We are between eclipses and astrology continues. What about where we are beyond that, when not lost in translation? I have been taking my time and focusing my energy on taking care of my home and my personal needs so that I can support those who I care for offline – attending workshops and working on my center, developing technique and building up my qi.  I’ve been more dedicated to my private practice of journaling, meditation, and spontaneously creative breath work. 🙂

Before, when I started this blog, I was more “out there,” dispersed and now, it’s clear to me, that my immediate environment  – the neighborhood, etc, are more my proximity, is where I literally dwell, even from a shamanistic perspective. I think part of it is because I was actually moving in 2012 (blog started in 2011) and then I moved again in 2013, and then nearby to the previous location in 2015; since then, I’ve gotten settled, reclaimed more of myself from fragmentation, and have started running ‘deep’ once again. I’ve been going through transformation in a number of ways as I interact with all sorts of teachers in person, and when I meet with clients or patients in person. It’s really about re-forming myself, finding places where my illusions keep me from the present moment, and deepening my practice of self-work.  Getting good results is inspiring; it can also be a reminder to me that I need to keep at it.

Also the shifts have a lot to do with me getting much more physically healthy and being busy away from old focuses, and into new ones – or at least increasingly into the endeavors I started more recently, a couple years ago. As a result, blogging has not been a high priority for a while now. The poetry isn’t coming as regularly, but maybe it will return again.

I have some questions about the purpose of the internet and blogging right now as it relates to where my needs and those of others’ intersect.

I do believe that many bloggers are here to make a difference, as a main motivation. To me, that’s one of the keystones of blogging. What to do, though, when one is getting their ‘connectedness’ offline primarily. What to do when wanting to show people that caring is happening, but the focus is more deliberate now, and definitely self-centered.

When I get a text or two in reply to me, and I’m told, “you made me smile,” I feel like that’s a complete moment – that was making a difference. When I think about how I will use my newly acquired and honing skills, I think: YAY! Where can I be of service… next? I love that my work is offline!

Those bloggers who I most want to connect to, are people who want to make a difference, and already are making a difference. I see it all the time. Not living online daily, while knowing that there’s this online world, with online connections that are taking place, and people are interacting and supporting one another. It’s really a brilliant thing!

So ~ This is a gratitude post.

Also some questions:

1. How can blogging best serve people who are only part-time or 1/4 time (or less) bloggers?
2. How can we maintain relationships that have infrequent interactions? (i’ve had years of this and I love those friends/family dearly!!)
3. How can we keep connected for the teamwork purpose of creating a healthier, happier planet with people who aren’t being left behind?
4. How can we allow for people to be free from the internet for whatever period of time they need, and then be ‘welcomed back’ again?
5. How has the internet and social media transformed and shaped social obligations?

My focus has been renewed, and I seem to be away from blogging more and more during my current cycle – which is very healthy and supportive for me! Times always change and so maybe I will be back again to blogging when it is most beneficial.

While my spirituality is owned by no one particular teacher or set of teachings, I follow many wise persons who have come before me, as well as my inner guidance.

About a decade ago I began meditating with a group in a different state, on another coast. It was my home then, and sat for years with this group. I also sit alone and regularly meditate, with or without family, and sometimes it just so happens unplanned meditation with classmates while in different locations: serendipity, yes.

Since then I’ve been making my life on the opposite coast, and settling happened, and day of mindfulness and schedules converged, so as to enjoy a meaningful and in-depth experience at Deer Park Monastery.

The last time the “main monk” and founder was present there, I was outside suffering from back injury. I’m happy to report that I’m much improved!

I only hope that one day Thay will be in the same place at the same time, once more! I believe Thay is still recovering in Thailand. He established Deer Park Monastery and a satellite 🛰 meditation sangha , and now this. Many beautiful monks and mindfully kind people dwell and can be found sitting and eating peacefully.

Here are some pictures! May your day/days be filled with peacefulness and gratitude…

falling in love is not something that happens just once,
it might start in seemingly personal ways, but it is endless and
expansive

my husband and i were out at a plant nursery, where we divided and
chased after our respective whims and I found myself

photographing,

and falling in love with this vine. Partly it was because it was fuzzy,
but mostly, it was the energy of the vine.

we will be celebrating our half-a-decade anniversary soon
(my husband and I, not me and the vine – but in some ways,
yes. that too.)

i’m already celebrating,

celebrating how this joyous experience is mostly everywhere, most
often, most of the time.

the same day, children were everywhere, it seemed
(no matter where we went)
playing musical instruments.

it was the day I really remembered how much I like to sing.
and a couple of days after a friend and study buddy listed from the top of her head,(unprompted) a list! of
her favorite poems from the book I wrote and published in 2017

Starting with, “Sing. out. 🙂 (: Sing in.” 

the falling in love just keeps going…
in this real live world, where non-attachment means
the certainty of connection.

