Choice

from the moment I saw

the love was available

I took a step forward

and put my whole self in

this wasn’t twister or the Hokey Pokey

This was trust,

divine timing—

and faith

I chose to be transformed by fire

I chose to be a witness to your growth

and by that choice, I too, have developed.

Whenever the opportunity developes

I’ll make the same choice again and again.

My life is lived by fire

I choose fire to transform

That’s why it’s always different

Each same choice looks like a different choice

But it never is

And it always is

Something new.

I walk with fire 🔥 I blaze in its path.

I, too, am Fire.

Lost nerve

my guitar friend

always met me after coffee

before coffee,

at age 16.

.

the problem set in

when left

and right hand

could not, would not, collaborate.

.

left hand was strong and worked

on steel strings to build callouses

while right hand got confused at the elbow, and didn’t understand heights.

.

right hand wanted to finger-pick

strum, but left hand wanted the sound of

the triangle-pick, rhythm-glides

.

both wanted to be smooth, easy,

effortless.

.

the voice was gonna unify each, because that’s where the joy is.

.

until the boyfriend kept borrowing that guitar from the dorm room.

.

but, not to collaborate.

.

no more coffee before or after, long pauses persisted barring inspiration. Voice lost, first. Then, hands lost vision.

.

whose guitar is it? whose voice lay silent? did guitar like new hands?

.

lost notebook. now no words—no longer writing themselves.

.

feeling sad,

left hand persisted with using scales

right hand clung to the only ditties it knew, fear of

not meeting the man

can’t impress him, he’s taken our guitar now.

.

not to collaborate

.

no longer playing, left and right hand don’t engage at all.

.

a cigarette fills the idle hands with its poison.

inner voice blackens with the lungs,

and the nerve to play, hangs inert.

.

maybe meet guitar again,

one day, in a new city, with

healthy vibes and broccoli breaks?

.

smiles and synergy is more like it

.

hands reach for new collaborations,

for times

when left and right coordinate, and the voice that overlays unifies with thrills.

.

right can anticipate left’s transitions and synchronize in professional, musical peace.

.

hands are meant to work together and voice will lead the way. The voice and hands connect directly to the heart.

.

there’s nothing left to say.

Ka Malana Photography
Artist unknown – “Guitar Wallpaper, Black”

Oleander

the earth pulsates

around your poison;

vessel of dogbane,

mistakenly lured by you.

an example of

misdirection.

bombs choked Hiroshima

like your white touch obliterated

the promise of love.

lust woos in silences, pretenses

nearly touched the poison

bringing broken limps into the abyss

exposing the veins of

imbalance, impotence,

flagrant misuse of power.

Habitual Adjustments: Virgo New Moon

This New Moon might feel a bit awkward. The reason is that it’s looking like an interesting aspect pattern, forming what is known and called a “Yod.” It’s like an isosceles triangle with two quincunx/inconjunction 150 degree “legs,” separated from 60 degree sextile aspect between (in this case) Neptune/Saturn conjunction, with a harmonious aspect to Pluto; but, both of those legs 🦵 form an inconjunction to this New Moon at 0 degrees of Virgo. ♍️ In essence, it looks like a skinny slice of pizza 🍕 with the center point landed right on the tip at the New Moon in the mutable sign of Virgo at ground zero.

It’s considered to be awkward because the energies flowing from the Saturn/Neptune (dreams and idealism vs reality and limitations) meanwhile colliding with each other, and the awkward Uranus in Pluto in Aquarius — novel ways for human evolution—both point to the New Moon in Virgo in aspect pattern referred to as “finger of God.” It’s a finger of God because it means this is the MAIN POINT a “fulcrum” for making the biggest adjustments needed to harmonize the celestial energies. Fulcrum is moreso a metaphor here but the “gears” can be perceived with that mind’s eye, 👁️ making the experience mutable or movable.

The point-blank interpretation here is that it’s time for new habits for the mind and body. In order to really “step into” of the ideal state/dream (Neptune) in a sustainable way (Saturn) thus making the dream real (as opposed to the nightmare) and therefore bring in a transformed humanity worth its salt (Aquarius in Pluto), the consciousness needs to focus on the mutable sign of Virgo and set new patterns and habits of mind and body—and make that new health a part of its regular, daily work.

For me, it’s just been hard to write about this New Moon, or quite frankly to find the time to compose the thoughts and express the patterns. I’ve been a bit busy.

Throughout, I’ve been reading an excellent book called: The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain, by Annie Murphy Paul. I brought it with me on the plane and am reveling in the scientific support for why our brains do better with movement, how using the insular lobe to improve interoception makes us better at pattern recognition and performance in even the stock market and trading; and overall, we are more efficient when not working from the paradigm of brain centrism. Ironically I think I just lost the book tonight. I’m in a hotel and preparing to rest now for a very rigorous day tomorrow, joining my colleagues for another milestone in our careers.

