This winter I dreamed of what it would be like to have my little fireplace lit 🔥 in my kitty study 📚 while I read and fantasized about far-off places.
I originally made this study for my daughter who loves cats. I do too, but I’ve been allergic. Probably because I am part cat. 🐱
The little one put each little sticker on each little book.
Finally, here to enjoy!
Would anyone like to name our resident kitty?
Well, I held up as much as I could to still participate as much as I could this year. Sure, I might have blogged 10x in the month of November, but I definitely wouldn’t have blogged this 11th one 😉. One day I might even have some fiction in me, and I might even endeavor to write a novel. That could be fun. I could jump-start it with using a November month to brain storm.
I’ll save some more astrology for another post at another time. I still have comments to reply to from previous posts and people to visit who I miss. So, we shall see.
In my comments to dear Karin from Shamanismandhealing.com, (I might need to fix the link. Let me know in the comments) I mentioned what I am reading; I consider it to be the quintessential holiday book: “Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion,” by Gregory Boyle. I’m blown away and my heart has both exploded and imploded with the words on the pages. This is soul food. This is real purpose. This is the gift of a lifetime: this one precious human life.
For everyone for whom I am connected, I feel devoted. I feel loved and loving. Being brave enough to reach into our souls and pull out anything from a dove’s nest or pocket fuzz, worse, even rocks. Some might find roses. But to be able to reach is the gift. It’s not about what comes out. We need to empty ourselves and our lives have a way of turning us upside-down and jingling us and seeing what comes out. It seems that the riches and sweetness grow just as strong as the bitters and what is rotten festers without being able to ignore.
I feel so small in comparison to the world with which I am connected, but I feel wholly a part of it.
In two weeks I will be sitting in meditation with this soul-nourishing Buddhist group I met and will be attending a brief retreat on “this precious human life.” Honestly, folks, I don’t want to squander it. I’m doing the best I can. My soul is not quiet but it is loud and sometimes it even roars: NOW. There’s a feast in here. We are all sharing it with bravery. We are all so courageous.
I want to honor my fellow Cheer Peppers for reaching the end of Nano Poblano. Congratulations!!
Dinah, I’m really especially thinking of you and holding you in my heart.
May we all know more and more blessings and find our capacity to endure grow evermore as we share the love we have for one another, for all creatures big and small, for the air and the mountains, the rivers and the trees.
Mitákuye Oyás’iŋ
Gaia is a gift—
This mountain lake view
Our trust in each other,
The way we are true.
I see a vision that glimmers with hope
filling my peace 🕊️ cup
May you all feel the surrender to
what is
in the warm of love
and knowing of peace.
A gentle acceptance allows
everything to transform
and if it has not yet,
It isn’t time.
Soon comes openings
Soon comes faith
Soon comes opportunities
To dance more happily with chance.
I embrace this morning mist
This lake-filled holiday
This sun-kissed day.
Hot cider
Warm coffee
Espresso is clear.
Brisk steps and pleasantly swept to breakfast
and dinner feast is near.
There is an edge
I’m trying to soften around it,
but it won’t
relent, the me that observes it,
and so
i feel like melting, crying
to lay beside it as thin as possible
to disappear into it
this doesn’t much work
so I let it hang there as a border
I let it be
and I watch it’s ridge slice the air
into two distinct planes
I consider skiiing on it
to fling myself across its solid, icy precipice
It needs some light, I think,
some touch, some warmth
maybe just a file
I run my fingers across it,
and it doesn’t cut me.
This is a surprise.
So I find myself bringing my ear down to the
corner of time and space, this edge
and check to see
if it has a whisper.
it’s beckoning me to come closer
and to my confusion it says
“Follow… and
Keep going
even if it feels odd,
rough, or
wrong.
Trust the forward movement.”
Day 10 Nano Poblano
Yesterday i wrote about practicing and about imperfection and the perfection of imperfection. Then, today, I visited my new spiritual home at the Kadampa center, for probably the 6th week in a row or cumulatively, not sure.
We have been embarking on these perfections as a family. This is taught by the Buddha that the 6 perfections are:
Generosity,
Moral discipline/morality,
Patience,
Effort/Energy,
Wisdom,
Meditation,
All of these aspects are related to karma. Karma is an often misunderstood concept and topic. It’s really a cause and effect relationship rather than a “punishment” or “reward.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal spiritual journey and how it overlaps with my immediate family. My daughter is learning meditation and my husband and I met at a Buddhist meditation group over 13 years ago. We both practiced meditation before we met, with our own orientations and backgrounds.
