Flowers for Mourning, Living, Loving

We lost the musician Chris Cornell this past week. Also I was assaulted near my home; I was spat on and yelled at for no reason, just walking by. You can tell me that this was not a big deal, but I won’t listen to you. The week ahead is supposed to be the tough week, though, full of tests. Ultimately, every time I blog is a test. I’m not sure why I do it. Why am I trying to sell my book? Who needs to see this, this is me, living quietly? Trying to live quietly. My book: Can she stand on her own value? What about my other creations, will they have homes in the future? Will there be creations? I still have my old paintings, most of them. They mean more to me than they would to anyone else. They collect dust; I love them. There are questions that aren’t mine to answer. Why did Chris decide to go? He was a teenage Soundgarden crush – but while in my twenties there was a revisiting with this particular song: Be yourself. A friend reminded me that Chris was still out there, making music. He had all of the tracks and gave them to me.

Have you ever lost touch with a musician that you enjoyed? Focused on your own work for a while, and then was happy to look up and see him or her, still out there, Still going?

Because that’s what we expect.

I’m glad I still have my guitar to play on every now and then. My friend. We make friends with the continuous. I just wish Chris still had his continuous…

Well, maybe in the other life. May his family heal really nicely.

I took these pictures to share with you. Now, I commemorate them for Chris Cornell. No longer a big fan of grunge – I don’t forget where I came from, and certainly not, where I am going….

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Art, poetry and dudes, with Ka Malana

The dudes interviewed me!!!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

shehanne moore

 
Ka Malna  – No, but that sounds like a good idea. I’ll chew on that.
 
Ka Malana– I never thought of it. I’m sorry, dudes.
 
 http://poeticparfait.com/2017/05/12/the-hellfire-club-women-georgian-england-guest-post/?sn=c&c=36176#comment-36176
 
Ka Malana  -Art for Art provides glimpses of my personal mind/body/spirit journey in the format of poetry. The contents spans over a couple of years of time. Most of the poems started out on the blog but they wanted to be in a book,
so a book was made to give them a home. Almost all of them were edited, and some of them now look like new poems – some divided, some grew.
Ka Malana –There’s also quite a bit of new content, and of course the arrangement was naturally put together in mostly the order of its occurrence (poem’s birth). That said, friends came in to help this new budding author (me), and that really made it…

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For those who experience loss, may something be gained.

Maui inspired print

I wasn’t planning on sharing this painting, or at least yet. I made it as a fun print, with kid’s washable paint. It’s on wood. I like the blank spots, for now.  Not worrying about being a “serious” painter – I like that every time I sit down to make some art, or I make art on the fly – it’s for a different reason, season, need, purpose. Sometimes I study an object, sometimes I just want to have fun. That’s what this was. Also, I’m not pigeon-holing it into “something” or needing to be defined. I’m letting it live on its own.

That said, I am sad to hear today about a colleague’s artwork being stolen. I’m angry. I’d like to keep the details private but I wanted to offer up my “make it easier” coloring in honor of this loss and ask that the artwork be returned to the owner it was gifted to and so that the work can continue to heal and make its offerings on the wall where it was originally set.

Scorpio as a sign in general tends to guard that 8th house of losses and gains. We are in the midst of the full moon with the nodes changing into Leo/N.Node and Aquarius/S.Node. I am a big believer that we don’t lose anything, only the physical form. I can only imagine how much of a blow it was to the creator of the artwork – with the art’s intention to heal and provide.  This is the human condition, no one is free from loss. May this person, and all involved, experience a full restoration.

Taurus moon burst, touching, new

i returned home to my roses bursting –
opened by more than mere grace
an abundance of nature, holding space

nature held place for you,
and for me
at home, together

while we healed and learned
and read books, Reikied over everything
while the highest light guided
and nature divided
the space opened and closed
into the shapes of waterfalls

different edges and

how when painting everything is seen first
as a geometric shape
and then
fleshed out,
drawn, stretched, applied,
revealed as nuance,

light shining
light shimmering

and the green gushing
clay cliffs
on the road to Hana
twisted
forming snapshots – would keep an
editor busy for hours,

but i don’t have any reason
to edit

not today
not when more work is around the bend
and poems to be written
and people to see.

blogs to visit
and new names to learn, books to read
at a pace that, that only mercury retrograde
would allow.

