Lovely Ritual

If I’m middle-aged, I spent the majority of half of my life uninterested in ritual. Growing up I felt the rebellion to any type of ritual. For one, “ritual” meant to me as an activity that most people were disconnected from. I saw those who were living their rituals as just doing them for reasons unknown, usually out of habit, or by the shear influence of their society and culture. I saw a lot of people who seemed confined to their rituals. I didn’t want that for me. I didn’t want any structure for me. That was because I didn’t *understand* structure. However, the beauty of my path led me into true empowerment to where I could make and define rituals that were truly meant for me (and now my family).

To begin with, I started to become enlightened to the meaning of ritual when I studied anthropology at the University of Pittsburgh for my undergraduate degree. I learned that ritual not only provided structure but highlighted and connected people with their purpose. This doesn’t have to be religion–which is what the word ritual used to be confined to. Fortunately ritual is related to spirituality and this is why: with ritual we are creating space for our spirits to live. Ritual helps us “house” our time.

Now, I have always been interested in astrology. But not for the conventional reasons, but maybe for some of those too. Astrology has helped me connect to time in a ‘larger than community’ way. However, it has also connected me with community. There are so ways I could assess and think through how astrology has led me to ritual, but I don’t make a stink out of ritual. I still don’t want to be confined to it-so I’m not. It’s as simple as that. A ritual can be a simple “nod” to the inner part of me that wants to acknowledge the importance of space and time.

So, back to time: here I am. I am almost all planned for 2023. On that list of activities that I am signed up for is seeing Neil Degrasse Tyson. I am over the moon excited to see Neil Degrasse Tyson in 2023. My daughter has been attending a very wonderful “science” preschool with the most amazing humans who run it whom I have ever met. I’ve always loved science. But, I am not confined to science, either.

Back to ritual: I am writing out my calendar for 2023, and I am visioning and planning in ways I would never, ever have wanted to when I was younger. I’m doing it with delight and joy. This is not work. This is definitely pleasure. The previous 5 or so years, I started looking back over the last year. Basically the first part of my life, I had no ritual for reviewing the past or moving into the future. Now, I do. There’s momentum gaining in this process, and I’m excited about what’s around the bend.

Do you have rituals or do you dream? Do you do both? How do you organize your life? My years of “letting it happen” have finally co-joined with “making it happen” in a way that doesn’t constrain my soul. I feel this immense freedom I have not felt before. A lot of that freedom is coming from a new teacher I have been working with the last 6 months. I am looking forward to sharing more. But, I’d also like to hear a lot more from you!

James Lee Unsplash
Heather Zabriskie, Unsplash
Joice Kelly, Unsplash

P.S. One of my future goals is to take my family on an ancient library tour of the world. When shall I plan it for? Maybe in my 60s… Not sure yet.

Happy Spooky Autumn Love Dance

Guitar strings feel sore on my fingers while

my daughter’s voice chants “sing again! Again”

“Sing me the spooky song,” and so I begin again

“There is…

a house…

in New Orleans”

as I shift from one minor chord to the next,

sore and weak fingers coordinate to each rolling chord and manage the gist of the spooky

Now dancing in circles with joy…”They call it the Rising Sun”

***We stopped briefly to look at some flowers and saw a special moth

Happy New Moon in Libra ♎️ tomorrow!

Advice on being a better writer

Hello,

I have zero advice to offer you on this. Still reading? Maybe you can comment in the comment section on what qualities you think good writing has? I’m talking about, asking about, what speaks to your soul, your mind, and your heart?

  • Do you only read on a certain topic of set of topics?
  • Do you like to be inspired, motivated?
    • What motivates you?
  • Must the author have qualifications and expertise?
  • Do you only read from writers who already have a big following?
  • Do you wish to work on your own self-expression?
  • Is it important to you that the author be relatable?
  • Do you want to be able to interact with the author?
  • Poetry: do you respond more to subject matter or voice? Do you expect to be the same or changed by the poem, in some way? What if the poem makes you think? Do you like that or does the challenge feel too uncomfortable for you?
  • What are your own writing goals? Do you have quarterly writing goals?
  • Where do you see yourself going with your audience? How important is your audience to you?

The internet is down

We are managing through the heat wave but the internet is down. My cellular service is providing this little bit of connection. I have really, truly missed WordPress in the last several months while I was less present and more in my “local” life and goings ons… The community we’ve created is so beautiful. I love how we are all living our own lives, working on our own art, writing, hobbies, freedom and voice. Thank you for being here! 😃

There are so many of you who I miss, who have not been writing. You are never forgotten.

