Ramblings on Astrology, Access Consciousness, Shamanism, “Remote Viewing” and manipulation

For the last several years, though I’ve been an astrology student, and an astrologer, for many many years, I’ve attended numerous workshops and have been read by many others who are well-recognized in the field. I have had access to very successful people.

However, it was in my 20s, now I am almost 40, that I really had made the most progress with my astrology (even though I was at it in my early teens and before with the early software discovery). I had read nearly every friend who I would meet and who was in my life, all relationships, and I desperately needed to help myself through life with astrology. I couldn’t believe how with such little knowledge I had at the time, I was able to tap into the depths of people’s lives, and also! I learned about their charts through their examples, their relationships. Learning through reading is the best way to learn!

Back to me about me:

Astrology gave me the insight that no one else could. It was empowering. It was a true necessity in my life as my reflective mandala. At that time in my late teens and early twenties, I didn’t have anyone else read me, I was a lone wolf in the operation, and that gave me the sense and freedom I needed to really build my intuition, and turn to myself for support. I had built an alliance with myself, and quite often, with all of today’s supports, I sometimes worry I have lost it, but it’s really being remade.

There was so much grit to my life of barely getting by, as was my old daily reality. Things are different now, but I still have my daily work.

Last weekend, I became an Access Consciousness Bars Practitioner, and I have been loving it ever since, it’s a superb tool for releasing and limitations and asking open-ended questions, and that’s just still scratching the surface, at best.

Do I still have doubt? Absolutely. Does this stop me anymore? Not really. Do I still have tremendous resistance? Yes, And! It doesn’t matter. I can have my resistance and eat my cake too.

Last night, I had an incredible journey for a client where we did extraction. I’ve been studying for several years as a Shamanic practitioner. I was not in the mood to journey.

Many aspects of my own inner structures have been crumbling away. I didn’t feel “up to it,” but wouldn’t you know, the second I began the journey, her guide opted in, and led the entire way forward! Only for me to realize afterwards in the discussion we had that indeed this was her guide, as verified by information she gave me.

I had recently started reading “Miracles of Mind,” by Russell Targ and Jane Katra, who were part of the “Remote Viewing” governmental researchers into the 70s but also well into the 1990s. I am still in disbelief as I read. I’m not a person who has had a lot of mystical experiences in my life. My friends used to tell me that I helped them, but I always thought I’d take the path of a traditional therapist, though I never did, I opted for anthropology instead. That was awhile ago, and that trail, well, it’s mostly dried up too. Lest it be revived one day for some purpose unknown to me now.

I’m very aware that I do not like manipulators, which is why I took astrology into my own hands at a young age. When I work with people I am so super cautious about telling them what I believe about them (about what Spirit has shown me) and it requires a tremendous nudge from the universe to get me to “move” on a lot of things. I see so many people “telling other people how it is” and the reality is that each person is entitled their own empowerment even if they try to “give it over to you,” you must give it back to them at every moment.

Even to this day, with the zillion mentors and teachers I have in this life, I am still very observant of my own volition and intuition. Sometimes it can be very discouraging when we go and pay for services only to have people give us the “wrong information.” This is why I have shied away from so many people who approach me and I will continue to do so, unless I am certain that they know that “receiving” is something that is in our own hands – even grace makes its way into our corner of the cosmos.

You don’t have to be popular to be deemed authentic, as it appears in our social media world. No matter how many reviews you have and how many people back “your identity” it doesn’t mean that you are going to be the “right” person. I have found myself seeking those quiet people in the corner, those quiet people who seem very contended with their quiet lives, those are the ones who seem to have answers that resonate with me, should I need them to be delivered though another medium as infinite there are of ways for the divine or even the mundane to speak to us, and get the balling rolling, the life blood moving, the eyes open.

Thank you for listening, I mean, really listening.

Taste of freedom

Ever wanted your freedom so much
that you can remember the taste of it
on your tongue,
you can remember how wide-open
your day began, when you opened your eyes?

and everything was possible in the moment
you winked your eyes open?

What if everything that you choose keeps
bringing you to more and more choices which are surprisingly showing you your developing ideal, even before you’ve formed it in your mind?

and as you create your world, your vision
becomes so fluid and full of potential that you can’t hold anything other than
your best dreams in your mind’s eye?

There’s simply only space for what is possible.

And, what if anything is possible?
those sparks you see forming in the corner of your eye is your next inspiration, on a platter, just saying “choose me,” “choose you,” “choose all of you.”

Astrology for fun:
Sun and Uranus conjoined in Taurus
Chiron and Venus (& Mercury) in Aries conjoined,
Moon and Rx Jupiter cojoined in Sagittarius
interpret whatever you like as you’d like,
and realize you can choose at any time to “let go” and “choose” again.
your best choice is always arising

Sharing abundance

I see abundance in this one flower
who encourages me to sit curbside
and take a moment under the sun
while, She, the Sun, spreads over my shoulders and shows me how i can interpret her Great mother’s whispers.

when goddess and i found one another,
there was no other allegiance to return to. She showed me how her nature is so natural my own, and she made me into her own image, as she knelt beside me, feeling everything I felt through me. i became transparent.