In some ways, we are back on our paths. In some ways our paths overlap. And in other ways, we journey alone. The discussion and dharma talk always takes me exactly where I want to be: in the inquiry. I feel nourished my the inquiry and not clinging to feelings and impressions. I feel more like myself to gently embrace concepts and practice them as an investigation. In the meantime, I am accumulating some faith.
Faith is a word usually reserved for Christianity. I was originally brought up with many different forms of Christianity. Then when I was 21 I traveled East and received many different blessings from Indian and South East Asian traditions and explored them deeply with my heart. The cognitive aspects of the exploration have always been not as important, but they are still present. I have no desire to get super academic about my spirituality. I don’t ever wish to get saturated in dogma, but to remain inquisitive while building my own confidence in the fruits of my practice. My practice is for inner peace and to be an extension of that work in my world and in my life. It doesn’t matter how I get there, just that I am consistent and earnest in my endeavors.
Many bloggers are now over on Substack. I’ve joined just enough to comment on those blogs that I am able to read. It’s interesting to see the options that Substack is offering and I’m seeing more and more that there are people who are favoring connecting with their readers through that platform.
Imperfect perfection.
In April I completed a daily poem challenge. I wrote and posted a poem every single day for the month. It felt like a huge accomplishment and was also self-nourishing.
You know what else is self-nourishing? Doing this challenge with others and knowing I just don’t feel like being ON and doing this every day. It’s self-nourishing to be less committed to daily blogging and more committed to my positive thoughts.
So, I’m here.
I’m definitely here; and I also want to read a lot more and comment as I can. Being here and being with those other bloggers is what it’s all about.
Let’s all be perfectly imperfect!
For me, this looks like being intentional about joining, but NOT doing it in full. Doing it in full can come again when that is the challenge I really want to go for. I’m regularly involved in so many daily self-discipline practices, such as with a specific daily meditation, journaling (falling behind on that one), and physical disciplines of stretching, yoga and strength training.
My days aren’t perfect but I am perfecting every day.
How are you applying yourself every day?
Counting,
Making up,
Waking up,
Filling in the gaps
Unclogging the pipes
Replacing the breaks
Filling the cracks
The sun greets me with its shiny, sparkly allure
Come here morning: BE HERE NOW
I feel the warm sun like a soft oven hug
Embracing my body with its tiniest layer of sizzle
against the brisk of night, dim that had settled
Now
patches of light are bright, angling through the windows
The morning chill has me sitting still
In full meditation on the sensation of my breath.
It pulses visibly in the air
swirls and sculpts like a free spirit
This day is a catch up day, a catch-all day.
In my life.
A day in my life.
A day like no other.
I’ve never been more alive and well.
I don’t need circumstances to tell me
nor give me permission to,
to experience this vital, free, and full of
wonder
What happens ‘out there’ is not essential
today
What will happen next? …. Is not,
a concern, for me.
I’m prepared to write my story as I go.
There is nothing I need, and nothing to know.
I’m sitting in my universe’s seat watching
from above, while my avatar navigates
whatever needs navigating.
I’m full of tickle and temptation,
trust and empathy.
There is no basket for my eggs.
I rest in knowing that things are rarely what they seem.
I can feel the silence fall around my body
like a spacious cloak,
time grows and spreads under my brow
I can feel the fabric of life unfurl before
me and the distance is wrinkled so it’s really
up close.
I pause and stare at the crinkle and feel its softness created.
I touch it like my fingers are really butterfly feet.
I can touch time like opening with a key
and fully slip into its
spaciousness
and
resting
within it
I am the center
of the Universe’s flower: newly born
Every day we get through,
leads us closer to paradise
not oblivion.
This is a personal update. We just found out last night that we have to redo all the plumbing pipes in our 90 year old home we bought 2 years ago. This comes after non-stop flooding challenges that were related to the actual water and runoff problems from living in an area that is not used to rain, and getting atmospheric rivers and an abundance of water last season. That resulted in having to dig up and fix, in certain places reroute, the water flow from the existing French drains. The same year, this one, our dishwasher malfunctioned and created more water damage in our kitchen which led to the discovery of leaded countertops which led to a kitchen remodel, which is now halfway done.
Then, two days ago the toilet started bubbling.
This one year alone, 2024, has by far and wide been the most challenging of all years. There have been so many personal problems beyond these listed that are still so very private and multi factorial spanning multiple family members. It’s been a year of untold sorrow.
Yet there is still so much hope for an end to this non-stop saga of extreme adaptation.