Taurus was New, sculpting my memories
of sound, art
in darkness,
and each thing I ever made

came back to life.

the way the sun rises
the poetry is good
because life is written in it.

and the music playing is always the right song.

Buddha’s White Rose, Libra’s Full Moon

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© 2017 Ka Malana, Photography

Tiny granite gravel garners
your contours
arranged and shaped by larger hands
from the hours and minutes
passed

Our conversations linger above
like a cloud
accumulating memories as
rain drops and I chase the
sensations

In new places, on islands,
in another part of the world
I sit under the same tree.

At this point it is beyond
40 days and 40 nights,
how many lifetimes,

Like a leopard stalking
hungrily, I’ve faced you,
and sought your incarnation
in every one.

Yet each moment with you
is like a million moments
that are first moments;
and I am covered in morning light,

a soft gaze, your tenderness.

I shall return for more.

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© 2017 Ka Malana, Photography

Leaf me here

leaf.jpg
© 2017 Ka Malana, Photography

“In Borneo, there are palm trees that walk on their high roots. Slowly, with effort, they lift one leg then another. I would like to join that stilted transmigration, To feel my own skin vertical as theirs: An ant-road, a highway for beetles. I would like not minding, whatever travels my heart. To follow it all the way into leaf-form, bark-furl, root-touch, And then keep walking, Unimaginably further.”  – Jane Hirshfield, from the poem, Metempsychosis.

Completed another chapter,
turned another corner,
met another pause;
With time, already filling herself,
there is more color
in my new schedule,
and a bit more peace, bliss

Please join me at Urbantowergarden.wordpress.com this Spring. I’ll be here, too ~ musing & amusing xo Ka

Urban Garden Grows

I awoke to a message on UrbanTowergarden that reminded me that I had nearly forgotten to share some of what’s growing here. I was more carried away with the photography than anything.

Urban Towergarden

We are looking forward to seeing to see what our spring gardening yields this year. After the strawberry issue, and a very unusual winter, we returned to the growing on the tower. I added fresh chives to my breakfast this morning. I love being able to forage from my tower. An added benefit of  my tower is that sitting outside to eat my morning breakfast allows to me to enjoy the water sounds from the fountain that recycles the water in the tower, showering the plants in intervals.

My rose bush has buds all over it, and the mint is making a comeback as it always does. I always feel at home when I have fresh mint growing in my garden.

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Vernal Equinox – Springin’ it!

Today as I was drawing up the astrological chart for the Vernal Equinox, I was running into all sorts of snags in terms of saving the chart and technological stuff. So, I had to sit myself down and slow down. I recalled back to all the progress I made with my em-Wave heart coherence the day before, and I was thinking about how I practice astrology and what I can contribute. Often times when we have a Full moon, or a New Moon or another punctuated seasonal event, we often embellish (as a culture) the sign that the Sun is in. Now, the Sun is special to me, sure (as a Leo), but in reality, what we are seeing is a BALANCE of signs and energies at any given moment. I say this because my natal Sun is in Libra’s house. So, balance is incredibly important to me, as we perceive it. I also have a tendency to believe in an inherent and natural balance that happens on its own, the way matter settles under gravity.

We have so many planets in Aries right now, and so it’s easy (understatement) to get carried away. I know I have been ~ so much creativity, there’s the gentle kick-back though and reminder for me, today, to just ‘be receptive’ and settle into some of this exuberance. Or, let the exuberance settle into me. There’s this excitement of what is to come during this time of the year – what has been growing and what might be around the corner waiting to be planted. Nevertheless, there is also this sense of ordinariness that creeps in and reminds me, we faithfully celebrate the turn of the seasons every year. If we didn’t, I don’t believe that we would be upsetting the Gods/Goddess/or Nature itself.