So, this will be a brief message, and has been a brief, albeit more than one bite-sized message, so far!

Suffice it to say, we are too early in the Virgo season with all eclipses set up for next month. This new moon is at 0 degree Virgo. The word on the Astro Street is that so much newness is at the forefront. But I think you GOT THAT. With all the major planets changing signs this year and the world coming apart at the seams in a grand “take apart.”

What can this particular New Moon mean for you?

Free your mind from any mental constructions that are forcing your mental-hand to re-volunteer to suffer again and again, non-stop. I’m reminded of Joe Dispenza’s book and body of work around “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.”

What ways have you over-identified with suffering and gotten your brain chemistry to be too familiar with the recipe for enacting the habit and “install suffering program,” press “repeat,” “repeat”?

Wishing you all a “good enough” new moon and hoping you decide to shed any perfectionist tendencies and fears for undotted “i’s” and uncrossed “t’s” for the duration of the celestial show, and maybe even a little bit longer than that.

I might come back and edit this post after I’ve emptied my brain of much deep and deliberate study, full-on with my fellow friends as we walk unified yet individually. In the meantime, keep afloat, keep afloat. I will never give up on your dreams. Why should I give up on yours or mine? Plus, I will never forget our shared heart! ♥️

With love and compassion and a really strong appreciation for all your efforts and your presence in this life, and for reading this post that was so hard to write! Yikes!

Be well, be well.

Home

i want to meet you in the

holy now

.

Rumi and Kabir

arranged their calendars

around the beating heart of time

Kali bespoke the destruction of limitations

.

I wiped my hard drive

tore the clutter from the cloud

and dusted under heaven

.

I dug out all the roots of that invasive

horsetail grass, a true medicine in

other contexts

.

i threw out context

.

i settled on this flower

and that flower,

.

and the flowering of you.

.

just to meet you.

☀️ 🌙

Presence

Venus returns

living without a body

may be the real body

.

actuated/destroyed

.

all is contained in the one,

who is already open

.

unboxed.

eye of ra

crescent moon 🌙

.

goddess’s breath: kinetic

.

shakti-love steers conception,

spinning the multitude of

galaxies sunder —

like cotton candy confections

each one is divided just for you to taste and describe anew.

.

her breath

set into motion,

opens the door.

.

furnishing evidence for creation,

another offer springs up

with fragrant flowers at your feet.

.

step into this ‘other’ dimension

through rebirth,

an unadulterated heaven.

.

the gateway swirls with fortitude

sewn into the fabric of dark matter,

‘behold your sacred name’

.

her galaxy’s rotational curves

are the mere eyelash-bats

of her curiosity,

a nod to wonder in a tryst of passion

.

mind’s vacated,

cavernous function

echoes grace

.

one swing of her stellar tresses

provides the light for an eternity.

.

a blink of quantum

a pinch of akash

sparkling petticoat of richness and splendor

.

her magickal presence expanding,

demonstrating, in full opulence ~

the

.

pure generosity of her touch.

⭐️

Today I shrunk 

sliced down my mass

slipped into the cracks of the floor boards and

leaned into gravity like a cannonball, but bodiless.

slumped into empty breath 

reorganized as microscopic, slippery, weightless, ether

waif of glitter

fleck of dust 

leveling with dirt, I touched space around me like 

the cushion it is, 

like the softness that any regular nothingness adjusts to,

touching itself to its oceans of surrounding twin copies

.

I felt soft and full;

and from this view,

clarity arose like the shining star

of awareness.

The body holds a prayer

Today my body has

a different prayer.

its posture is the same

its form looks consistent,

but this stem of me

is rooted

into the Earth

in a new way.

.

With roots like tentacles

that gyrate when the earth shakes,

managing impact,

adapting to terrain,

lock-step in reconfiguration. 

This is a different WAY

of holding form.

.

In her gentle vibrance,

she’s singing quietly, a hum

mmm from the glint of luminous

emanations,

the near-silence sheens flow

across the ringed-edge of activated

chimes.

Here vibrance meets vibration

in one cyclic, metallic, elemental breath

.

This breath is a request, the body a prayer

.

It is full of trust and knowing;

spacious gratitude meets patient

availability.

the vessel now is in

its holding power

knowing that she can sing for eons

.

just like this,

.

in this pose

.

in this posture

.

in this form

.

as a new prayer.

.

Singing from cavernous connection

with the Mother of all.

.

😮‍💨😌

Summer Solstice

Someone convinced me to start recording YouTube videos. I have been reluctant to do this for years, but since I just finished up my last group class around reluctant shamanism, it’s time for me to also share my recent video here:

Everyone knows me as “Ka” that is my real name. Ka is resonant for me. All other names aren’t really as resonant for me. I received the name “Ka” in Hawaii back in 2011. Then I published my first book under my first spiritual name “Ka Malana.” Since then I have acquired: “Sees through water” and “Dechen Llamo.” Shamanic and Buddhist names respectively. It’s just a part of my magickal life!

