Love your wounds while nursing your spirit

On June 17, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn Creative Writing, Creatrix, Transformation10 Comments

OUch! I hurt here.

Where?

Right in my…. I don’t know where…

Is that a place?

Can you fix a spot that, that I can’t SEE – but feel?

Some of you know that I am enrolled in a Traditional Chinese Medical program. I’ve only just begun! Many of us are there because we have been wounded, we have aches and pains or chronic illnesses. We’ve been touched by them in some way – some aspect of life as “gotten us,” or a loved one, and we grieved so deeply – deeply enough to realize that there’s a way to work with pain by helping to direct it, through acupuncture, massage, etc.. and, so we’ve enlisted ourselves in this awesome task of learning how to help people with what ails them. It’s ambitious and scary, and also, delightfully interesting. It’s also about holding hands – touching – and being touched.

There are some students – and I’ve spoken to quite a few – who want to learn more about the services they will be offering their patients once they graduate, but they don’t have any reason to go for a visit at our clinic.

I, on the other hand, have been able to find *so many things* to work with! I feel so blessed, so fortunate, so unequivocally involved in the process! I celebrate it – in the process, I have met so many amazing internists, and every visit, I *know* I am at home. This is it! I found my spot! 🙂 Not to mention, I get to be a participant-observer. This is one of my philosophical view-points I developed through my anthropological studies, or one aspect of anthropology that made it uniquely anthropology… and not another discipline.

Love is your wounded-ness. You need a heart to break. It’s okay. Half the time we don’t even realize how broken we are, even if we thought we were pretty banged-up. The inverse is also true, we may be a lot healthier than we ever realized 🙂 Either way, we are all in it together. And, we are all caught in combat – fighting a battle inside us, that no one knows about. Because how could they? They are not you. Words do not suffice. This is life. We live in peace, knowing that to *feel* is to *be* alive.

Sometimes we hold stories because, we love… and sometimes, that is the very essence of our pain. And, sometimes, that pain can be transformed from a story… into a healing…

More to come, perhaps, Summer Solstice Chart…maybe a poem…still on 40-day consciousness journey of fulfillment.

To have peace of mind is to empty

On June 12, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn Creative Writing, Creatrix, Meditation4 Comments

To have peace of mind is to empty

Mind completely

Like overturning your purse

Stuff might plop out,

Not all neatly one by one, in single file.

That’s not what this work is about.

It is about digging deep into

the purpose.

What’s behind the cobwebs’ shadow?

From where did your first thought emerge?

There’s no voice in the empty mind,

It is a silent angel of energy neatly settled

In your womb.

From here everything learns to whisper.

Ka Malana© 6.12.14

It’s the little things

On May 26, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn Abundant Earth, Creative Writing, Creatrix7 Comments

At the moment, I’m just resting on my couch thinking about all that I have on my “to do” list. I’m entertained by my thought process – the attempts of entering thoughts to get me all worked up into a state of mental busyness, rather than savoring the present moment, and the birds chirping outside. The atmosphere of the natural world speaks louder, and I listen.

I listen for nothing in particular. I experience peace.

I realize that everything on my “to do” list is there because I want it to be there, because I am happy to be alive, and happy to be living my life as I choose. Now, I am experiencing gratitude. I feel grateful for every ‘now’ moment that has led to today, and for every ‘now’ moment that will help me get things done – all in the spirit of the birds.

Oh, let me sing my song!

Let me receive thy message.

For what exists is neither here

Nor there, this nor that, up nor down.

For every tweet there is a song

For every song there is a twitter,

For what I cannot say with words

I mean the most.

Oh, let me sing my song & hear yours, too!

(Photographer: Unknown)

This heart was built for you to be who you are

On May 14, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn Creative Writing, Creatrix4 Comments

Let it open and close, and

Allow the blood to flow.

Let me choose Love

While this physiology does

What it does.

For I have no control about the breath.

Ultimately, it breathes for me;

Ultimately, I am grateful

For nature’s nurturing, and for

For Rivers that don’t need anyone’s

Pushing.

