! Giving answers, when I believe there really are no definite answers…just a lot of speculation. But it still really gets things moving!!!

There were times when I thought: even if astrology has no objective meaning – people still make it so – astrology simply won’t go away! Now, everyone is indeed blogging, YouTubing, and communicating about it! I’ve had the luxury of watching astrology be “closeted” and my own self be in that astrology closet (my blog was about me coming out) – to shifting to becoming radically popular, and giving it far more power than it should have! I mean that – astrology is just astrology. It’s a mystery, mostly.

In the deeper areas of astrological community there is a lot of discussion and people making their cases, there’s camaraderie and there is difference of opinion. It’s not a fixed thing by any measure. Everyone’s lecture or class has a different spin.

Nevertheless, when Uranus entered Aries, that’s when I started my blog. I took an opinion, and I tried it on: astrology “produces” a good outcome, when used properly. I was ready, I thought, to come forward to some unknown public. I had reached a certain flavor in my own development. I had met with Saturn, and Saturn became my friend in my own life. I will continue to argue that Saturn is my friend. Astrologers are all different – Thank Goddess/God, thank the atheists, thank thankfulness itself!

But let’s face it, astrology requires time, analysis, and a certain caliber of thought, “presence,” as does all writing, and definitely computer programming (which was a random comment just to add for those who like code, and like to make something with it! It’s because of computer programming that I even found astrology at such a young age -and my S. Node/Ascendant in Aquarius).

I started to feel like with my growing schedule in different and yet still remotely connected fields of interest (and career) that I could tie it all together as I went. But, I couldn’t, I’ll tell you why, below. I was/am changing, is the short answer. Also, I added more activities into my life which are equally important to me.

What I learned, for my blog, was that I wanted to write poetry, instead. I found that “getting my head out of the equation” was far more self-compassionate on a daily basis. Which is also why the blog was initially also focused on meditation. Meditation is sort of the antidote for astrology. It still is.

None of what I said here changes my respect for the trade and practice of astrology, however. I just don’t think questions like “What’s going on in my chart making me feel this way?” “Will I find a lover?” “What should I do with my life?” were interesting enough questions for me, personally, to keep practicing with clients.  The questions were too general, and I needed to learn more astrology. I had already answered the questions to the best of my ability, in my own life, for me. Of course, I do still work through transits, and confusion, and a whole host of my own visiting demons. Also, through my practice with meditation, I became less interested in ‘personality’ questions, and my interest in psychology even fell away (except the transpersonal brand). I didn’t want to tell someone who their chart, based on astrology, said they ought to be. I wanted to show them how to transcend who they think they are. Hah, but I’ve been busy working on myself – purely, from that angle.

How’s it working out?  I enjoy life, all the good and the bad, the ups and the downs of self-development. It is also very tiring.

A couple of weeks ago I met with a dear friend that I don’t get to see very often. She’s the president of our local astrology club and in my opinion, “a big name” in astrology (will be at the speaking at the Chicago conference for the second time), though I didn’t know her before I met her and she welcomed me to the club. She doesn’t consider herself to be a big shot, even though she is a Leo. Go figure. I’m a Leo. We also have the same nodes, but I am of the following nodal generation – nevertheless, we share the same nodal return. We have a natural connection, our Venuses are in conjunction.  We have both been bloggers and astrologers before we met. I met her before she was the president of course, and have been too busy to participate very actively in my group with my endeavors that began roughly around the same time.

My point, is, that even while in flux:

I do want to be able to express myself without fear on my own blog– I have no interest in wielding any authority or having any power over others. None. Just myself. Every day, in the way I face my day. This alone, for me, requires a lot of courage. I am a work in progress, and this is my marriage to life, to my career, and to my place in community. I may always be a shifting face –  a part-time hermit, to somebody, or to some group—but I think that whatever I appear like – is other people’s problem (or the group’s problem), and no longer my own. I like to switch it up. I am a work in progress, just like the precession of the equinoxes, and globalization. Even in the acupuncture field, there’s a huge push to modernize (or match with the dominant culture), become more like “biomedicine.” Every word is actually a misnomer, by the way. This shift began in just a couple of years to really show itself, but the feature has been in the works for much longer. In astrology, I see the shift towards Vedic and sidereal zodiac happening – at least in my world, but I’ve been around long enough to see the pendulum swing in both directions. Regardless, I guess it all depends on where we are in life, and who is in our life influencing us – and what principles they want to use to back up their advice/guidance. What do the statistics say? Astrology has had an odd relationship with statistics and influence. Look at the Gauguelin Controversy.

No doubt, despite all this headiness and the time-consuming process of sorting data and analyzing and thinking to present cases to others, we still manage to influence others, just by breathing, and for no good reason! Thoughts about facts are not required for breathing.