Anyways a friend and coach convinced me that I needed to make my voice heard, because people need to hear it.

It’s taken decades for me to be convinced of this and so I basically just gave up the fight. I don’t need to believe it; I’m just doing it, instead.

The whole purpose of my life is basically to “reach” people. I’ve been doing it since being a child— offering those select, appropriate words to help catalyze another to their next level, or to lend compassion and support.

So I stepped out and started this channel, and I make weekly videos with zero preparation. I do this to just “get it done.” I have no idea what I will talk about until after it’s said.

This one happened to be about the summer solstice. My images aren’t self-flattering because I have put zero energy in to making them look pretty, so I hope ya’ll can get past that! Maybe they will get better as I go, because I sure am not gonna be “ready” first.

Happy Summer Solstice!

Leave a comment and let me know what you think. I love feedback. Just say “hey” and let me know you were there and are part of my beginnings 😃

May your light ☀️ shine bright like the sun, and you be full of vitality and love!

Happy Summer Solstice!

WIP …

i could

summon you,

but you are already here

you’ve been in my shadow

clinging to my insides

waiting for my consciousness

to ripen

waiting for my signal to open up

our shared eye

with you,

all our ancient promises arise

like shoots of green tendrils

ready to break through the land

and renew our promises

for a new

peace

Opening

Now this one was satisfying. One of the reasons is I took one of my favorite “for kids” supplies and I stretched it beyond its ‘given’ capacity. I mixed it with grown up tools and water and boom 💥

This one also has “legs” which to me means: some mysterious life of its own.

I dedicate this one to Vipassana and all the learnings gained from sensational awareness as the object of meditation.

A retreat for being real simple

This dog.
Always a light
Pelican’s eye view
Amplifying
Heart’s acknowledgement
Lion 🦁 outside
The kindness of a gentle teacher
Chair of contemplation

The winds of mind calm

down, while

pelicans of light pass through

sweeping the air

with their flight

our

freedom is grounded and spacious

descending

through flesh and mind

a resplendent higher vision

I feel you in my soul

hugging me

intimate with me

knowing me from all my lifetimes

Struggle vs. Challenge

Gorillas 🦍

I did this pretty quick sketch and I struggled throughout it. But! The whole time I’m thinking to myself: you are listening in during a meeting with a topic that is also challenging, and you are making it work! You are doing the repetitions. The outcome is not the point. The outcome is never the point.

You just go with it. You share.

This is what you couldn’t do when you were younger; when you didn’t know it was okay to be you, AS YOU ARE.

What I did was use a random animal generator online. I wanted to have an animal to work with that was spontaneous and that would make it even more of a challenge.

I could worry about the end product and fix whatever is wrong or could be improved upon, or I can just try again tomorrow with another spontaneous challenge.

What can you do to help yourself stay on the move? If you can stop being so critical and just let go…. What would you do?

Give me some feedback about the emotion here. I’m curious about the energy. Please do share!

Prosperity and Flow

This is one of my two posts for the next week or so, unless poetry is spontaneous. Next week I will be with Joe Dispenza in Los Angeles, meditating. The group session was rescheduled when the fires were raging. Still much healing work to be done in Los Angeles: The City of Angels!

I’ve been working with a local group on prosperity consciousness. We are having fun. This is the first time I’ve actually collaged as I usually manifested my dreams by other means! It’s just fun to be with a group of such heart-centered individuals. I am also and have been studying with Rosemary Gladstar and her very long term students. John Finch will be 80 this year, and Jane Richmond his life partner, both LEO suns like me, have an herb school called, “Self Healing School.” I have been trained for over a decade now in Chinese Herbal Medicine, but I wanted to be closer friends with my local group and so I signed up for their prosperity class. Tonight will be the 3 week of 6. They have spent their decades specializing in Western Herbal Medicine and back in the 70s when Rosemary Gladstar was on this coast, studied at her California Herb School on the Russian River in Northern California. I have a natural affinity with their vibes. They are so heart centered, and basically I just like to hang out at their house and be creative, spiritual, and inspired with them!

You might have guessed, I am a member of so many groups. I am. One day I dream that when I’m ready to really start moving forward with my own offerings, I’ll attract the tribe who want to be by side. As I have too often signed up for others’ groups because of the love of being with them and meeting whomever shows up and being in the synergy.

I’m doing something vulnerable here. I’m actually sharing my INCOMPLETE dream boards. I’m not stressing over details, I’m just having fun as my focus and going with the flow. It’s not DONE ✔️ and I reserve the right to change any and all of it at my whim! All artists understand this. ✨⭐️✨⭐️✨

Plus, I never have to explain myself unless it’s truly necessary. Haha.

