a soft focus

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~ The power that i seek is within myself and it seeks me now ~

How often do we transform ourselves in the fire of the forces surrounding us,
the forces that are shaping us everyday as we ask within and listen for an answer from that still small voice, “What is it that I really, really want?”

Besides loving and being loved, having sustenance: food, water, shelter, I think that each of us has a powerful and unique message that speaks directly to our hearts, and its okay to be different. It’s okay to be different and be among the same. Some voices may just say a simple and certain request, “peace.” For others need community, and differences of opinion, the excitement of discussion. Not everyone has exactly the same needs for human or animal or nature’s contact. I think that ought to be respected. I think this is what it means when we talk about compassion, it is about having the humanity to see the equality in all, while also allowing for the variance of what that equality looks like, without divisive judgements, and impositions. We live in an era where roles and designations are fading quickly, essential categories are in question for the past is rapidly disappearing without a trace in a world of technology and continuous innovation. We don’t just build from the past anymore, we forge the future within ourselves.

The beauty and capacity in people is astonishing to me as it is in this flower – a soft focus – a momentary glimpse of phase of life, and all are brilliant moments. Why seek to be in another stage of life from the one you are in? Relish where you are, exactly while you determine what that means, to be where you are now.

Sometimes it means, “Who needs a ‘what’s next’?” I’ll see it when I it arrives…that which I seek, seeks me now.

Falling in Love

falling in love is not something that happens just once,
it might start in seemingly personal ways, but it is endless and
expansive

my husband and i were out at a plant nursery, where we divided and
chased after our respective whims and I found myself

photographing,

and falling in love with this vine. Partly it was because it was fuzzy,
but mostly, it was the energy of the vine.

we will be celebrating our half-a-decade anniversary soon
(my husband and I, not me and the vine – but in some ways,
yes. that too.)

i’m already celebrating,

celebrating how this joyous experience is mostly everywhere, most
often, most of the time.

the same day, children were everywhere, it seemed
(no matter where we went)
playing musical instruments.

it was the day I really remembered how much I like to sing.
and a couple of days after a friend and study buddy listed from the top of her head,(unprompted) a list! of
her favorite poems from the book I wrote and published in 2017

Starting with, “Sing. out. 🙂 (: Sing in.” 

the falling in love just keeps going…
in this real live world, where non-attachment means
the certainty of connection.

As the Full Moon approaches, I am thanking the symbolism of Saturn: reliable, steadfast…

As I prepare for the Autumn, I know a re-newed focus awaits.

 

luminous

the luminous self
will reach you
without the capital
‘S’
it’s so non-specific ! that,

it’s specifically heard, pin-pointed, deeply felt,

observed, exactly as it is.
no emphasis needed

no mistaking when you are called directly,
and your attention is

full

of the grace
who knows you
intimately.

Ka Malana ©2018
Moon VOC -> in Scorpio to Sag.
Listening to dramatic music, that
not everyone might like…, and that
makes it even more delicious.

nothing to seek

There is nothing to seek
lest one seek the wind and
aim to put it in his pocket.

Goals come and go
and are fun, but each post
reveals its way to every
other, an endless string
of passers, passing by,
all marks of time –
in different, creative
pathways.

What about going nowhere
and seeking nothing?

Does it seem,
really,
all that dull
a world?

I think not.

Ka Malana ©2018

I will raise my voice

I will raise my voice
my voice inside myself
that will not be contained,
nor constrained.

I will rise within, first.

* * *

I will open my eyes
and see –
restoration will be given to this land;
its promises and potentials
shall be
recreated,
renewed.

I will grow a sanctuary, with this vision.

* * *

I will call out to each
and every child confused
about where his parent might
be, at a moment’s notice.

you are seen.
you are loved.

No more school shootings,
No more crazy-cruelty.

I will keep on living until I see a
better world, and that is my defiance.

We are not small, we who are in remembrance
and we who are witnessing…

Ka Malana ©2018

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Summer Solstice

Summer Solstice Chart

I’m liking the mystic rectangle and the grand trine in this chart. Go ahead and point it out if you’d like. I also enjoy seeing the transiting North Node in Leo conjoining Venus in Leo. I’m offering no interpretations at this time. I’m fresh out of that sort of offering. But I think a picture can be worth more, anyways.

Mercury is in Cancer, my natal Mercury’s home. I’m nearing my Mercury return. It is what you make it. I’m working on that in my own heart/chart, finding my heart, and strengthening it, every day. North Node in Leo, for me, is about finding courage – and that – I am certain of. How many cycles will I need to strengthen my natal Sun? I don’t know…, but I do know that I will keep finding my way in the dark, or in the light – it matters not.

 

coming from a small space.

