“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela “Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no […]
Swimming in the sea of me
a magnificent light occurs-
i see it in the hoops and boops
and in the shimmering of days
my gills opening and closing
as i glide along.
though i swim in circles
i am creating an eddy –
a deep spiral,
that radiates with life.
there are sparkling lifeforms and
the darkness lurks
in my magical kingdom,
where i rule,
somedays i pretend to be
plankton and ride on the surface of
the water, moving not at all.
other times I channel into the
krill, and sift through the baleen of
**wishing everyone a wonderful New Moon in Cancer, and a Happy Summer Solstice**
Inside myself I want to open
all the tiny windows
and let out all atoms of information,
spiraling in both directions.
Inside myself, when I want
to pinch shut, or burst forth,
I want to instead respirate with a million
If I could be a mushroom with
gills, and with fungi prints,
or a tree frog that sits beside
you. If I could just keep you company;
I would not bite.
Inside myself, I have little air packets
and hollowed out canals. I am airborne,
There’s are things I wish I could be,
and then, there are things I really am, if you
Millions of tiny hugs, little blood vessels,
Tomorrow might be stressful, but right now is not.
Let me love you like a peristalsis hug.
I am your body. I am mostly made of
The moon high up upon heaven
Lights devotee’s path
A globe of knowing reflection
Faceless opening, light upon light
Sets the gentle night
Your edges are already rounded
Your brightness leaks
into the black-blue sky
lighting the path for crickets
People gaze up at you and point, Look!
while taking out their trash
*Please see the above link. It’s a beautiful song written and sung by a woman who, in the process of her musical training, went deaf due to a connective tissue disorder.
We are not free from others’ projections of us –
nor the collective power of social organization, which shapes
our policies, and what’s available – what’s on the table to be chosen.
In fact, we are exactly defined by how others see
us, regardless if what they see is an extension of
themselves, even within a collective. We live falsely from the onset,
by no device of our own; In effect, we are born to be misunderstood.
The beauty in this situation is
that whether or not anyone realizes ‘what’ really
belongs to ‘whom,’ we all are involved in the healing process, of
these projections and the role-assignments that are forged either because of them or despite them. We build a community, we form alliances; we courageously listen to others.
How does justice fit into this?
In the trial system, the people in the courtroom,
their thoughts and the lawyer’s arguments, work on the community
as a whole. The jury deliberates. People soul search. We hope that each voice gets heard, and that justice is served through the collective.
Our very idea of justice is based on the system of the collective. But what is at the core of that?
Community/Collective is healing, there is no separation from community. That is, it needs to heal, if it is to function properly. That is if by properly, we mean all things: prosperously, productively, healthfully. When we meaningfully ask for truth and reconciliation, we mean all things.
The inner world may not reflect the outer world, but the outer world certainly develops because of the individuals. It takes the individual to rise up and be heard in order to and for the collective/community to transform. This means we each must stand up for ourselves, by seeking inwardly that truth and reconciliation. Meanwhile, the outer world is reflecting where we need to serve this peace-making. This practice is a risk that we take, for the betterment of our neighbors. We make ourselves vulnerable when we offer our unique and untested ideas, but we do it in service to the greater good.
We are all unique. Our perspective need not follow along lines of
all those who have gone before us (or surround us), while each individual is touched by all he/she/it (general neutral) experiences. We need not look to the members of the group who wield the most social power, for we have our own individual sovereignties.
The world is real and yet it is at the same time only viewable through the lens of self. Each one’s relationship to the self. If one’s relationship with oneself is golden, then one can do great things in the world – because the impressions that the world places upon it, don’t scratch its surface, but just clear the veil to seeing that there is light. There is love. There is peace. We can clear this. We can do it, each of us.
perhaps only a butterfly
the edges of the
meeting your pulse (((((((
Once divided, no longer
all thoughts provided
))))))) hearing your song
rhymes, rhythmically, rapidly
] hearing your name [
word siblings are scattered
in new families
created, as seeds
/// seeing your wings \\\
united under one
as one, in one
the house of
visiting your temple of (a0)uM
at home devotion and
are profoundly proliferating…
as rabbit has a habit for touching infinity, too.