Or, maybe the adaptation is the only key here. If there be no end, building resilience as far as I see it, is the only way. It’s the only way to move through it. That might not look entirely graceful, but sometimes the key is survival IS thrival.
Maybe that’s why I decided to join this challenge with NanoPoblano—but not really; I’ve had so many challenges that challenges and “getting out of the comfort zone” talk just sounds like BS to me. Not that any cheer peppers take that type of tone. They are a uniquely sincere bunch, living the best they can—not a lot of talk about living out of the comfort zone. Maybe they are working on it, too: still trying to create a comfort zone that never quite existed.
I choose to join OTHERS. I’m not alone. I know that life has been truly traumatizing for so many, mental health conditions are on the rise, and extreme weather and political unknowns have people on edge.
Here’s the thing though:
We are gonna get through this. All of it. Will we be a smidge wiser: YES.
Pause.
This is that fancy time of year when people are all getting together with their families to celebrate the holidays. I will get the gift of having my father come to visit for 2 weeks. That will require adaptation. However, I am so looking forward to seeing him and sharing this Thanksgiving holiday for the first time in so many years. He’s not really a big celebrator. He’s from the school of hard knocks and that’s also how I’m here.
Life is short. Having a roof over my head, sharing love, and knowing that I live in a sanitary environment with my family is good enough for me. Each day has been coming with its surprises. I’m grateful we caught this collapsing old pipes problem now before we had a bigger catastrophe. Sure it’s still a very costly problem, but at least it’s not worse.
That’s all I can say about everything that’s not great: at least it’s not worse. And for the first time, those words are more reassuring and comforting to me than any time they came before (or from someone’s else’s mouth).
Day 4
Life get sorted by calendars, schedules, holidays.
Each day we make meaning into neat little organized experiences.
With reflection and selection, we go even deeper into the richness we can cultivate.
Along the way, we make friends, hold hands with some, grieve, and share successes and milestones.
This is the bread and butter of life: light and darkness, living and dead, joys and sorrows.
My hope for each one of my friends and loved one is that both grow and glow.
You don’t need to be the brightest star in the night’s sky, nor the sun during the day.
Just be who you are, in all your colors, and let it out a bit more.
Day2 of Cheer Peppers 🌶️ Nano Poblano
I seem to have overdone it with all my travel this month with a trip to Mexico for energy working with colleagues and a trip to Los Angeles with TCM dermatology colleagues at a module 3 training. Now, I’m back for an annual conference and volunteered two days ago and my back hurts and I have a cold. 🤧. I love this season. I call this growing pains! Once I heal up I will be an expanded version of myself. Then I get to do some post-conference volunteering. But, for now, I’m streaming the beloved conference from home. What a modern luxury. To be both ‘here’ and ‘there.’ I also join with Cheer Peppers in November and my deeper celebration underlying it all is writing and art, sharing beauty and what catches my eye. I have plenty to glow about. How about you? I may live in the dark, but glowing is what we do. For that, I have no fear of darkness—only to embrace.
“We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life—those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength.” Oswald Chambers
Ancestors loved us into existence
They upheld their own struggles
with faith for the future, for their children,
and grandchildren.
I think we need faith to light the way,
See around dark corners that are
naturally obscured by the unknowns.
Faith naturally is not easy. It’s asking to believe before there is proof.
Superheroes don’t really exist like society
fixates on,
in frequent, Marvel movie releases
But there are superpowers. Among these
are Faith, Patience, Perseverence and
Kindness.
No one who came before us was perfect.
Their legacies were not necessarily influential, popular, nor epic.
But their love remains golden for me,
as soft whispering reminders that what’s
worth cultivating, can be cultivated.
Not that they exemplified these superpowers
in every way; but that their regular, human
strength was often good enough.
I think we can all be inspired by “good enough.”
🕯️
🔥
You existed, and you mattered;
and in me, you continue to exist, cultivating…
Persevering.
I joined Cheer Peppers 🌶️ for daily November blogging month just today. I’m not sure if I will post or read every day. It just felt good to join and be in community. So I am keeping it simple: one day at a time, and doing what feels good.
When love struggles
heart breaks.
echos from the past try to
flourish in new patterns
swirly emotional loudness
We do our best to
soften, gentle, ease
reminders that “never” is
really rarely ever,
true.
We did all our healing before
and somehow
there’s still more
Because life is more brilliant
than we know.
As any casualty will show
the angel points to your heart
asks you if you are
attentive to
what is not a circumstance,
is your reaction to one.
