I want to find the wave form in all the particles
to know the linkage pattern in my own hero’s journey
when traveling, I trip on yarn wads left from my chaotic moments
Trying to salvage them for use to make a bridge of yarn 🧶
Or tie together the endless “loose ends”
Always looking at the wreckage as a mess
Rather than a treasure to unwind uncover unmask
Here in the center of my heart
All threads lead
I know home, but not how I got here.
Even though I am home; I am lost.
Fiesta Estrellas 
Lovely verse Ka. Thanks for being vulnerable. I don’t know if this reflects your current feelings, but I can relate to the feelings of trying to fix the mess. Thankfully, I spend more time simply being and/ or loving and accepting myself as I am.
Thank you, Brad. I appreciate you recognizing this tenderness in my poetic share. I look at life as more of a poem than an examination, but the examination and reflection is part of it. Acceptance was my key word this morning. Spending time ‘being’ is all we can hope for. Acceptance of my mess is part of my process—even, sharing it. Holding it into the light. Much love your way…. 💗
Beautiful! I love that thought of finding the wave among all the particles. There’s so many ways of looking at ourselves and life. And that’s the crux of it, it is so messy when trying to untangle. Sometimes I think of it as looking at this beautiful tapestry, so lovely on one side, but when you turn it over and see what all went into the making, it looks like a chaotic mess. Both are there somehow. Both are needed to make the whole. It can’t be untangled without losing what we love. As much as I would like to undo it and start over again sometimes.
I’ve been meditating on your tapestry metaphor. A lot of times people will say that at some future time I will see how my life and experiences were all woven together to lead up to the point at where I am. My sense of lost here is not a sad feeling, it’s the feeling of awareness that I’m still in the thick of the forest, making my way through the jungle—just occurred to me that it’s more like I’ve needed to wield a machete! Or, maybe that’s just my metaphor for today. I absolutely love your thoughts in response to my writing. I am curious about your last line “it can’t be untangled without losing what we love” and that gives me the significance of your beauty in these words. Untangling could damage the goods! Brilliant. It’ll let that swirl for a little while. 💗
Your poem is very beautiful and tender to feel as I read. You expressed it all very beautifully, the loose ends, the chaotic mess, the feeling of never ever being able to get done tidying up – yet we are really home if we allow it all to become a soft blanket to rest under. Reminds me of a poem I wrote some years ago that said something like – So close to home and yet lost around the corner. Just the willingness to enter the home alone with a feeling of whole and full acceptance, and yet we have this yearning to do a bit more and lot more.
The never done tidying up is like with cooking (and with toddler and spouse 😉). We need to eat, and so we prepare and get out all our ingredients. Then we do the mixing and make lots of dirty bowls and spoons. By the time we finish baking, we are ready for a rest—but instead clean up all the dishes. Then maybe we’ve even worked up another appetite for something else delightful to make and share! 😂 Yes, yes! The beauty of a poem is that what is underneath it is so many more words to “explain” but there’s no explaining that can be done. The poem somehow “says it all” in its touches. The poem and writing poetry for me feels like that soft blanket I can rest under. Then you share your words from your poem “So close to home and yet lost around the corner. Just the willingness to enter the home alone with a feeling of whole and full acceptance, and yet we have this yearning to do a bit more and lot more.” Home here has its fresh meaning as the temple of the spirit, which is also present in this poem. “I am home.” Which is true. I am. I am always with me. But in this particular human life—my journey is still rapidly unfolding and following all those threads that come into my life as abundance, and/or challenge can make me feel lost at times. It is the yearning to do a bit more and a lot more which has me feeling “not home.” Because I’m am an endless explorer while being even more aware of the “tracks” I’ve made but also the lines of thought I want to continue, and the people I want to continue reaching out to. Thank you, Pragalbha!! 💗💗💗
Happy Lunar New Year 🧧
May your day be fun!
Yes, yes, yes. I am with you, I hear you my friend. We are never going to be done here and the likes of us, who are so aware of the possibilities, we are not meant to be satisfied. Maybe it is all good to be lost, as we are forever finding and reaching. Indeed it is like the kitchen you describe 🙂 There is always the next appetite. Here’s to finding all that with as much ease and joy. Poetry indeed is like that soft blanket that helps us express with comfort. Happy New Year of the Tiger!! Lets’ keep going bravely!
I have a “mess” of thoughts in response to this thought-provoking poem. I mean that in a good way. 🙂 May we enjoy the threads and meses as we find our way.
Your response to my poem gave me a lovely giggle. I know what you mean. I truly enjoy that this poem was thought-provoking for you! I’m 100% with you in the enjoyment… may we continue to enjoy this mess while we find our way 💗
Thank you!
❤