Unique and Interesting things Series #1: Melocactus & Elderberry and Lemon flavored Probiotic Skyr

Have you ever wanted to try interesting ‘new’ things but aren’t adventurous enough but enjoy hearing or reading about them? After a truly restful Labor Day weekend, where I slept much more than I could have imagined, which may or may not be due to that intense solar energy, we’ve been having lately, I feel like click-clacking out another post and sharing my glee—expressed powerfully through numerous run-on sentences. One of the best things that corresponded with my lazy affect over this past weekend is the reading of the Necromancer’s Daughter by Diana Wallace Peach. I have been mostly unable to put the kindle book version-on-my-phone app down during my reading periods, and if it weren’t for me having to “do life,” I would have finished it already; but as it is, I am halfway through it.

Now I shall get to the other interesting things:

Not your regular yogurt

“Now, we use milk from grass-fed cows raised on local organic farms. We ferment the milk slowly at low heat with our special blend of live and active cultures. When it starts curdling, we strain it gently until it’s rich, smooth and full of protein. Nothing else.”

This taste is fantastic, unique, and smooth. Teaming with healthy probiotics and Icelandic sensibilities, this flavor is perfect for an evening heat wave, for delicious satisfaction and a slightly cooling effect. I’m about to try the Strawberry and Rubarb one, although I have enjoyed that flavor before. During the 2020 part of the pandemic, I made my own Elderberry Syrup on the stove from scratch. This delicate flavor of Elderberry with lemon in the yogurt is the perfect complement as an evening snack, which the smoothness and richness of a dessert without any damage.

A cactus berry that looks like a 🥕 carrot!

There’s another video from Snake island where you can actually see these little fruit like carrots being removed.

Cactus fruits are known to be high in antioxidants. It contains betacyanin which is a natural pretty reddish bluish pigment which is also in pitaya which is why it’s a good comparison as spoken in this video. I have not tasted these cactus fruits nor many other cactus fruits, but I’ll keep you posted on that.

This Pisces full moon is coming to fruition on September 10 but adjust for your place in the world. The fact that this full moon is coming on the heels of Mercury retrograde can have us drawing up some metaphors and interpretations. Maybe things seem more Neptunian-like and surreal, spirituality takes on a bigger appeal or maybe you are just asking why everyone so out of their minds. The possibilities are limitless as with the subconscious and realms that are Piscean watery-like , “ego less” psychic-seeming and without bounds. Dip your feet in the waters of this Pisces moon with your own private ceremony to wash away the vicissitudes of life and get a grip on where and when you sacrifice your better judgement. A nice Sun trine Uranus with full moon sextile Uranus can bring unusual inspirations, out of nowhere! Yes, and with the moon in conjunction with Neptune, this Pisces theme is a double-decker Pisces sandwich of sorts. Be it whimsy if you may. Set up your date with art and beauty for the weekend, if you haven’t already, and let your inspirations take you away…

Ka’s Guide to Mercury Retrograde

I didn’t know what I was going to write, exactly, until I sat down and click-clacked away at the title. Apparently I am going to be writing a guide. If you know me well, you will know that the mere idea that I would provide you with a guide that you will immediately read and ignore is hilarious to me. There are many times in my life, when I have tried to share my wisdom but it has absolutely fallen on deaf ears. Sometimes people forget my advice was mine and they took it for their own and thought it was their own idea. Eventually they catch on. One of my first pieces of advice for you is to skip everything that I am writing and go directly to the song I have posted. The song is everything you need. The end.

But I am still here and click-clacking away. I’m doing this instead of cleaning the toilet. If you know me, they you would know that it is ridiculous for me to spend this time writing before my warrior training; I should really be cleaning the toilet. However, if you also know me, I think I’m going to bang out this post and still have time to do a glowy job on the toilet and make the good old porcelain shine. My voice feels different, but I assure you: it’s mine. It’s even more “me” because of this Mercury retrograde shadow period.

