Diegesis

Each twist and turn

in the story of life

is but a flutter of light

glinting off a butterfly’s wings.

each moment is a whisper of

soft spoken messages fleshed with meaning

during our telling of it

who and what, where and which way when

is not as important as how we felt

when we quieted the inner din

and stared dark into the silence

feeling the holy fragility of the moments

that are too few to give us any true picture

of where we are going…

Cambodia part2: Angkor Wat

Ka at Angkor Wat
Ka Malana Photography

Like this.

This is the life—

The satisfaction of a statue,

expressing timeless surrender.

We can travel to a memory,

even tarnished, it will shine.

You can dream about what’s possible,

and re-imagine what already happened.

May we all live and grow old

and smile, contentedly.

Like this.

Outdoors in Cambodia: a meditation

In this blog post, I have a recorded a track for meditating outdoors. I’ve also included my photography from my visit to Cambodia in 2001. There’s two images of me from 19 years ago, taken by one of my teachers from University of Pennsylvania, Larry Silver.

Please take some time to sit outside and listen to this meditation, sitting or standing against a tree.
Ka Malana Photography

15/30

Neruda Ode to Clothes & the environment

Ode to the Clothes

Every morning you wait,
clothes, over a chair,
to fill yourself with
my vanity, my love,
my hope, my body.
Barely
risen from sleep,
I relinquish the water,
enter your sleeves,
my legs look for
the hollows of your legs,
and so embraced
by your indefatigable faithfulness
I rise, to tread the grass,
enter poetry,
consider through the windows,
the things,
the men, the women,
the deeds and the fights
go on forming me,
go on making me face things
working my hands,
opening my eyes,
using my mouth,
and so,
clothes,
I too go forming you,
extending your elbows,
snapping your threads,
and so your life expands
in the image of my life.
In the wind
you billow and snap
as if you were my soul,
at bad times
you cling
to my bones,
vacant, for the night,
darkness, sleep
populate with their phantoms
your wings and mine.
I wonder
if one day
a bullet
from the enemy
will leave you stained with my blood
and then
you will die with me
or one day
not quite
so dramatic
but simple,
you will fall ill,
clothes,
with me,
grow old
with me, with my body
and joined
we will enter
the earth.
Because of this
each day
I greet you
with reverence and then
you embrace me and I forget you,
because we are one
and we will go on
facing the wind, in the night,
the streets or the fight,
a single body,
one day, one day, some day, still.

– Pablo Neruda

Poems that take the mundanity and animate it, supply magic to our every day. Pablo Neruda could do this; he had that particular talent. When I read about clothes as he writes about them in his poem above, I think about a time when clothing was made better, when items were sewn to last. Objects and tools used to have more value over the longer term. I long for those days, when we had such great care for our possessions, not in a purely material sense, but in such a way where there was longevity in the relationship–which to me, is a little bit different from attachment.

To me, this appreciation for these material items in our lives goes along with my background and appreciation for animism, how I consider that all of life is considered ‘alive.’ The official definition for animism is, “the belief in a supernatural power that organizes and animates the material universe.” To me, however, the power is more magical, and need not be supernatural. Again recently I was reminiscing of the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, the rabbit who was ‘made real’ by love.

To me, animism as a philosophy is more harmonious and congruent with nature. It is in sync with material durability, in communion with time. In our expendable economies today, we have a “use once and throw away” culture. While I enjoyed seeing all the Halloween decorations this year (more than usual), I couldn’t help but think of the world’s trash problem, and how desperately we need to change our ways in society and in our economies. As an anthropologist, I would say that cultural change is necessitated first. I get excited when we learn about new bacterias or enzymes that can break-down plastic and resolve the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, but we are still far from having the intellectual wealth and intelligence of our planet focused on solving these problems. Many people don’t know, for example, that it rains plastic.

My post is an appeal and a wish to “put the mental and emotional energy” for the planet on solving these problems. We need to have solutions for protecting our Earth, and we need to support our scientists. Yes, each person can make a difference by using re-usable items, and reducing their foot-print; however, I think we have to highlight using our voices, and sharing our hearts so that more people are inspired about what can be done.

Thank you for listening!

Happy Peppering!

A microstory & vintage music

Under the golden, full moon the mouse yawned. She gazed up at the moon from the terrace wall, her eyes aglow with the magic of its fullness. As the now-amber moon rose up, it was low on the horizon, and the mouse looked but a speck of dirt on a luminous disc by size in comparison.