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Stock photo

Exploring a perspective…

Our society doesn’t really enjoy smallness. When we refer to the ‘small,’ it’s often pejorative and the word is tied to phrases like “small-minded” and “playing small.” Smallness, the concept, is often coupled with ignorance, and not being a “major player,” which in our society, usually means ‘a bad thing.’ Granted, ignorance is not very well supported for good reason; maybe living in a world where everyday people are constantly trying to “learn” and constantly enrolling in classes has demonstrated an educational industry that has simply gotten out of hand. If you aren’t teaching these days, or running workshops, what are you doing?! The message is the same: everyone ought to be a leader, a teacher, a giver, a bestower of “the way”!

In our society, the paradigm is to aspire to be the inspirer of others (most influential!), taking big, bold actions demonstrating ‘great’ progress, demonstrating command of personal willpower, great personal fortitude, and a thick skin; meanwhile leaving room to express “vulnerability” in leadership which may or may not even feel vulnerable to the people divulging their “secrets.” After all, this is another ‘trained’ phenomenon. People are actually instructed to be vulnerable, to make themselves “real.” Each decade another set of instructions comes from research and leadership circles, and the advice trickles down to all, as each tries to become “more like” those instructions for success, the proven success. Then those who read those messages and repeat and disperse this information to their groups, ad infinitum – until maybe, maybe this news is old news. Maybe we need a new type of success – one that doesn’t look like all the other options available outside of us.

In essence, the message has been “be the best” – yet, even if you are being the best ‘you,’ how would anyone be able to recognize that? How would they even know what to look for? How could they offer support? That’s how different your success could look!

Nowadays the push is for each player to be the one who scores for the whole team – the shining star – the one who makes the biggest difference leading to the success for all. That’s still a level of shine that isn’t as shared as it could be! We value teams only in the sense that the teams occupy a great space due to the leader’s charisma, charm, and personal effectiveness: specifically if that leader is the coach. We want to point out one person to either blame or punish for success for failure.

It seems we value leaders above all, and there’s this underlying disdain for “the collective,” often relegated as “the unconscious” masses. We have to of course, “wake them up.” The entire concept of smallness in our society seems to relate back to a need for “protection” and “encouragement.” Everyone, it seems, should celebrate big gains in wisdom, intelligence, finances, etc. Progress should be unequivocally upward and regularly consistent, for all. Underlying these messages are some worthwhile intentions: we do want everyone to be happy. So, what does happiness real look like, though? Is it really the same for everyone?

Is there a possible different world, in which small places can hang out without being bull-dozed by the great and the awesome?

Are people allowed to simply “exist”?

When did we start attacking “existence” so strongly – all the while celebrating that existence in the non-human realms? I used to do fundraising for animal welfare groups, and many of the individuals I would talk to literally hated humans, above all.

Many of us love nature; we love how it exists. But if anyone actually tries to emulate nature, that individual will receive exactly zero praise. It might even be fought by the powers that be that apply pressure to this existing. This isn’t about praise however. This is about being allowed to live and let live, without the constant encouragement for self-disdain for being ‘normal’ or ‘regular’ and even gasp, “slow to grow.” Are we not giving enough, doing enough? Have we not changed the planet yet? How can this relentless pursuit to be big and grand, occupying as much space as possible physical or digital, while being uber productive, be the way to freedom and peace – for everyone?!

However there are a minority of quotes/adages that go something like this, “great is the enemy of good.” Each quote and concept needs some deconstruction.

I offer these thoughts merely as a reflection, realizing that this viewpoint that I am experimenting with is also temporary and transient.

 

My passion!

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Words.

for every time, i couldn’t word it, “it” slipped from me and word confined me and stifled me and “it-brush” didn’t have a problem with my choices. The brush, had texture, the brush had ears for every word I couldn’t translate from the other side of language, or what language? Or what symbol?

Artist.

—->Who I am.

not in my dna nor my Q&A (but there, too).
not in where I live and who I know
or all the pulses I’ve felt now.

it’s not in one piece of art that I make, but in all the art that i haven’t made yet.

or how vulnerable I make myself to the “strangers” who seem to want to talk to me wherever I go. even when quiet time may be most appropriate for me. I say hi and try to be as friendly and welcoming and open as possible.

the rhythm of the drum 🥁
The wildness in me who refuses to be scheduled by others.

the me that is happy to connect with people and Happy to close my shutters and say “me time, or close friend time, or family time.”

the selfless “i” who employs much time figuring out what would be best for others (and that I be myself. And how can I know that without asking. And that I sleep soundly. And that the ways of the world and the business of things will never confine my spirit).

my Spirit.

Ka Malana 🌅 2018

the painting is what it is. This piece I wrote felt more like spoken word. I hadn’t planned on posting daily to my blog, so I don’t know how long I will keep at this, but for now…

it is what it is

social media has been awkward. I started writing on this subject but still haven’t managed to communicate in a way that I can build on yet.

Oh – I forgot to add one of my favorite songs that came on while painting – here’s the live version!