So without further ado:

Earthy luxury and sensuous dynamic environments

I’m working on the “right space” for newer visions of workspace AND for the right colleagues to be able to SYNERGIZE so that my own work also grows. Yes I envision some “high end” stuff. So be it. Don’t judge me. I am all about everybody so I plan to have several ways to contribute to the whole and not be exclusive but I need to generate revenue and I’m already highly qualified. I know people generating revenue with much less investment and training that I have invested in. So, it’s more than possible. Oh no! I’m explaining myself. Haha.

Peaceful rejuvenation in a natural environment

And here is my gentle peace:

White space is nurtured as the unsung becoming will end up filling

I’m planning on posting around the time or “in the energy of” the Joe Dispenza meditation group collective.

We are here, all of us, to shift things Spiritually, Materially, and Soufully for the whole. Not one of us can remain behind. Clean and clear your inner Easel! Get your hands dirty in the soil and with the Earth and breathe deep like you deserve to be here. Your body deserves to be well and your mind deserves to be FREE.

We can do this all responsibly…

And with integrity…

And so it is and So mote it Be!

I just got hold of some new organizational tools which will hopefully help. Less “talking” more “doing” and “being.”

I still plan to visit your blogs, your heart’s expressions, your beautiful dreams: May they grow with each day! The pull into satisfaction. Nothing to change, just to accept and be and dream if you desire it, and drop it if you don’t. Be real, be authentic and show up or take time out. It’s all just about YOU, inside you! 🥰🩷

I’m here for you. You are here for me! We are all in this together!

Inspiration 🌱

This morning I wanted to ride the upcoming Piscean wave 🌊 out loud. I’m about to jump on a call with my colleagues for a study session for our continuing deep dive education. This year 2025 is a year of culmination for me. It’s a 9 year so that’s fitting, but numerology aside, it felt like 2024 had too much in it and left undone as certain milestones are set to be complete this year and into the beginning of the next, just one or two left over to finish.

Eventually I will be opening up my energy work to everyone, far and wide. This includes offerings for those here and those who join later. I am not just practicing Reiki but another form of energy medicine I have been training in for the past year called Entheos Energy Medicine. It’s a fusion of all the stuff I was doing before on my own but also with the solid foundation provided by my teacher, Briana Borten, who has put it all together within all that she has trained in for over 20 years. She gives me a glimpse of what it would look like when I start fusing this all and providing it to others in a format. I’m about to begin year 2 while I finish working on year 1 of her Spirit Medicine Academy.

Meanwhile I am an apprentice in the Shamanic Medicine Woman Studies and my teacher plants 🌱 are my highest formal guides within the work. I practice and work many energy sessions per week in addition to my acupuncture and herbalism work. So much is already fusing together. I made some herbal oils and some lip balm.

In the meantime, I make the smallest effort to return to painting. 🖼️ I figure small effort is better than no effort, considering in all the stuff I am already managing ( I didn’t even share the half of it), I’m feeling blessed enough to get moving with sharing some visuals:

Mountainous inspiration

For me the unfinished white of a canvas as something I was trained NOT TO DO. Therefore, I suppose I can’t help it. That white feels deeply satisfying to me and gives me room to breathe. This mountain from my mind reminds me of an oil painting I did when I was 16 of a location I visited when I was 15 in Ireland. They look different but there’s something similar there, which got me to thinking: we are always “adding up” on top of what we’ve done before.

My father in law said the wise words I will never forget: “Learning is cumulative.” I think each part of each thing I do touches each part of everything else that I do. This is holism.

Something emerging

This morning, as I’m about to jump on a call to study skin conditions with my colleagues as we prepare for our next big exams coming up this year, I thought… you want to just make some swirly marks this morning. And so I did. It’s like calling in the snake 🐍 energy I enjoy working with.

Finally since and only since I brought it up: I’m gonna share two pictures of my herbals and then get to work (other work).

I was laughing with my husband and saying “I am always working.” Regardless if I bring in any money, I’m always increasing my “worth.”

We live in weird society and things are rapidly changing. Who knows what to rely on besides our creative strength to adapt and heal. Coming up with new ideas might eventually get me in the place where I’m a solid contributor to the collective. I have a long way to go yet but many of my other dreams have some true. As I prepare for this Pisces New Moon, I’m tossing those dreams in the cauldron for good cooking and easy digestion (for one day it will all come into form in the most beautiful and aligned way!)

Rose and Cardamom Lip Balm
Cooled
The raw beauty
The yummiest herbal oil I ever made with Thyme

Well, here’s to more thyme! (time) and making the best of the time we got here. I gave away half of the lip balms I made so far. They are lovely and light on the skin. Highly recommend! Haha.😆

Stay tuned for my real Piscean New Moon Post around the 27th! Happy flowing!