Leaving the hobbit hole only so briefly

when it’s springtime and the hobbit hole is so perfectly comfy,

but its super bright outside –

it might not be the time to write a poem, or gaze slowly and languishingly into your glowing glass of tea.

to celebrate your everything comfy,

or recollect whether not you are hitting your mark, and being in your daily diligent meditations,

being a good hobbit,

so you get out your broom and brush,
and put on some of that music that’s already playing in your head,

and you get to whistling,

and each step brings you closer to thick forest, as you sweep.

and maybe the critters are stirring more underneath your feet,

and maybe the clouds are articulating
and so


can not be


A few more flower friends and a wooden door

A “bursting” new moon 🌚 has left me in wordless contemplation, though I emit words as thought 💭 energy construct puffs, and watch them disintegrate mostly into the conversations I am having, joining, becoming, blooming, flowing into the air in wafts, and genetic drifty tufts, particles of formation, mixing, dissolving, releasing, beginning, reintegration…

And the individual blooms come and and go, while the whole season holds the space for the canopy of evolution, to have another ride of time.

The door is old and has been opened and closed so many times… and it seems a new light is cast upon in it, here; and in its framing are more possible openings, slots, divisions, processes, movements…reinvented hinges.

Fiestaestrellas is a ‘moment’ of celebration that goes on all the time, a reconsideration for how a flower burst is like a firework, and the spark of inspiration upon time can incite a groove upon a record (player), to make a sound so appealing that old devices are new and rediscovered, re-made. abundant awareness is full-bodied, symphonic and built of solid, undifferentiated, integrated silence.

Photography and prose rights Ka Malana 2019

Free from judgement

life is so precious
we only get so much time
here in this form,
to experience exactly as we
are, with no label on how we
react, what we feel, what we

how beautiful and precious is our
choice, our freedom, our whims,
our planning, our unique flames,

as we streak in the wind, in the eternal stream,
we offer our incandescent blur of precious steam

to the beam of consciousness ~

and it enters into us, unannounced

but completely recognizable

as peace, love, goodwill

Veil Removal time: the hidden reality – Speculative (Flash) Fiction

She looked up at the stars and wondered how they were so luminous and defined while the slicing light of the eclipse pierced above the horizon, setting the landscape with a gnarly blue glow. She had never seen anything like this before, and none of her ephemerides indicated that this could be happening now, or was forecasted to happen.

A lonely, confused boy with heavy ears faced her now, and all she could see was his silhouette. Why wasn’t he looking towards the light, she thought? She felt closed-in-on as a narrowed corridor of light indicated her only direction was forward, or behind.  So much context was missing suddenly that she felt like she was living in a vignette within a vignette inside of someone else’s story. Someone who lived on another planet. But this was her planet. The light was triggering something unique in her skin, a sensation she hadn’t experienced before.

The eclipse glowed and almost hummed against her cheeks at first, but then the vibrations managed to work through her skin’s surface. Each atom was now interacting by the apparent fusion of the blotted sun with the black of moon. Her flesh radiated with the hue of blue-tinted infrared, the heat on her skin transforming all the tiny hairs on her arms as she felt herself fall away, merging into the dust that she saw gathering all around her feet.

With what was left of her body, or her will, she ran and ran forward into the image of the child before her, who seemed so real in his blackened solidness. She could feel his density, his realness. She wanted to grab his hand, and run into the city with him, for she was bursting with a sense of a new body, and a new life, and she was ready to visit this new previously unseen city ahead that was veiled all along.

I wrote this piece as an experiment with fiction and using an image prompt, and being quick. I wanted very much to do something different from what I was doing, as I needed a change of pace. I’m not sure if this will be an example of my “change of pace,” but it was inspiring enough for me to give it a whirl. Thank you Diana Wallace Peach for this March Speculative Fiction Prompt.

Met a Cat

E62567C9-DED0-4A10-933E-C512CE4CEFB8It’s been a while since I’ve had a childhood pet, since it’s been a while since I’ve been a child. When I was in my early 30s, I had been a sort- of-parent to a dog that my ex mostly raised himself, having had already ideas about how to do that, that he learned from his family and the pets they’d had. This lovely dog, I still think of her, and remember her puppy years, and how she was so close to us, sleeping as a puppy. But, naturally, I encounter my childhood pet more often on the etheric plane. She was my sister-dog. We had that sort of relationship. I wrote my first poem ever, about her. She captured my tears in her golden coat, and played with me easily and joyfully.

My parents had a bunch of cats around when I was born, but I was born allergic, so the cats went elsewhere. There was one cat in particular I remember shouting her name for hours and desperately missing her (I must have been around 4 or younger), but she never came. I wept. I felt guilty for being allergic. It made me sad.

I’ve made friends with a number of outdoor animals over the years, and never claimed them as “mine.” There was this kitten that I named who I really was very fond, of but I didn’t see her around consistently, and so lost her to the elements of who-knows-where. But I would see her a couple of times after I got off the school bus; and for a day or two, she felt like mine.  After my Shamanic Healing today with my Shamanic teacher, I met this cat and felt deeply towards it, only to quickly learn her language, get her to come over so I could make contact, and then for us both to be on our ways again.