RIP Mr. Bourdain

As many losses as we experience, as a people, so grows our courage and our ability to face what we face, each day – and when we find the resources, we want to share them, and so we do. Thank you for this post Venus Lotus. Sometimes we allow that sense of loss and confusion to help guide us back to remembering why we are here and how each and every one of us is worthy of peacefulness

Venus💎Lotus

“As you move through this life and this world, you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life — and travel — leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks — on your body or on your heart — are beautiful. Often, though, they hurt.” -Anthony Bourdain

SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources 

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Rose 🌹 tea & cats 🐈

Several years ago now, I started disseminating Tulsi tea to friends and family. I had forgotten about it, but then remembered. The tea is often combined with Rose 🌹 which I have been on quite the binge with since April, having recalled the love of rose – which brings me to earlier memories of my love with roses, sharing this love with my grandmother’s cat 🐈 named Meesh (probably was more my grandfather’s cat) who was left to the wild and visited when he wanted to (mostly because of me and the asthma I had when I was a child) thankfully hasn’t been a problem in years, but I still don’t have a cat 🐈. As far as the cat’s love for roses, there was an image hanging in their house (which was just sold) with Meesh (white cat) pictured smelling one of my grandmother’s red roses. I always absorbed that image, and it made me so happy. It’s still in my mind.

I might update this post about Tulsi, Rose, or cats, in more detail later, but I’m here today because I really wanted to share these rose images that stunned me on my walk yesterday.

Yes, I had with me only my smart phone but glad I did. Sometimes I want to be free of that, too! 😉

 

 

Dismantling Illusion

Here’s where I am in A Course of Love, Combined Volume: The Course, The Treatise, The Dialogues

I stopped high-lighting everything in this crazy blaring green color. (at least for now).

Here’s a favorite part in a Course that’s quite whole

“The sameness that this Course calls you to is not a sameness of body or of habit. It asks not for monks or clones. It asks not that you give up anything but illusion, which is the giving up of nothing.”

This makes me chuckle, and sounds like a good idea. Oneness and sameness without clone-ship and illusionary sacrifice. There’s a lot to digest here, not to mention all that came before – thankfully my mind is on the present moment.

Piscean Moon … 🌙

Journey of HEALING begins JUNE 6

Wanting to bring to your attention a blogger whose blog I’ve been participating in whatever capacity as I come and go for a couple years now, and wanting to support her in her journey of consistently and upwardly spiraling…. to be a consistent presence as she offers the same.

It is a joy to have a moment’s pause to share about her upcoming journey of healing for all are welcome. Often Susan’s journeys match the astrological “chemistry” as the journey of worth – 40 days – has ended. The Sun, Mercury, and Uranus by a greater energetic shift, has been bringing a lot of energy into the sign of Taurus, “Worth.”

Soon the journey of Healing is taking place/ “being supported” – you can read about it on her blog, along with the explanation for what her journeys do. I’m simply highlighting the astrological correspondence. By month’s end, we’ll have some planetary energy shifts Sun (21st) Mercury (13th) into the sign of Cancer and will be in opposition to Saturn in Capricorn. There’s lots of healing support as all move through it!

This can be a wonderful and gentle process as we are all moving ever more into our greater clarity!

SusanWithPearls

Journey of Healing is the fourth of 14 Journeys that comprise the upward spiral Journey of the Soul, reconnecting a person with their heart, soul, Inner Divine Self. Each of the 14 Journeys is a way to explore your relationship with yourself, through a particular aspect (the topic of each Journey). The Journey-sequence is designed with a two-prong approach: to deconstruct the obstacles and barriers that a person has to their relationship with their Inner Divine, while supporting and strengthening that relationship.

Individually, and collectively, the purpose of the Journeys is to shift the consciousness of all of humanity from a consciousness of separation to a consciousness of Oneness.

The cycle begins with Journey of the Heart, the home of the Divine Flame. We fan that spark, so that all subsequent Journeys are imbued with its light. Once centered in the heart, the second Journey explores purpose–the “why am…

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Who will Love this slug?

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Back when I was an aspiring photographer and taking a photography class in college – I went out at night with my special camera 📷 filled with 35mm film.

i was enchanted by this slug and so “framed” it in this thoughtful composition, as “going to the light.”

Little did I know, I was preparing a gift for my photography teacher who gasped, “I love slugs!”

Thanks for inspiring this post via comment conversation – Sue Dreamwalker!

We both know the power and mystery of animal medicine.

*this is a photograph of a photograph that I processed myself in the darkroom back in the day. There is no orange hue in the actual image. This was posted as such for the sake of expediency, ironically.

*more photos in the queue and I’ll be updating my cooking blog…. potentially.

Happy Day loves 💕🐌

Slug love

Recent Yod pointing to Saturn (the “slow”)