Back to the point about balance: I like to look at signs in “‘2’s.” Like a virtual see-saw, with a central pivot. I do not focus all my energy on the one spotlight sign: Aries!  There’s a natural focus on Aries right now. So, I look to Libra. Do you follow me? Once I spring, there’s gotta be the opposite movement, “the catch.”  I want my virtual see-saw to be nice and chill though, so there’s gotta be a central focus – between the two. But in balancing, just like a bicycle, I have to subtly pivot to both sides, one at a time.

A few years ago I did trapeze with my husband for the very first (and only) time. I’m going to use that as my metaphor. The Aries energy was helping me climb up that pole and reach the heights that I was reaching, but that was only the beginning. I needed the “will to move.” What I also needed was the listening ears for the instructions about how to hold my hands, and what to do when the trapeze bar came my way. I could see the net, yes, but when you are up-high, you don’t really calculate how much spring is in that net that helps catch you if you fall. There’s more.  I didn’t know there was more until I was listening to the directions. I was told how to position my hands so that I would be ready for the catch. That’s right. Not only did I have to catch the bar, and then put up my knees and let go of my hands, my final fete was to open my hands and allow myself to be caught. That part was easy, but it was also tricky; it required one extra moment of acceptance, receptivity.

So, Libra is needed – to balance – the Aries energy.

During this Vernal Equinox, what are you catching? What’s in your net? What are you listening to? How will you bounce if you fall? Will you make ‘the catch’ and allow yourself to ‘be caught’? How can you balance your receptivity to others with your will to live and do and be so freely?

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Water-falling buckets

i am more than happy
to be a cog in this wheel
as one who passes that baton
that has already been passed
by so many of
my teammates,
to so many of my
teammates.

i don’t need to invent anything,
or repackage something else.

and i am happy to be
one who doesn’t win the race often,
or ever, but gets to
make it to the show, serendipitously
through others,
on most days. And when i don’t,
i know – that everything doesn’t rest on me.

the world will turn even without me,
but loves me anyways.

i am more than happy
to be one of this many
of this many that is one,

breathing allows me to be
a precious, tiny cog in this wheel
that turns like water-falling buckets,
yeah, that.

there’s a central axis that can’t be
pointed at.

right now there are so many baskets
opening with the harvest of
sitting dormant all through the winter;

the hardest work done,
was no work at all.

 

Stop

even if i wanted to
i couldn’t stop falling
hopelessly in love
with
each sound that i
hear
or the texture of your
fingertips
as they make a point,
acting as a second face
annotating
their contours, and giving away
who you are
when you elevate a thought
in your mind

or quickly
or slowly

move on to the part
where you enjoy laughing
in the story.

even if i wanted to
i couldn’t become unallergic
to the fluffiest cutest most self-complete
creatures on earth.

but i strangely and unapologetically
relish the event where i’m invited to
suffer this love at someone’s house,
with their cat/s.

I can vicariously enjoy
the gift of pictures.

even if i wanted to
i couldn’t not be afraid.
of each thing i say or do,

how will it effect things, people, butterflies,
or will my actions do nothing at all?

If you only knew what momentum’s
edge has, you’d know that even
if I wanted to, i couldn’t do so
many things, unless they are
‘right’ they felt ‘right’ they
are, me, bringing –> you some “flowers,”
in some way.

i want to help deliver
these moments that make you
go ‘Oh’ and ‘Yeahhhh’
or, ‘i see,’ ‘hmmm.’

even if i wanted to, i couldn’t not
live, just a little bit more
every day.

to live outside this bubble,
is where exactly i am,
and it’s a difficult place to describe,
it’s pointless, literally, figuratively…

i couldn’t not read the news today.

this land, the earth, our home,
i couldn’t help loving even if you
told me, everything is boloney
and all the talking heads are all really
extemporaneous and perhaps
slightly more honest and candid
because of that.