I think the scariest thing in life is that we do affect things and people, plants and animals – every day.

But, here’s the thing. It’s all about the people and the love. I am falling more and more in love with everyone, and that stretches me and that also shows me when I dance back into myself, that I am really a part of things! Like the hugs at school and with friends, and in my astrology club, and while I work in the clinic, or when I am acting as a Reiki teacher, or journeying as a Shamanic practitioner, and everywhere else I show up in a role these days, or with a different group. It’s being a part of things, and the role doesn’t matter, nor does the group. Most of the time I am in the audience (comfort zone), fearing the stage. What? I have readers? You got to be kidding me…  ::bites nails:: I am never prepared for this, but without readers, I am not getting to “be me,” to actually grow and develop. I can’t thank you all enough – I really can’t. Thank you for being influenced, for reading, for commenting, for listening, reading, for thinking *with me.*

Final quick mention of astro: In Vedic astrology, I’m living in my Mercury Dasha since February. In Western Tropical astrology, Uranus entered my 3rd house. Astrologers who read my blog will understand this: the roads are getting worked on here, for sure –metaphorically and literally.

Astrology works, but it’s not about the opinions, and it’s not about the roles; It’s not even about the interpretations!!! its about the people and about something amazing and miraculous – in this relationship with the stars, as we see them. It’s about how consciousness is so amazing and unpredictable! Meanwhile, we see evidence that there’s deep organization and possibly even intelligence at work (without our really “getting it”)! It’s nothing shy of miraculous. A classmate of mine just ran a marathon while pregnant. I asked her if she would suggest to anyone else to do this – she said, “heck no! – it was stupid.” So I asked, why did you do it? She said, “Well, I already signed up for it!”

 

Whale’s Baleen

Swimming in the sea of me
a magnificent light occurs-
i see it in the hoops and boops
and in the shimmering of days
swimming,

having fun.

my gills opening and closing
as i glide along.

though i swim in circles
i am creating an eddy –
a deep spiral,
that radiates with life.

there are sparkling lifeforms and
the darkness lurks
in my magical kingdom,

where i rule,
with Poseidon.

somedays i pretend to be
plankton and ride on the surface of
the water, moving not at all.

other times I channel into the
krill, and sift through the baleen of
the whale.

Ka Malana © 2017
**wishing everyone a wonderful New Moon in Cancer, and a Happy Summer Solstice**

Sponge

Inside myself I want to open
all the tiny windows
and let out all atoms of information,
spiraling in both directions.

Inside myself, when I want
to pinch shut, or burst forth,
I want to instead respirate with a million
ventilations.

If I could be a mushroom with
gills, and with fungi prints,
or a tree frog that sits beside
you. If I could just keep you company;
I would not bite.

Inside myself, I have little air packets
and hollowed out canals. I am airborne,
sometimes.

There’s are things I wish I could be,
and then, there are things I really am, if you
let me.
Millions of tiny hugs, little blood vessels,
saying ‘aaaahhhh’

Tomorrow might be stressful, but right now is not.
Let me love you like a peristalsis hug.

I am your body. I am mostly made of
space.

Smile :) Inspiration

Smile,

The moon high up upon heaven
Lights devotee’s path
A globe of knowing reflection
Faceless opening, light upon light
Sets the gentle night

Full moon,
Your edges are already rounded
Your brightness leaks
into the black-blue sky
lighting the path for crickets
People gaze up at you and point, Look!
while taking out their trash

*Please see the above link. It’s a beautiful song written and sung by a woman who, in the process of her musical training, went deaf due to a connective tissue disorder.

full_moon_view_from_munich_germany *this photo is not one of my own its from wikicommons, a free media stock photo.

We are not free from others’ misperceptions

We are not free from others’ projections of us –
nor the collective power of social organization, which shapes
our policies, and what’s available – what’s on the table to be chosen.

In fact, we are exactly defined by how others see
us, regardless if what they see is an extension of
themselves, even within a collective. We live falsely from the onset,
by no device of our own; In effect, we are born to be misunderstood.

The beauty in this situation is
that whether or not anyone realizes ‘what’ really
belongs to ‘whom,’ we all are involved in the healing process, of
these projections and the role-assignments that are forged either because of them or despite them. We build a community, we form alliances; we courageously listen to others.

How does justice fit into this?

In the trial system, the people in the courtroom,
their thoughts and the lawyer’s arguments, work on the community
as a whole. The jury deliberates. People soul search. We hope that each voice gets heard, and that justice is served through the collective.
Our very idea of justice is based on the system of the collective. But what is at the core of that?