Essie Jain – my new favorite singer-musician

Source from above is Cafeastrology.com

Mercury Retrograde September to October 2022

  • On August 20, 2022, Mercury enters the Retrograde Zone (pre-retrograde shadow) at 24° Virgo 12′
  • On September 9, 2022, Mercury stations and turns retrograde at 8° Libra 55′ Rx
  • On October 2, 2022, Mercury stations and turns direct at 24° Virgo 12′
  • On October 16, 2022, Mercury leaves the Retrograde Zone (post-retrograde shadow) at 8° Libra 55′

KA’s 10 STEP – GUIDE

  • 1). Create comfortable space between your people and you.
    • Do this by taking more time to understand what people are saying. Recognize that even if you give it more time, you might still have a misunderstanding.
  • 2). Spend more time in quiet, journaling, and/or expressing yourself with the AWARENESS that you may not be understood as clearly as you’d like. Work on refinement.
  • 3). If you HAVE TO sign a contract, realize that it may not be perfect and it will likely need a “redo” so try to be as clear as possible by understanding that you may change your mind later, or need to do extra work around it.
  • 4). Use your time to get better acquainted with your technology, car, neighbors. If anything requires extra attention, expect to have to pause to take care of things more frequently. Pace yourself.
  • 5). Have an outlet for your frustration that is not another human or an animal. Practice deep breathing.
  • 6). Allow your spirit to guide you in a whimsical way but don’t sway too far off track. You need to give your spirit a wee bit more freedom to be “airy” during this time.
  • 7). Ventilate your space and keep your air circulating.
  • 8). Participate in movement activities to help nourish the energy that can get restricted during the retrograde movements. Any frenetic energy needs to be channeled into brainstorming or even scribbling. It’s okay to be messy during this period, give it an outlet. Your systems will improve when you observe yourself as a “train off the tracks” so you can be more mindful of your habits.
  • 9). REALIZE that this and every and all retrogrades are phenomena that don’t need to drive you crazy, because they are helping you to improve and become a much clearer and more direct version of yourself within your environment (3rd house, domain of Mercury/Gemini).
  • 10). If people from the past come back, ask yourself what you can learn from this period, so that when Mercury goes direct and into the post-shadow phase, you have clarity around your relationship.

Toilet cleaning is about to begin, at its best! LOL

the gap

all broken things can become

un brok en

how?

this is done with the mind–

as a spoon can bend,

a bro ken can be rendered whole.

my dear,

this is why we have each other

knowing in our minds

that we are whole.

reminding you that your heart

can live in your mind.

having mind and heart together

fills the gap

With this New Moon in Virgo, I hold my health and vision gently. I take inventory of myself, and I sink into the Earth. I feel the protection of the land and know how we care for one another. This land cares for me, and I for it. May you fill with blessings in your awareness of all that is available to you, right now.

Healing from abuse

My friend Dinah posted this quote on her Facebook, and I’ve been haunted by it ever since. I was mentally and emotionally abused by my older brother since I was a young child. I have not had communication with him in over a decade and half at least and only to drop off a check for him at Barnes and Nobles from my parent for him.

Mental illness is no joke. When you have it in your family, it destroys you from the inside, while you are young and innocent and haven’t even formed a sense of who you are yet. It’s like being rotten and feeling rotten, and then you are carving your way out of it to find and redeem your purity, your health, and what’s worth loving about yourself. No abuser loves themselves. They will make you suffer because of their own self hate, and then they will blame you for existing while they ignore and invalidate your existence.

I’m still scared of him. I still worry he will be in the same geographic area. He has shown zero interest in me and but conversely when he had become a cutter he splattered darkness all of the internet and complained about me to “his people.” I am posting this because of the quote. I am breaking free. I am breaking 💯 free and I don’t even know how I’m going to do it. But, I will continue to not only be a survivor but a thriver.

I will not live in fear of him. He no longer has ANY power over me!!!!!

Re-birthday, Fiestaestrellas!

My Blog is 11 years old, from March 2011. It didn’t get its celebration in 2020. Between 2020 (pandemic) which I was not depressed, and 2021, when I was depressed–there was no celebration. Since it’s my birthday on Sunday and this blog is named after the idea of celebrating, (“Fiestaestrellas” is my made-up word which means: celebration of life, time and everything), I’m gonna call it a re-birthday today. It’s also an homage to the stars. The stars do not rule us–but they make an excellent tapestry or “green screen” for all our events and grand plans. The stars follow us.

Astrology is the work of story-tellers. We need to tell the best stories that inspire that reclaim the meaning of our lives and that help us have hope for the future. I believe this is the purpose of astrology. I have really not focused on it for a long time. One of the main reasons is that I lost my voice for it. The second reason was that I was very distracted with deep and intense study in other fields of endeavors that I put all my focus there, instead. In the meantime, I occasionally and randomly blog here about all sorts of different things. Many of those things are more personal in nature. I blogged about my own healing journey through pain. I blogged about my milestones, and I blogged about my spirituality at times. There are times my writing was about writing itself, or about meditation and maintaining spiritual practices and developing discipline. Lately, I’ve been more interested in cultivating passion and commitment. I’ve blogged a number of poems and published a poetry book in 2017, and posted about it here, too. Also I have sometimes included my art from my past, and thoughts on art, while I contemplate how I will feature art in my future again. I love music and have not added enough songs to my posts. In the future, I want to spend more time on the ‘craft’ of my writing, my art, and return to my photography and also, astrology: the language and programming of light from the stars and how it relates to how we define meaning, consciousness, and togetherness.

pixabay

HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY, FIESTA ESTRELLAS!