            She gave a little cough and then tapped her tiny podium with her tiny wand. Another petite mouse came from the fire escape nearby, scurrying along quickly, nearly breaking a sweat, and he had on a bow-tie. The two mice sang for a while, mostly covers.


            Then, the tiny wand winked up and down, drawn by the mouse’s swift outstretched hand. Tracing a triangle into the dark air, there popped a cello with a player (and this one was a cat!). Then, she traced a rectangle right straight out in front of her, and there popped a snazzy piano!


The night lights twinkled and the moon grew dizzy. After all the hours gone by, there formed around the moon’s crown were grey clouds, stirred up from hours of the night, filled by her imaginings as she reflected down into the distance, listening to the melody from the marvelous mice during the night.


See the link down below for just some of the mice music.

This post was created for Nano Poblano, the world’s least-official November blog writing challenge. I’m participating in the blog challenge this year, trying to post every. single. day. for the month of November. The plan is to be random about what I blog about. This is the first time I am using the new editor on the computer, and I’m not sure how to change the font size yet for the link and block below. Feel free to click on it to learn more about Nano Poblano!

Nano Poblano is here.

When Great Trees Fall

When Great Trees Fall

When Great Trees Fall
— Read on thecoddiwomplerscauldron.com/2020/09/20/when-great-trees-fall/

When I read this poem, it made me think of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. May we remember with gratitude her tremendous strength and commitment to service. 💗🙏🏽💗

The gift of her life and her offerings brought so much awareness; her life was a real gift of love.

That full moon was craze balls!

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Finally feeling lighter! Wowsers! I’ve been nearly knocked off my feet since the Mercury station retrograde at the end of October culminating into the full moon yesterday. I feel like all the trines and sextiles (aspects) in the chart were just leading and directing more energy into the healing and clearing process, facilitating that “something bigger’ we are all working on. But when I am “in it” that’s my work – that’s what I do in order to maintain. Pardon the interruption, I will resume reading your blogs and commenting and sharing on twitter, as always, as I am able to.

For those of you who had a very calm and even comfortably lazy Taurus Full Moon – I am very happy for you! We all deserve it! Thanks for letting us experience it through you! 

My paradigms have been shifting so much in the past several years ((and many of them just being blown away)) and they haven’t exactly settled into languagable – yes I made up that word – spaces, so I can barely write, even though I have been doing it! Writing to me is a process that feels like a crystalizing, so it’s not always my preferred medium; albeit it is magical in it’s own ability to manifest. I am posting and I’m doing that regularly (and for Nano Poblano) in order to continue to try to develop my language skills. When I started this blog I hadn’t even considered “becoming” a writer, because I’ve never been very good at writing prompts and “writing on demand.” I just wanted to share astrology. Then I remembered I loved poetry, too. Then I worked at it, and with help, I published my first poetry book. Since then I’ve written a lot more. So the cycle continues with more momentum. Also, I used to do photography but haven’t been doing that for a couple of years now, either. Crossing fingers to squeeze that in with more ease and grace.

Dear readers thank you so much for being great readers! Thank you for being yourselves and blogging along side, in the development rooms, in the presentation rooms, in the brainstorming clouds – I hope to be able to return to the November writing month celebration’s programming: Nano Poblano, but I have had to attend to rapid developing processes at home (little sweet baby) and within (keeping the fort down), as well as those finals are coming around again.
I’m so nervous about next term and being away from my daughter just a little bit more. So far, I’ve been able to balance being in “two places” at once, but being back in the clinic will require more of me and I think i CAN DO it! At least today I do. Feel free to cheer me on – I’d like to graduate by the end of 2020.

Also nursing her and being very close to her as much as possible! I don’t want to miss any of her! ❤ We CAN DO this together! She’s already helping me brush the dust off my guitar more often. She’s enjoyed my shamanic drum, and my Djembe… etc., and she really just enjoys anything on her good days 🙂

******************************Poem interlude*******************************

When you are lost
and all the things you see
have cost

when you lose the
hope for inspiration
and all you get is
pontification

when deep in your soul
the flavor of umami is
taking a: “getting
used to this.”

your hot cuppa fate
and open breath
ability to satiate
into the autumn death

a new warmth grows
and gives hope in
the throes
of the open air.