Community/Collective is healing, there is no separation from community. That is, it needs to heal, if it is to function properly. That is if by properly, we mean all things: prosperously, productively, healthfully. When we meaningfully ask for truth and reconciliation, we mean all things.

The inner world may not reflect the outer world, but the outer world certainly develops because of the individuals. It takes the individual to rise up and be heard in order to and for the collective/community to transform. This means we each must stand up for ourselves, by seeking inwardly that truth and reconciliation. Meanwhile, the outer world is reflecting where we need to serve this peace-making. This practice is a risk that we take, for the betterment of our neighbors. We make ourselves vulnerable when we offer our unique and untested ideas, but we do it in service to the greater good.

We are all unique. Our perspective need not follow along lines of
all those who have gone before us (or surround us), while each individual is touched by all he/she/it (general neutral) experiences. We need not look to the members of the group who wield the most social power, for we have our own individual sovereignties.

The world is real and yet it is at the same time only viewable through the lens of self. Each one’s relationship to the self. If one’s relationship with oneself is golden, then one can do great things in the world – because the impressions that the world places upon it, don’t scratch its surface, but just clear the veil to seeing that there is light. There is love. There is peace. We can clear this. We can do it, each of us.

Geminizing something New

perhaps only a butterfly
lifting lightly
moving slightly,
touches
the edges of the
sea…

meeting your pulse (((((((

Once divided, no longer
unguided
all thoughts provided
from duality…

))))))) hearing your song

rhymes, rhythmically, rapidly
randomly, ripplingly
figuratively, linkingly
mouth moving,
easily…

] hearing your name [

word siblings are scattered
in new families
created, as seeds
flying
merrily…

/// seeing your wings \\\

united under one
as one, in one
family
is worshipping
the house of
common ground.

visiting your temple of (a0)uM
1_/3\_1

limitless opportunity
abound,
at home devotion and
development
are profoundly proliferating…

as rabbit has a habit for touching infinity, too.

IMG_0054IMG_0045

Flowers for Mourning, Living, Loving

We lost the musician Chris Cornell this past week. Also I was assaulted near my home; I was spat on and yelled at for no reason, just walking by. You can tell me that this was not a big deal, but I won’t listen to you. The week ahead is supposed to be the tough week, though, full of tests. Ultimately, every time I blog is a test. I’m not sure why I do it. Why am I trying to sell my book? Who needs to see this, this is me, living quietly? Trying to live quietly. My book: Can she stand on her own value? What about my other creations, will they have homes in the future? Will there be creations? I still have my old paintings, most of them. They mean more to me than they would to anyone else. They collect dust; I love them. There are questions that aren’t mine to answer. Why did Chris decide to go? He was a teenage Soundgarden crush – but while in my twenties there was a revisiting with this particular song: Be yourself. A friend reminded me that Chris was still out there, making music. He had all of the tracks and gave them to me.

Have you ever lost touch with a musician that you enjoyed? Focused on your own work for a while, and then was happy to look up and see him or her, still out there, Still going?

Because that’s what we expect.

I’m glad I still have my guitar to play on every now and then. My friend. We make friends with the continuous. I just wish Chris still had his continuous…

Well, maybe in the other life. May his family heal really nicely.

I took these pictures to share with you. Now, I commemorate them for Chris Cornell. No longer a big fan of grunge – I don’t forget where I came from, and certainly not, where I am going….

2C406078-BEC9-4D0E-B134-8A0046680A059FFE1A8D-FF1B-421A-9AF8-C0756F76363666A6B93B-4E8C-463E-BDDD-B39C7290EA34870DAD66-8A18-46C1-8402-0B6DA68B30623740B989-E8DB-4109-B661-B780AED76A4636949E2C-DB57-4C09-8DC8-301F4C6DDF6075930D05-7D5D-4851-A8E5-8A2A99669CABA248FFFB-E717-44A0-8150-BEE62D88CAB6B1D6D1AB-3AB0-48AC-86C8-58B0F326E304F4A453B6-92C1-4DFB-B84C-AB09F0DC4700FullSizeRender

Art, poetry and dudes, with Ka Malana

The dudes interviewed me!!!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

shehanne moore

 
Ka Malna  – No, but that sounds like a good idea. I’ll chew on that.
 
Ka Malana– I never thought of it. I’m sorry, dudes.
 
 http://poeticparfait.com/2017/05/12/the-hellfire-club-women-georgian-england-guest-post/?sn=c&c=36176#comment-36176
 
Ka Malana  -Art for Art provides glimpses of my personal mind/body/spirit journey in the format of poetry. The contents spans over a couple of years of time. Most of the poems started out on the blog but they wanted to be in a book,
so a book was made to give them a home. Almost all of them were edited, and some of them now look like new poems – some divided, some grew.
Ka Malana –There’s also quite a bit of new content, and of course the arrangement was naturally put together in mostly the order of its occurrence (poem’s birth). That said, friends came in to help this new budding author (me), and that really made it…

View original post 1,002 more words

For those who experience loss, may something be gained.