As the Full Moon approaches, I am thanking the symbolism of Saturn: reliable, steadfast…

As I prepare for the Autumn, I know a re-newed focus awaits.

 

I will raise my voice
my voice inside myself
that will not be contained,
nor constrained.

I will rise within, first.

* * *

I will open my eyes
and see –
restoration will be given to this land;
its promises and potentials
shall be
recreated,
renewed.

I will grow a sanctuary, with this vision.

* * *

I will call out to each
and every child confused
about where his parent might
be, at a moment’s notice.

you are seen.
you are loved.

No more school shootings,
No more crazy-cruelty.

I will keep on living until I see a
better world, and that is my defiance.

We are not small, we who are in remembrance
and we who are witnessing…

Ka Malana ©2018

********************************************************************************
Summer Solstice

I’m liking the mystic rectangle and the grand trine in this chart. Go ahead and point it out if you’d like. I also enjoy seeing the transiting North Node in Leo conjoining Venus in Leo. I’m offering no interpretations at this time. I’m fresh out of that sort of offering. But I think a picture can be worth more, anyways.

Mercury is in Cancer, my natal Mercury’s home. I’m nearing my Mercury return. It is what you make it. I’m working on that in my own heart/chart, finding my heart, and strengthening it, every day. North Node in Leo, for me, is about finding courage – and that – I am certain of. How many cycles will I need to strengthen my natal Sun? I don’t know…, but I do know that I will keep finding my way in the dark, or in the light – it matters not.

 

Exploring a perspective…

Our society doesn’t really enjoy smallness. When we refer to the ‘small,’ it’s often pejorative and the word is tied to phrases like “small-minded” and “playing small.” Smallness, the concept, is often coupled with ignorance, and not being a “major player,” which in our society, usually means ‘a bad thing.’ Granted, ignorance is not very well supported for good reason; maybe living in a world where everyday people are constantly trying to “learn” and constantly enrolling in classes has demonstrated an educational industry that has simply gotten out of hand. If you aren’t teaching these days, or running workshops, what are you doing?! The message is the same: everyone ought to be a leader, a teacher, a giver, a bestower of “the way”!

In our society, the paradigm is to aspire to be the inspirer of others (most influential!), taking big, bold actions demonstrating ‘great’ progress, demonstrating command of personal willpower, great personal fortitude, and a thick skin; meanwhile leaving room to express “vulnerability” in leadership which may or may not even feel vulnerable to the people divulging their “secrets.” After all, this is another ‘trained’ phenomenon. People are actually instructed to be vulnerable, to make themselves “real.” Each decade another set of instructions comes from research and leadership circles, and the advice trickles down to all, as each tries to become “more like” those instructions for success, the proven success. Then those who read those messages and repeat and disperse this information to their groups, ad infinitum – until maybe, maybe this news is old news. Maybe we need a new type of success – one that doesn’t look like all the other options available outside of us.

In essence, the message has been “be the best” – yet, even if you are being the best ‘you,’ how would anyone be able to recognize that? How would they even know what to look for? How could they offer support? That’s how different your success could look!

Nowadays the push is for each player to be the one who scores for the whole team – the shining star – the one who makes the biggest difference leading to the success for all. That’s still a level of shine that isn’t as shared as it could be! We value teams only in the sense that the teams occupy a great space due to the leader’s charisma, charm, and personal effectiveness: specifically if that leader is the coach. We want to point out one person to either blame or punish for success for failure.

It seems we value leaders above all, and there’s this underlying disdain for “the collective,” often relegated as “the unconscious” masses. We have to of course, “wake them up.” The entire concept of smallness in our society seems to relate back to a need for “protection” and “encouragement.” Everyone, it seems, should celebrate big gains in wisdom, intelligence, finances, etc. Progress should be unequivocally upward and regularly consistent, for all. Underlying these messages are some worthwhile intentions: we do want everyone to be happy. So, what does happiness real look like, though? Is it really the same for everyone?

Is there a possible different world, in which small places can hang out without being bull-dozed by the great and the awesome?

Are people allowed to simply “exist”?

When did we start attacking “existence” so strongly – all the while celebrating that existence in the non-human realms? I used to do fundraising for animal welfare groups, and many of the individuals I would talk to literally hated humans, above all.