Because if all this is prepared, who did
the script writing, created the scenery,
set the extremes to ‘high’ ?

even if i wanted to,
i couldn’t fast-forward to the part
of the story where everything is perfect
and everyone sees eye-to-eye –
and all the sickness in the world has been
cured, but if i wanted to,

i can stop everything – and look
at where there are no problems, nothing to
sort, no mission to achieve, not a single angle
to behold.

if i wanted to, i could work on this ‘place’
and widen it, and see what its got to share with
me.

i could return to the sounds that i
couldn’t stop falling in love with,
even if i wanted to, silence…

it contains all of this.

6th Blog Year ~ Grateful

wordcloudFiestaestrellas.com has been active for 6 years! Blog posts have ranged from subjects in art, shamanism, astrology, reiki, poetry, short fiction, gratitude, survival, planetary love, trees and friendship. Blogging has been the hug (hub – last word was a typo I thought I’d keep!) of wonderful new friendships and connections, with lots of sharing, growing, and camaraderie throughout the years. It’s been a place to celebrate the magic and mystery of creation.

Just 6 years ago, before a life-changing trip to Kauai (and following 4 years of radical personal change), and a resultant development along my shamanic path as a then solo practitioner (with lifelong study of astrology and intermittent art-making in various media), fiestaestrellas.com was born! There was all the excitement of Uranus having just entered Aries, and the inspiration hit: begin this blog! I was working with children and tutoring high school refugee students in English around that time. I remember so fondly our Valentine’s Day celebration the month prior. Seeing the culmination in action!

6 is the number of this blogger’s life path. It is the union of 3 and 3. It is the path of the healer-nurturer, while 33 is that of a Master teacher. To me this is the guidance from the way. I receive the guidance ‘on the way,’ as I am with ‘the dao’ and inseparable from it. Scholars may remember that Dao once written as “Tao.” Even the ancient terms are re-written and from this new expressions are given to the value of the old.

Old and New collide here in the Blogland of “celebration of stars,” Fiestaestrellas, and make something all together different, timeless, and hopefully beautiful. Because who doesn’t need a decent measure of hope and beauty?

Uranus will change signs into Taurus in 2018 (a time I am very much looking forward to!), and with that time another foundation will be laid here, as the endurance will be a sure measure of the creative output and willingness to move with Spirit – while having a good time – will be and is the reason and why!

As Venus currently retrogrades in Aries and then into Pisces – inspirational (Aries) value (Venus) is under review, introverted, re-claimed, re-beautified, and/or released. What I value in this moment is to recollect the gentle energy of receptivity, the sculpted and painted form of love and living love through my values, exchanges, and relationships. The poetry of the way life moves, in true acceptance. Impressions and general affinities – the light touch of the sensory perceptions and those of the beyond – are embraced, valued.

Mahalo ~ Mahalo ~ Mahalo ❤

In honor of this time, I have a song I want to play, a song that gently repeats itself in my life practice. It is Tara’s mantra: White Tara (some will say Green Tara). While the mantra has such meaning of itself, this particular vocalist really brings the harmony to my ears as I experience it, and into the song of the meditation, offering, peace.   Aloha ❤

Post update: The wonderful photo above in the shape of a wireless signal, was inspired by one of my blogging friends, Ra @ Rarasaur: In this blog post, she showed us where to get a nifty design online. The image was sitting in my downloads folder until I saw it while cleaning.

Afternoon Exercise

every face today has a smile
eye contact and a
story telling.

“today is my birthday,” he
says. “I’m 24.” I can hear
It in his voice – he is
grateful to be alive.

each year gets more precious

This dog named Ranger, who reminds me of Venus, both black labs, both friendly. One has passed on. Ranger is
panting happily, here and now.

All with a meet and greet – and just now I loOk up and deeply into a woman’s eyes.

Hello! We say It at the same time. Her visor is a good idea. I replace my sunglasses and see more dogs.

They are as happy as I for California rain and shine.

Two more dogs go by, and soon I’m back to my work.

The women who pass me say,
“Recess is sacred”

I add: thank you for sharing your dogs 🐶