We lost the musician Chris Cornell this past week. Also I was assaulted near my home; I was spat on and yelled at for no reason, just walking by. You can tell me that this was not a big deal, but I won’t listen to you. The week ahead is supposed to be the tough week, though, full of tests. Ultimately, every time I blog is a test. I’m not sure why I do it. Why am I trying to sell my book? Who needs to see this, this is me, living quietly? Trying to live quietly. My book: Can she stand on her own value? What about my other creations, will they have homes in the future? Will there be creations? I still have my old paintings, most of them. They mean more to me than they would to anyone else. They collect dust; I love them. There are questions that aren’t mine to answer. Why did Chris decide to go? He was a teenage Soundgarden crush – but while in my twenties there was a revisiting with this particular song: Be yourself. A friend reminded me that Chris was still out there, making music. He had all of the tracks and gave them to me.
Have you ever lost touch with a musician that you enjoyed? Focused on your own work for a while, and then was happy to look up and see him or her, still out there, Still going?
Because that’s what we expect.
I’m glad I still have my guitar to play on every now and then. My friend. We make friends with the continuous. I just wish Chris still had his continuous…
Well, maybe in the other life. May his family heal really nicely.
I took these pictures to share with you. Now, I commemorate them for Chris Cornell. No longer a big fan of grunge – I don’t forget where I came from, and certainly not, where I am going….
The dudes interviewed me!!!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
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I wasn’t planning on sharing this painting, or at least yet. I made it as a fun print, with kid’s washable paint. It’s on wood. I like the blank spots, for now. Not worrying about being a “serious” painter – I like that every time I sit down to make some art, or I make art on the fly – it’s for a different reason, season, need, purpose. Sometimes I study an object, sometimes I just want to have fun. That’s what this was. Also, I’m not pigeon-holing it into “something” or needing to be defined. I’m letting it live on its own.
That said, I am sad to hear today about a colleague’s artwork being stolen. I’m angry. I’d like to keep the details private but I wanted to offer up my “make it easier” coloring in honor of this loss and ask that the artwork be returned to the owner it was gifted to and so that the work can continue to heal and make its offerings on the wall where it was originally set.
Scorpio as a sign in general tends to guard that 8th house of losses and gains. We are in the midst of the full moon with the nodes changing into Leo/N.Node and Aquarius/S.Node. I am a big believer that we don’t lose anything, only the physical form. I can only imagine how much of a blow it was to the creator of the artwork – with the art’s intention to heal and provide. This is the human condition, no one is free from loss. May this person, and all involved, experience a full restoration.
Photography ©2017 Ka Malana
i returned home to my roses bursting –
opened by more than mere grace
an abundance of nature, holding space
nature held place for you,
and for me
at home, together
while we healed and learned
and read books, Reikied over everything
while the highest light guided
and nature divided
the space opened and closed
into the shapes of waterfalls
different edges and
how when painting everything is seen first
as a geometric shape
drawn, stretched, applied,
revealed as nuance,
and the green gushing
on the road to Hana
forming snapshots – would keep an
editor busy for hours,
but i don’t have any reason
not when more work is around the bend
and poems to be written
and people to see.
blogs to visit
and new names to learn, books to read
at a pace that, that only mercury retrograde
Taurus was New, sculpting my memories
of sound, art
and each thing I ever made
came back to life.
the way the sun rises
the poetry is good
because life is written in it.
and the music playing is always the right song.
Tiny granite gravel garners
arranged and shaped by larger hands
from the hours and minutes
Our conversations linger above
like a cloud
accumulating memories as
rain drops and I chase the
In new places, on islands,
in another part of the world
I sit under the same tree.
At this point it is beyond
40 days and 40 nights,
how many lifetimes,
Like a leopard stalking
hungrily, I’ve faced you,
and sought your incarnation
in every one.
Yet each moment with you
is like a million moments
that are first moments;
and I am covered in morning light,
a soft gaze, your tenderness.
I shall return for more.