*************************CHECK out These Cheer Peppers**********************

Link to all bloggers with Nano Poblano

Special blogger Nano Poblano discovery and shout out goes to Namysaysso.wordpress.com
Loving the poetry and imagery of perspective! Your post today was great and I really liked your ones recently about the cosmos and our place in it, and the ants 🐜!2019

More inspiration needed; and contentment

I didn’t feel like posting yesterday. I could have put in the extra effort at the end of tired day, and got it in at the end of the day, but I thought: I’m not gonna push. I’m okay with non-perfection. Pushing is something I only do when I am inspired. Otherwise, there’s a whole lot of self-love and nurturing that is okay to address, because obviously I need it. I need inspiration. I can only push, when I have love behind me, when I know that I am a being of love, and sometimes that most certainly is in the form of a push. Other times love is “let it go, just stop.” It can be any of these things, or even a combination.

Yesterday was my second day at a conference where I volunteered, and I got to enjoy some Qi Gong the first day. I only made it to one lecture yesterday but I wasn’t stimulated by it, except to start getting involved in martial arts again. Nearly everyone I speak to who is old school and a leader in the field says where you really learn what you need to learn, you learn through martial arts training, or that that’s where they learned, not in school.

While I was visiting the exhibits I had a couple of times where I noticed myself only being spoken to by the vendors based by the “status” of my badge. Actually I didn’t have a badge because I didn’t need it this time. This was the second day and I got a two day pass for volunteering plus a free pass for being a student.

Now I know every field has big shots. That’s fine, I guess, but I’m tired of starting a conversation with someone only to be ignored the second someone that that person considers is more important walks by and engages them. This happens far too much to me. So, being a particular “nobody” we tend to just accept that that person doesn’t want to miss the opportunity to speak to someone special – or as he said, “a pillar in the field,” or at least someone who is a celebrity teacher.

Hmmm…

Okay, no problem. Normally I try to focus on what’s good, where connections DO happen, but I’m running out of patience in my 6 year process for things to click in a more meaningful way. The heart of it has gone dry so many times and I’ve never spoken of it until now. I have a no-obligations consultation today with a communications specialist and business coach, and I do hope that it helps. I’m running out of steam, inspiration. What I am experiencing, there’s no way I am the only one – even if only in this context, at any other given point in time, there’s no way I’m alone.

From my perspective, there are tons of practitioner celebrities out there with tons of people who adore them, and supposedly they have great results, but I’m skeptical — and they are all over social media, and I’m just sick of this cult culture. I have no desire to become an expert. I’m sure so many of them are well-earned, or naturally talented/gifted/blessed/and self taught. I’m glad for so many of them and even more-so for the people they help.

Fortunately I was able to spend my time with loved ones and grab some nice photos.

So many years I didn’t speak my mind for fear of being perceived as being negative, and I keep taking responsibility for how I am contributing to my perspective, but I’m tired of the lack of resonance, and I’m calling for more inspiration.

This tiny cactus is alive and does not have a social media account or a social status. I’m a little bit grateful that this cactus’ voice can’t or hasn’t been channeled by someone and turned into a money making machine. Because this cactus IS PRESENCE. It’s not a metaphor. It lives and exists, and that is all.

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The irony for me what that I picked up this Dove chocolate at the conference and it said, “Don’t stop until you are proud.” What was perhaps really funny to me was that the foil broke in such a way that it makes it difficult to read. When I was young, my understanding was that pride was bad –  and I think pride was just misunderstood. I think pride is still misunderstood. I want to know what it’s like to have pride. I am opening my investigation into how it’s okay to have pride, and how it’s okay to speak my mind and not care whether or not someone is going to judge me.  There’s this great thing in Access Consciousness from Gary Douglas where he said something like you get $7, 000 for every time you are willing to allow yourself to be judged. I’m curious about that. I’m not curious about the money so much, but also I am. I need to earn a reliable income. I’m curious about what it means to not judge or be judged, or to be judged, and be perfectly alright with it. To be misunderstood, and be perfectly alright with it.

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Also when I was out walking and I saw this statue of this mermaid, and I wasn’t sure how exactly she “fit into” my day. There’s something about the way the photograph got taken. I took it, but there was an interesting energetic quality the moment I took it. I”m still trying to understand that. It’s as if there is an unintended rainbow near her face. I like the expression on her face. What does it say?

 

I think it’s contentment. Yes, contentment.