You all make Fiesta Estrellas “a thing” and she and it will grow beyond me–as I’d love to expand into the horizons beyond, for the good of all of us.

Rescuing that Spider

The day is never dull.

Was she an emblyna francisca or euryopis californica? It’s tough to tell. She was so small. She scrambled when I opened the window to vent my frankincense incense burner’s intensity as I clear my magical space. I have visions now of the little amber looking spider friend who rolled into a shoulder roll martial arts ball as I touched her gently to nudge her onto my white KN95 mask for transportation outside. It was a successful strategic move. She’s clearly outside now.

inaturalist photo

Today I is the first day of Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi’s Time to Thrive Challenge.  It starts today at 11am PDT. Check it out. https://timetothrivechallenge.com/join

Pocket Gophers

Ka Photography

The gophers had come! The gophers relate to the strong feminine energy of the Mother Earth. They symbolize fertility and working deep with the soil. Gophers love to nibble on roots and destroy gardens. They’d be cute if they weren’t such a pest. There are limitless resources out there about smells gophers don’t like. I have tested these hypotheses and the gophers are not too dissuaded. Garlic and Gardenia don’t work, moth balls do not deter. Gophers are resilient and smart. They have each other, but it only takes one gopher to ‘somehow’ make many more. I’m not saying that they are asexual, but they sure are clever and fast when they want to be.

The gophers show us how to build and network. Their tunnels can be elaborate; they work unseen. I’ve been thinking about the networks in my life that are unseen. The ways that I’m tied to others and to my neighborhood and community. Animals are messengers and help us to reflect on the wisdom they provide if you are looking, responding and receiving those messages.

Mud Dauber Wasp

Today I found a dead mud dauber wasp in my office. I know this is symbol of ” productivity, courage, fertility, taking control, and new beginnings.”1 It’s likely a sign of newer energy for my office and for the people who I work with professionally. Here is a picture of what the mud dauber looks like. What’s most impressive about it is its tiny little stringed waist. They are mostly harmless, and like to eat black widows, which we also do have here geographically. Mud daubers are very industrious.

Mud Dauber Wasp2
Picture from ingeniovirtual

Their homes look like little marvelous clay patterned circle clusters. They feel energetically gentle in nature in comparison to their other wasp cousins. They fly rather slowly. I have enjoyed learning about the mud dauber from several weeks ago when one tried to set up shop in our peephole box. Our house is very old and it has an antique box–no wonder the dauber was attracted to the shiny brass container.

It looks like this:

It’s apparently Victorian– elegant and beautiful, ornate. That particular mud dauber was unsuccessful in building a nest in our peephole box.

There’s another metaphor at work here. I just completed a 3 day intensive (all day) cadaver dissection lab. I will complete my doctorate in acupuncture in December. I have done continuing education credits even before I completed my Masters and was licensed. However, this past weekend, in more ways than one, I was connecting with an ancient practice, sitting on the shoulders of the greats as I walked the path that these others have walked. As I endured the challenges of such work with focus and attention and, most importantly, ethics and respect. I am not an anatomist, but I do follow some of them. The picture below connects to Andreas Vesalius who created many anatomy books. For more information about his work see here: https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/features/andreas-vesalius-1514-1564-and-the-books-that-made-the-father-of-anatomy

From Science to Art and then Back again

The poetry of my life is in my daily experiences. Right now, it is in the form of mud. My poetry is filled with the CLAY of life, but it is still in my heart and not in the written word. Writing feels forced right now, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m doing it anyways. So, it’s not all flow-y but it’s here. I’ll take it!

Although I do practice an ancient medicine. It is very much alive and living. It’s constantly being de-codified and better understood by the leaders and influencers in my field. And as my 42 birthday approaches this weekend, it occurs to me: I’m so glad that I was not born during a medieval time. Even better, I am so glad that I did not GIVE BIRTH in such a medieval time. What’s even better, is that I get to recover some lost knowledge and salvage the scrap-aways and “scraps” of medical history. There I find brass and gold and so many useful things! (more metaphors).