For mountains that do not require

Mankind’s hands to pile up the earth, nor

Organize themselves unto this mission.

For Sun, the Moon, and all the planetary transits

The mighty clock of heaven knows that

Greater places exist beyond us, while coming from

Within Us –

emanations from a cosmic heart beat.

For I know, Existence, you are

Holding my life in your hands.

Poem for Monday

On May 12, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn Creative Writing, Creatrix4 Comments

Connecting without words

Beyond ideas and places

I am with you.

When you are lonely and

Feeling Cut Up

Into a million pieces

I will bring my sewing kit and

Join together all the ragged edges.

(written by Ka Malana)

Whisper of Whispers

On April 6, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn Creative Writing, Creatrix2 Comments

To my beloved:

The Wind of seasons,

And the season of winds carry

Whispers between

The leaves shake with titillation.

I see the Sufis, and They-see

How Mother Nature’s curves

Are made of both

Light and dark essences,

Surrounding a

Punctuated Center.

The experience of watching them swirl and

Transform,

so fast it can be dizzying

And delighting all at once,

But, no matter.

The center is the point of

All things.Whose origin is seamless.

So vast that wind cannot penetrate it.

The beloveds are at home

Saturated in the

Nectar of primordial Authenticity.

Enveloped as the whisper of whispers,

The entirety of near-silence,

The edge of All Beginnings.

Music in space: Nurai Lita, Kafez, Buddha Chillout Lounge

The Sound of Crickets, Hafiz, and the Moon

On March 14, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn Creative Writing, Creatrix11 Comments

Lately, we’ve had the pleasure of hosting a most lovely cricket. For me, the presence of a cricket (inside my house) and right next to me on the couch, is usually a sign. Yes, this has happened to me before, but not exactly in the same way. I have no idea how he got inside, but I did coax him out. I want him to live!

The night he was singing the loudest, I was writing, and I needed the support. I was reaching within myself for my inner voice, feeling for it, digging deep, and really just trying to use words evenly. Crickets are special. This cricket may even be my ancestor.

In China, people have been known to keep crickets as pets.

Watercolor by Qi Baishi (1864–1957)

This morning I awoke at 4:30am. My body/mind/spirit wants to move deeper into my spiritual practice. I received the message that this is what I am going to be doing now. I’ve been nudged. Now it’s up to me to “go with it.” By 5:00am, I decided to go for a walk, and it was a little bit on the chilly side. Yes, I live in sunny California, so when it’s dark – I get sensitive to the cold.

I turned to head back home, and there it was: the brilliant, large, glowing moon. I felt like I could walk to it… and maybe even hug it.

Full moon photo via Lee Capps. http://earthsky.org/space/video-the-moon-illusion

Also, this morning, I opened a box of special books that were in storage (I was looking for the Secret of the Golden Flower), and I found this poem by Hafiz, that I’d like to share with you:

I Took It as a Sign

Someone sent a band to my house,

And it started playing

At five in the morning.

I took this as a sign

God wanted me to sing!

Then the moon joined in

And a few of the tenor-voiced stars,

And the earth offered its lovely belly

As a drum.

Before I knew it,

I realized

All human beings could be happy

If they just had a few music lessons

From a Sweet Old Maestro

Like Hafiz

The future is the bright light in our hearts

On March 4, 2014August 18, 2015 By Ka Malana - Fiestaestrellas.comIn About Me, Creative Writing, CreatrixLeave a comment

Today is a special day. It’s March 4th. I’m not going to write about astrology right now, but about the sentence, “March forth.” Sure, there’s something astrological about that, but I just want to talk about the energy surrounding it. On March 4th, today, is a very special opportunity to keep moving forward to the dream, the vision. Inside our hearts is the key to everything–our faith–is paramount. Today, I encourage you to find that unshakeable strength you had the moment you were born. Find that inspiration where all other inspirations come from. Find that place inside your heart that knows, silently. That knows. This is ‘how’ to March 4th. Once you’ve found it, honor it. Love it deeply. It is your precious heart.

sculpture by Paige Bradley http://paigebradley.com/