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Please Click for more contributions2019

What I learned from my blogging time-off

 

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Image from ABC Open contributor trish.muir, from ABC https://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-16/reflection-of-peacefulness/8124582

  • I learned that taking a break from blogging made me happier (so I’m just back to share what I learned), for now.
  • Time away enriched other areas of my life in ways that evened everything out, so I will do this more often, potentially by making my blog private again.
  • I love the WP community and have missed each and everyone who’s company I have enjoyed throughout the years. Looking forward to visiting you soon!
  • The process and dynamic of change is something that I consider fun. I’m curious how I will reinvent this new blog that I will create.
  • The rest of my life does not take a break, and I have been deliciously enjoying what has shown up. Somedays have been better than others, but overall, it’s been the best time.
  • Visiting with family has been so lovely – and it was so nice to focus on my visits with them without maintaining an “online” energy, and being this digital persona.
  • Blogging can be whatever I make it. I’ve been blogging for over 8 years; “Fiestaestrellas.com” will be changing form and format in a year or two from now.
  • This blog space will gain new life by 2021, potentially by the end of 2020.
  • Reading for pleasure is more pleasurable when I am more-so “offline,” and not creating and sharing content. I have so many other reasons that I use my computer, so it means more time away from my computer.
  • There are times in life when I want to widen my community and increase my outreach, and other times when I want to focus on enriching the foundation in my life and nurture that foundation, making new discoveries here. I’m still in the place of enriching my foundation: my “why?”

What have you learned from your blogging “time off” ? What do you love about blogging? How has your blogging community grown and changed in just a few months?

The new guide to life

The new guide to life
consists of simple pleasures

watching the shapes form
from out of clouds in the sky

the smell of the house
when dinner is full of
browning butter

fresh fruit on the counter

my baby daughter’s cheeks
when she smiles and
the sound of her squeal as
she kicks with enthusiasm

the sound that the trees make
when wind is whisking through

the splashing of ocean water
as it laps at our ankles
and the sand tickles and
exfoliates the soles of our feet

our morning walk to beat the
late summer heat

squeezing a lemon slice into
a glass of water and watching
it swirl

celebrating Lammas by gathering
ideas and updating the altar

singing simple songs in
foreign languages
and making up rhymes

just for her.

Mama and baby feet _ found online

Photo credit: source unknown

of unique talents and interests

Anna-Maria Hefele’s intriguing voice stretches the bandwidth for what’s possible with human voice and its acoustics. Check out this video where she describes, very well, polyphonic overtone singing. Here is her website for more information.

Recently I began my training as an 8th ray ritual magician with the Medicine Woman series of programs. Also, I aligned my meditation series with Deepak and Oprah again for this July 15th’s initiation of Miraculous Relationships. Celebrating this July 16, 2019 Capricorn lunar eclipse has been part of the way of my existence and sacred path, noticing what signs and correspondences show up along the way.

Keeping a meditation practice and embarking on a journey to deepen my astrological and stellar connections while being initiated as a new mom, simultaneously enjoying time spent with visitors, after the brief illness of my husband and the extra scrambling required, all while preparing (and deciding) for the autumn schedule has been a unique challenge.

I’m not sure if there are any unique talents related to what all I have been doing, but I do hope to continue to purify and prepare myself for whatever work I’ll be doing in the future, as I am continuously guided along my path. Completing the Medicine Woman Rites of the Six Moons with my pregnancy was a very special and unique gift to me in my magical life and the magical life of my family. Exercising and eating well has definitely been the way of this warrior.

My grandmother has been persisting and she’s just “wow’ed” our family so many times with her strength and endurance. Turns out I don’t have to say goodbye now. She’s now at her newest home. Thank you to everyone who read my poem and left some love for us (and her) here.

Not a Romcom

Life is not a romcom.
More like a tragic humor show
while good sensibility meets
overtop frustration and
ultimately – the absurdity
repeats
repeats
situationally,
everyone is
in the same boat, on the same
stage, not the same page –
(!)
script-less
and
doing improvisation

like they never were trained.

but they were, because that’s life

training you every day. (registered trademark!)

Life is “practice,” …all of it.

—>so it’s more like an absurdist
play,
like an ironic,
silly show,

that can be tragic in all its ineptitude –
and cluelessness, and endless attempts to
dunk the basket in the wrong city for the wrong
team.

Moments are deep, penetrative and connecting,
quite serious.

but, while in a romcom: People experience drama,

in this absurdist play,
it a bit more like trauma,

this era,
constant recovery from
constant growth.

.

A shooting free world

there’s a request I heard
the angels put in.
they said with tears in their eyes!

do not injure my people!

if you are feeling lost and afraid,
take my sword, and march into battle
fearlessly with your essence of peace.

this sword is a gift to use with the clarity of your heart,
and the eons of wisdom acquired by your
soul.

be not afraid ~

for all this destruction cannot last
without creating better, more solid, and
more loving worlds. See the light is returning, it is.

I will keep showing you.

for every destruction, crushing heartbreak,

grows the strength of new life.