I’m thinking of making my blog private, I sort of don’t know what I want to do with it right now, and I’m not sure why I felt like sharing this, either. But it made sense, somehow.

Life is but a Dream

In some cases, this is literally true. Dream states are existing all the time; in the way we filter our experiences through our reticular system, we are not really meeting reality ‘exactly as it is.’ But, today as my little unborn baby bounces around inside of me, I wanted to write a little bit about astrology and introduce a great book I finished earlier this week, written by a woman who is both a writer and acupuncturist (as well as a stylist!), among other things… indeed.

First the dynamic astrology that was this week.

  • New Moon in Pisces
  • Merc Mertrograde in Pisces (leaving that typo! just too funny!)
  • Uranus ingress Taurus
  • Chiron ingress Aries
  • Saturn/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn

This week is like a catapult of energy, and we shall all see where we end up. With creative genius Pisces, all the world could be our oyster, or our disillusion, and/or both, and/or neither. So! Soak it up!



The Book of Help: A memoir in remedies kept me engaged the entire time. There were moments when I felt I wanted to pause to read my 10 or so other concurrent books and magazines (besides blogs) that I usually have going, and those moments were nice to integrate and enjoy the ‘coming and going’ of joining with Megan, as a friend, for a tasty beverage. Naturally Megan’s book, published January 2019, by Rodale, New York, was attractive to me because I am also in the field of Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine, and have an interest in writing/reading literature and living a dynamic life. What I enjoyed that was unique to Megan’s memoir is the way she organized her book. Each chapter is broken down into a little subtext with the headings and statement behind them, “Purpose, Duration, Equipment needed, Age, Cost, and Location.” In this way Megan is making a catalogue of her training periods, and being creative about what she considers trainings, workshops, and excursions along the way into self-development, and ultimately self-love. Megan’s book also reads like a bit of an expedition, as one of her main interests and her training experience is among the wilderness.

Maybe my favorite part is the end of her book, which I won’t give away. At all, or even hint, but it was tearful, and added a lot of depth to my reading of her memoir, endearing me to her. And my second favorite part of her book is in the very beginning where she dedicated,

“For all those who’ve ever needed a lantern. And for all those who’ve been one.”

Very well done, Megan. I found it interesting that you attended a couple of different Chinese medicine schools, and for your clinical training, and I appreciate that you “took your time” with the journey – as I can definitely relate to that.  Here’s to living it all.



Building relationships while depressed or struggling

In the blog world, there are a number of mental health/ other health blogs. I am always touched when a number of people visit my blog, and then I go to their blog to reciprocate their kindness for liking one of my poems, and I see an individual or group of individuals who are pushing through their emotional challenges, and being a ‘presence’ online so that others have the awareness that they are not alone. Some people visit as teachers or those who would like to offer services, build their business outreach and exposure, but many like to visit to just say “hello” and “touch base” with a “like” or a kind comment.

So many of our relationships often can be built around sharing our inadequacies and our challenges, in ways that uplift one another. Likewise, many build support relationships where we can all celebrate the success of those in our network who we are attentive to, and who we contribute much our time and our interests, as we build relationships, as we surf our interests on the net during our day.

What I see is a sort of bottom line is the challenge that is met with blogging to put one’s internal experiences into words. Sometimes words however are not the best method for delivering information, and yet we all understand through words and build our basis in connecting. Though there are many authors who write to offer their creative talents and inspire others to use creativity as a solution to their busy, ready, and curious minds. Whatever the mission out there, there’s a huge diversity.

Depression can be a real challenge and a drag in the reciprocity department. The desire to give and to receive is human and innate. We all want, I believe, to use our lives to enrich the lives of others. At least that’s what I see, I see people wanting to enrich the lives of others as an innate, human need. In fact, I can’t think of a trait more “human” than the desire to relieve the suffering of others.

Please know that your efforts, your vision, your place in the world is valued and acknowledged. There will always be an audience for your message, even if your message shifts as your mood changes with time. Please know that you always have help, and there are always people willing to be part of your life.

Wishing you all, dear reader, a good day, and a good weekend, week ahead. May all your best dreams come true.

pastry donut, uniqueness

I am filled with a million thankyous
and while that number is imprecise

I am leaking wishes for everyone of
you who touch me every day

with your focus and dedication
Your talent, your trust

Life is unbreakable while it is
fragile and the thankyous are squishy

awarenesses, that are part of an

experimental soundtrack, traveling towards
everybody’s Heaven as one.

What I do today I will not do tomorrow
but something different and something new

For I have found a way to encounter
unexpected happiness after turning troubling

And I’ve decided that I don’t need any talent to continue, all I need is the blessings of another day, with all its lack of permission. I’ll take the breath! I will make my own way, without a direct line,

instead I will carve out my path, one line at a time, and wait for no celebration to greet me but the one that naturally arises,

when I realize that I’m breathing deeper than I ever have before;

so something’s working well enough,

for me, to continue getting lost in love.

:: bows::