Maui inspired print

I wasn’t planning on sharing this painting, or at least yet. I made it as a fun print, with kid’s washable paint. It’s on wood. I like the blank spots, for now.  Not worrying about being a “serious” painter – I like that every time I sit down to make some art, or I make art on the fly – it’s for a different reason, season, need, purpose. Sometimes I study an object, sometimes I just want to have fun. That’s what this was. Also, I’m not pigeon-holing it into “something” or needing to be defined. I’m letting it live on its own.

That said, I am sad to hear today about a colleague’s artwork being stolen. I’m angry. I’d like to keep the details private but I wanted to offer up my “make it easier” coloring in honor of this loss and ask that the artwork be returned to the owner it was gifted to and so that the work can continue to heal and make its offerings on the wall where it was originally set.

Scorpio as a sign in general tends to guard that 8th house of losses and gains. We are in the midst of the full moon with the nodes changing into Leo/N.Node and Aquarius/S.Node. I am a big believer that we don’t lose anything, only the physical form. I can only imagine how much of a blow it was to the creator of the artwork – with the art’s intention to heal and provide.  This is the human condition, no one is free from loss. May this person, and all involved, experience a full restoration.

Taurus moon burst, touching, new

i returned home to my roses bursting –
opened by more than mere grace
an abundance of nature, holding space

nature held place for you,
and for me
at home, together

while we healed and learned
and read books, Reikied over everything
while the highest light guided
and nature divided
the space opened and closed
into the shapes of waterfalls

different edges and

how when painting everything is seen first
as a geometric shape
and then
fleshed out,
drawn, stretched, applied,
revealed as nuance,

light shining
light shimmering

and the green gushing
clay cliffs
on the road to Hana
twisted
forming snapshots – would keep an
editor busy for hours,

but i don’t have any reason
to edit

not today
not when more work is around the bend
and poems to be written
and people to see.

blogs to visit
and new names to learn, books to read
at a pace that, that only mercury retrograde
would allow.

Taurus was New, sculpting my memories
of sound, art
in darkness,
and each thing I ever made

came back to life.

the way the sun rises
the poetry is good
because life is written in it.

and the music playing is always the right song.

Buddha’s White Rose, Libra’s Full Moon

IMG_3576
© 2017 Ka Malana, Photography

Tiny granite gravel garners
your contours
arranged and shaped by larger hands
from the hours and minutes
passed

Our conversations linger above
like a cloud
accumulating memories as
rain drops and I chase the
sensations

In new places, on islands,
in another part of the world
I sit under the same tree.

At this point it is beyond
40 days and 40 nights,
how many lifetimes,

Like a leopard stalking
hungrily, I’ve faced you,
and sought your incarnation
in every one.

Yet each moment with you
is like a million moments
that are first moments;
and I am covered in morning light,

a soft gaze, your tenderness.

I shall return for more.

IMG_3575
© 2017 Ka Malana, Photography

Leaf me here

leaf.jpg
© 2017 Ka Malana, Photography

“In Borneo, there are palm trees that walk on their high roots. Slowly, with effort, they lift one leg then another. I would like to join that stilted transmigration, To feel my own skin vertical as theirs: An ant-road, a highway for beetles. I would like not minding, whatever travels my heart. To follow it all the way into leaf-form, bark-furl, root-touch, And then keep walking, Unimaginably further.”  – Jane Hirshfield, from the poem, Metempsychosis.

Completed another chapter,
turned another corner,
met another pause;
With time, already filling herself,
there is more color
in my new schedule,
and a bit more peace, bliss

Please join me at Urbantowergarden.wordpress.com this Spring. I’ll be here, too ~ musing & amusing xo Ka

Urban Garden Grows

I awoke to a message on UrbanTowergarden that reminded me that I had nearly forgotten to share some of what’s growing here. I was more carried away with the photography than anything.

Urban Towergarden

We are looking forward to seeing to see what our spring gardening yields this year. After the strawberry issue, and a very unusual winter, we returned to the growing on the tower. I added fresh chives to my breakfast this morning. I love being able to forage from my tower. An added benefit of  my tower is that sitting outside to eat my morning breakfast allows to me to enjoy the water sounds from the fountain that recycles the water in the tower, showering the plants in intervals.

My rose bush has buds all over it, and the mint is making a comeback as it always does. I always feel at home when I have fresh mint growing in my garden.

View original post