“In Borneo, there are palm trees that walk on their high roots. Slowly, with effort, they lift one leg then another. I would like to join that stilted transmigration, To feel my own skin vertical as theirs: An ant-road, a highway for beetles. I would like not minding, whatever travels my heart. To follow it all the way into leaf-form, bark-furl, root-touch, And then keep walking, Unimaginably further.” – Jane Hirshfield, from the poem, Metempsychosis.
Completed another chapter,
turned another corner,
met another pause;
With time, already filling herself,
there is more color
in my new schedule,
and a bit more peace, bliss
Please join me at Urbantowergarden.wordpress.com this Spring. I’ll be here, too ~ musing & amusing xo Ka
I awoke to a message on UrbanTowergarden that reminded me that I had nearly forgotten to share some of what’s growing here. I was more carried away with the photography than anything.
We are looking forward to seeing to see what our spring gardening yields this year. After the strawberry issue, and a very unusual winter, we returned to the growing on the tower. I added fresh chives to my breakfast this morning. I love being able to forage from my tower. An added benefit of my tower is that sitting outside to eat my morning breakfast allows to me to enjoy the water sounds from the fountain that recycles the water in the tower, showering the plants in intervals.
My rose bush has buds all over it, and the mint is making a comeback as it always does. I always feel at home when I have fresh mint growing in my garden.
Today as I was drawing up the astrological chart for the Vernal Equinox, I was running into all sorts of snags in terms of saving the chart and technological stuff. So, I had to sit myself down and slow down. I recalled back to all the progress I made with my em-Wave heart coherence the day before, and I was thinking about how I practice astrology and what I can contribute. Often times when we have a Full moon, or a New Moon or another punctuated seasonal event, we often embellish (as a culture) the sign that the Sun is in. Now, the Sun is special to me, sure (as a Leo), but in reality, what we are seeing is a BALANCE of signs and energies at any given moment. I say this because my natal Sun is in Libra’s house. So, balance is incredibly important to me, as we perceive it. I also have a tendency to believe in an inherent and natural balance that happens on its own, the way matter settles under gravity.
We have so many planets in Aries right now, and so it’s easy (understatement) to get carried away. I know I have been ~ so much creativity, there’s the gentle kick-back though and reminder for me, today, to just ‘be receptive’ and settle into some of this exuberance. Or, let the exuberance settle into me. There’s this excitement of what is to come during this time of the year – what has been growing and what might be around the corner waiting to be planted. Nevertheless, there is also this sense of ordinariness that creeps in and reminds me, we faithfully celebrate the turn of the seasons every year. If we didn’t, I don’t believe that we would be upsetting the Gods/Goddess/or Nature itself.
Back to the point about balance: I like to look at signs in “‘2’s.” Like a virtual see-saw, with a central pivot. I do not focus all my energy on the one spotlight sign: Aries! There’s a natural focus on Aries right now. So, I look to Libra. Do you follow me? Once I spring, there’s gotta be the opposite movement, “the catch.” I want my virtual see-saw to be nice and chill though, so there’s gotta be a central focus – between the two. But in balancing, just like a bicycle, I have to subtly pivot to both sides, one at a time.
A few years ago I did trapeze with my husband for the very first (and only) time. I’m going to use that as my metaphor. The Aries energy was helping me climb up that pole and reach the heights that I was reaching, but that was only the beginning. I needed the “will to move.” What I also needed was the listening ears for the instructions about how to hold my hands, and what to do when the trapeze bar came my way. I could see the net, yes, but when you are up-high, you don’t really calculate how much spring is in that net that helps catch you if you fall. There’s more. I didn’t know there was more until I was listening to the directions. I was told how to position my hands so that I would be ready for the catch. That’s right. Not only did I have to catch the bar, and then put up my knees and let go of my hands, my final fete was to open my hands and allow myself to be caught. That part was easy, but it was also tricky; it required one extra moment of acceptance, receptivity.
So, Libra is needed – to balance – the Aries energy.
During this Vernal Equinox, what are you catching? What’s in your net? What are you listening to? How will you bounce if you fall? Will you make ‘the catch’ and allow yourself to ‘be caught’? How can you balance your receptivity to others with your will to live and do and be so freely?