Many of us love nature; we love how it exists. But if anyone actually tries to emulate nature, that individual will receive exactly zero praise. It might even be fought by the powers that be that apply pressure to this existing. This isn’t about praise however. This is about being allowed to live and let live, without the constant encouragement for self-disdain for being ‘normal’ or ‘regular’ and even gasp, “slow to grow.” Are we not giving enough, doing enough? Have we not changed the planet yet? How can this relentless pursuit to be big and grand, occupying as much space as possible physical or digital, while being uber productive, be the way to freedom and peace – for everyone?!

However there are a minority of quotes/adages that go something like this, “great is the enemy of good.” Each quote and concept needs some deconstruction.

I offer these thoughts merely as a reflection, realizing that this viewpoint that I am experimenting with is also temporary and transient.

 

Words.

for every time, i couldn’t word it, “it” slipped from me and word confined me and stifled me and “it-brush” didn’t have a problem with my choices. The brush, had texture, the brush had ears for every word I couldn’t translate from the other side of language, or what language? Or what symbol?

Artist.

—->Who I am.

not in my dna nor my Q&A (but there, too).
not in where I live and who I know
or all the pulses I’ve felt now.

it’s not in one piece of art that I make, but in all the art that i haven’t made yet.

or how vulnerable I make myself to the “strangers” who seem to want to talk to me wherever I go. even when quiet time may be most appropriate for me. I say hi and try to be as friendly and welcoming and open as possible.

the rhythm of the drum 🥁
The wildness in me who refuses to be scheduled by others.

the me that is happy to connect with people and Happy to close my shutters and say “me time, or close friend time, or family time.”

the selfless “i” who employs much time figuring out what would be best for others (and that I be myself. And how can I know that without asking. And that I sleep soundly. And that the ways of the world and the business of things will never confine my spirit).

my Spirit.

Ka Malana 🌅 2018

the painting is what it is. This piece I wrote felt more like spoken word. I hadn’t planned on posting daily to my blog, so I don’t know how long I will keep at this, but for now…

it is what it is

social media has been awkward. I started writing on this subject but still haven’t managed to communicate in a way that I can build on yet.

Oh – I forgot to add one of my favorite songs that came on while painting – here’s the live version!

Several years ago now, I started disseminating Tulsi tea to friends and family. I had forgotten about it, but then remembered. The tea is often combined with Rose 🌹 which I have been on quite the binge with since April, having recalled the love of rose – which brings me to earlier memories of my love with roses, sharing this love with my grandmother’s cat 🐈 named Meesh (probably was more my grandfather’s cat) who was left to the wild and visited when he wanted to (mostly because of me and the asthma I had when I was a child) thankfully hasn’t been a problem in years, but I still don’t have a cat 🐈. As far as the cat’s love for roses, there was an image hanging in their house (which was just sold) with Meesh (white cat) pictured smelling one of my grandmother’s red roses. I always absorbed that image, and it made me so happy. It’s still in my mind.

I might update this post about Tulsi, Rose, or cats, in more detail later, but I’m here today because I really wanted to share these rose images that stunned me on my walk yesterday.

Yes, I had with me only my smart phone but glad I did. Sometimes I want to be free of that, too! 😉

 

 

Here’s where I am in A Course of Love, Combined Volume: The Course, The Treatise, The Dialogues

I stopped high-lighting everything in this crazy blaring green color. (at least for now).

Here’s a favorite part in a Course that’s quite whole

“The sameness that this Course calls you to is not a sameness of body or of habit. It asks not for monks or clones. It asks not that you give up anything but illusion, which is the giving up of nothing.”

This makes me chuckle, and sounds like a good idea. Oneness and sameness without clone-ship and illusionary sacrifice. There’s a lot to digest here, not to mention all that came before – thankfully my mind is on the present moment.

Piscean Moon … 🌙

Back when I was an aspiring photographer and taking a photography class in college – I went out at night with my special camera 📷 filled with 35mm film.

i was enchanted by this slug and so “framed” it in this thoughtful composition, as “going to the light.”

Little did I know, I was preparing a gift for my photography teacher who gasped, “I love slugs!”

Thanks for inspiring this post via comment conversation – Sue Dreamwalker!

We both know the power and mystery of animal medicine.

*this is a photograph of a photograph that I processed myself in the darkroom back in the day. There is no orange hue in the actual image. This was posted as such for the sake of expediency, ironically.

*more photos in the queue and I’ll be updating my cooking blog…. potentially.

Happy Day loves 💕🐌

Slug love

Recent Yod pointing to Saturn (the “slow”)