By reclaiming the lost arts and sciences we are better understanding our current era’s medicine and framework. The goal is to work outside of the industry of pharmaceutical society, but also with it. We have to work with what is already here. There are so many possibilities when true health and healing is the endeavor–when enlightenment is the “goal.” I value all the wisdom that came before me. As I skim my 40s, still at the first level, I know my own life is industrious and still filled with fertility, creativity, art and science. I know that I am living the life of my dreams, made of clay, and building with my hands in the clay. The fruits of the labor are still years away, but I can taste many of them now. Birthdays are often about reflection. But they don’t have to be. This one will mostly just be about enjoyment, and as my 3 year old exclaims “What the heck?” She learned it from her friend at preschool with her Brooklyn accent (that’s how I know, plus she said so). “What the heck” is my mantra for “whatever arises.”

Medieval Childbirth3

Happy Birthday to me in the modern era, as a modern woman with a growing list of skills, interests, and talents. Happy Birthday to me as a mother and a wife and a simple doctor. None of what I wrote here is to be construed as medical advice. I don’t use my name on my blog. This blog is only for entertainment purposes. Am I entertaining you yet?

https://www.bl.uk/learning/timeline/large100531.html

Other Sources:

  1. 5 spiritual meanings of wasp (totem & omens). Miller’s Guild. (2022, April 15). Retrieved August 1, 2022, from https://www.millersguild.com/wasp-symbolism/#:~:text=In%20short%2C%20wasps%20symbolize%20productivity,love%20to%20interact%20with%20you!
  2. 2. Blog – what is a Mud Dauber & how worried should I be about them around my houston home? Affordable, Effective Pest Control In DFW, Houston, Austin & San Antonio. (2021, March 9). Retrieved August 1, 2022, from https://romneypestcontrol.com/what-is-a-mud-dauber-how-worried-should-i-be-about-them-around-my-houston-home/
  3. Evans, E. (2022, June 28). The Medieval Childbirth Guide: 6 tips for pregnant mothers in the Middle Ages. HistoryExtra. Retrieved August 1, 2022, from https://www.historyextra.com/period/medieval/middle-ages-childbirth-dangers-mothers-midwives-how-did-medieval-women-give-birth/

Going deep with gratitude

The incredible changes to my life since last year have been so positive; it is wonderfully baffling.

Last year I was struggling with depression because of what felt like a never-ending severe back pain problem. What I did was I put so much energy, effort and investment into my wellness, and it worked! Where I used to have to lay in bed hours a day for physical pain, I’m now able to function normally, since about November of last year. This has been my longest period of living ‘normally’ again since 2012.

I prayed, worked on myself, did so many therapies like targeted spinal decompression and PRP including additional shamanic work. This was all in addition to the chiropractic and the acupuncture, exercises, stretching and diet changes. It all helped, but now I can even add very wonderful 1 hr cardio great sweating workouts twice a week in addition to my weekly martial arts training with my trainer. On the other days I still make time for working out and meditating.

Now my entire life as a whole is so fulfilling and well rounded. This December I will be graduating with my doctorate degree in Acupuncture. Right now with my Master’s degree and license, I work on athletes at the nearby university. I work with children at the nearby hospital, and I have a private practice with my own office.

This afternoon, I took a good nap, and when I awoke I started reflecting on the work I’ve been doing, the healing, and also the many challenges I have overcome. We live in a new house that I am in love with,too. My energy has expanded so much! What I also do see is that my healing is going to keep going deeper. I am able to work with people so beautifully. I can see how much I help them, and the feedback I get often astonishes me. This is incredibly motivating and rewarding.

At this point in my life, I wonder: what else is possible?! I’ve run out of particular wishes or desires. I have all that I need. I am beyond grateful for this life I get to live, and for being able to get out of that hole I was in while processing all that I needed to process. Spiritual growth is a real thing. These bodies we inhabit can help us transcend the body. Once again, this feels like the beginning of a new chapter in my life—into the depth of my core. The power I am generating from my center is a gift that I am motivated to share with others as I continue to expand. My birthday is coming around again in August, and I face it with this deep peace, pleasure, and knowingness. I am settled. I am dynamic, and I am ready for more.

We have family visiting this week, and next month as well. It will be another dynamic time. The excitement and drive I feel to be an ever-increasing positive influence is real.

I know I haven’t been on the blog much. I miss so many of you. But, I do know that this is just a season, and I’m always here. Blogging is not temporary. I love you all so much to connect to you all is such a gift. When I reached out last year, I received so much grace and love from you. You all really helped me get through that challenging time. I want us to stay in touch with each other, here and on your blogs, and continue to be in each others’ lives. Thank you for reading! 💗