Breathe in the sounds of peace
as it’s your job to make it
be free: that mind.
measure your thoughts
against accuracy
and be obedient to your
soul’s acceptance
for love comes in forms
that marry us to the stars
forever hopeful
gazing,
And knowing
That whatever outcome may,
you gave all of your heart.
She said
“you poured all your heart into me.”
And she is right.
That is how beauty made you,
and will continue to.
As our world crumbles we
Must each take a stand
Strengthen our relationships
Build our reserves,
and lovingly band.
.
We are not alone if we find
And honor each other
So many of us in the face of these
extreme world changes,
including the weather
.
we just want peace together
.
What can we blame:
politicians, voters?
The messed up matrix
of the world stage deceivers?
Ruling oligarchs creating fear
and subjugation believers?
anarchists and nihilists
what is now an extremist?
misinformation, misdirection, missing
the shared purpose around what means
freedom.
.
Is it the new scenery
that Spaceship earth is
transiting?
A cosmic bad neighborhood
with bad vibes disastering?
.
I suggest this is part of our evolution.
This is a painful experience of dissolution.
The chaos before the clarity, the dusking before the dawning. But I don’t like it!
.
I suggest we don’t blame our hearts. I suggest we make peace with ourselves from the start.
I suggest we honor what’s thriving within us.
We turn our attention to our own dominion.
We strive for inner balance and communion.
.
The greatest defiance now is to fixate on, and to promote hope. While also maintaining the awareness of scope. What we believe matters, if not our energy will indeed fall a-scatter.
To see with clear eyes and to cling to what is right, loyal, true and what matters.
.
Keep your pulse on what makes you able to continue…get up, go on,
decide to thrive!
I didn’t plan on ending with such intensity. The muse took me here. The poem dissolved at times, too. The guidance for me is clear. I honor the muse and muses which helped me get 30 poems in/out this month—one poem per day.
Now there’s a processing moment, maybe many moments. Too soon to tell.
Write your hearts out. Write from you as you. No matter what you have to say, you are expressing in your own way. A poem is a kind vessel. The gentlest gift to give oneself. I am grateful for the ability to lift my own weight to share my heart, and all the further magick that shifts me into a new being, as I explore through my journey with life, while sharing the inspirations along the way.
Thank YOU for being here!
white feathery wings
Circle around above me
as I lift the last vestiges of
this recent tiredness storm
Invigorated by some
extra clearing required and
the work done around it
starting to sparkle now.
released a lot of
past life dross, broken dreams
and abrupt endings
met in stampede to realize
now that being “seen”
is okay, and even better living
free, unlocking another level
not being crumpled by hoards
overcoming my nothingness
Moving now with restoration
Slow and steady with
Gathering strength, my pancaked form
upright and three-dimensional
waiting on that next rotational
Spiral up the Mountain View
To see above it
And find ever-more that something new.
I cannot believe I made it this far! I thought I would sputter out at 3 poems in and then be spotty the whole way through. The heavy lifting really started to come for me at the last 5 day mark. I think the prospects of actually accomplishing my goal without a whole lot of struggle was blowing my mind too much, so that part of me that needed to raise its own new bar, came in and faced some fears and moved through them. Life is like that. It’s really about unlocking new levels. Tomorrow is my last day for daily poems. I have mixed feelings about that, but I’m running with it, accepting the mixed feelings and being kind to myself.
Her hands
are little five-pointed stars
that used to fit 5 of them
in my
ONE hand
.
Her fingers,
would curl
around my finger
.
First by reflex
and now, even still
nearly 5 years later,
a little squeeze.
.
Every star ⭐️ would wish
to be the twinkle in her eyes,
the raised corners of
her mouth like red
curtains pulled open for
stage performance,
.
her smile corners
tied in little golden
boughs of excitement
when she makes a silly
joke,
.
understanding irony
beyond her years,
beyond time-limits.
.
She recites from her
memory, so vivid and
sparkling,
.
a crystal clear starfish memory
suctioning to knowledge
understanding,
and application.
.
Her Kee Ma Jaseh
developing into
deeper knee bends,
receiving high 5’s,
counting down from 5,
counting to 100,
5-Times
mathing, reading, sighting,
singing
.
cartwheels 🤸
another star ⭐️
5 points,
1 head, 2 legs, and 2 arms.
.
This star will never be alone,
shining on her friends.
with karate developing
in her hands,
her heart:
.
And with an Open, Golden, Bright mind.
⭐️🤸✋🏻💗🧠🧐💪🤸⭐️
Fiesta Estrellas 
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