Sometimes I get lonely

Sometimes I get lonely, and I just realized it’s because it’s a natural response for me to disconnect from the “pain body” of the world. During tragedy, such as the recent event in Las Vegas, it’s a natural response for me that I acquired over time, to remove my shared energy field from that of the world. It’s self-protective, and it often works, but then the walls come down and I remember: here’s where I want to be, and maybe where I often, too, am; when I am more aware of it. This is from Thich Nhat Hanh’s Peace is Every Step.

Cookie of Childhood

“When I was four years old, my mother used to bring me a cookie every time she came home from the market. I always went to the front yard and took my time eating it, sometimes half an hour or forty-five minutes for one cookie. I would take a small bite and look up at the sky. Then I would touch the dog with my feet and take another small bite. I just enjoyed being there, with the sky, the earth, the bamboo thickets, the cat, the dog, the flowers. I was able to do that because I did not have much to worry about. I did not think of the future, I did not regret the past. I was entirely in the present moment, with my cookie, the dog, the bamboo thickets, the cat, and everything.”

May we always find our way back to peacefulness and connection.

31 thoughts on “Sometimes I get lonely

  1. I love this, so much so that I am writing a Blog Response. I will do a reblog of your original post tomorrow and add my thoughts there. Mahalo sister, for always being a source of healing and inspiration. xo

  2. I understand about removing ourselves from such a turbulent world as a way to defend our sense of self… You’re not alone in doing this, sweet Ka. May connection with loved ones help each one of us xx

    1. Hi 👋 Christy –
      I think it’s promising when we do our best. There’s a balancing and anchoring that may be required within the self so as to engage beyond it in a way that is simultaneously cognizant of both self and other in equanimity. I’m with you, may our connections with loved ones keep our love very present in our minds and help our hearts feel reasonably safe. Big hug, Ka

  3. Thank you for sharing that beautiful quote, Ka. Made my day. How effortless it can be when we are not occupied with worry for the future, or regret from the past. And we wonder in the face of tragedy if we’re allowed this, don’t we? I am eating this cookie now, of these words, and holding the knowing of a world where we can all rest easy, with our faces warmed by the sun.

    Wishing peace for all alongside you,
    Michael

    1. Hi Michael,
      Yes – your very apt question remains. A question I had when I composed this post. Are we allowed this in the face of tragedy? I want to help build that place for us, each of us, to have a Sky that’s clear – and a soft welcoming place for our feet. 🙂 I am grateful for your company here and for your sharing of your vision.
      Wishing you a warm, welcoming week,
      Ka

  4. Thanks for this, Ka. I love the work if Thic Nhat Hahn and should practice his wisdom more these days given the current state of the world. We forget that we chose to be here at this place and in this time and I’d like to think it’s to make a difference, either to hold the vision of what the world could be or to just be a small oasis in an otherwise parched and searing dessert. Either way, it takes discipline and single-mindedness, not in the world’s way of me me me first, but in Hahn’s way of look how connected I am to it All. Thanks for yet work you’re doing. Have a blessed day. ox

    1. I very much appreciate your comment this morning. It’s in alignment with my contemplations and I think what Thich Nhat Hahn embodies is graceful gentleness in all ways. When we do this we recognize that there is room enough for self-compassion that allows our ability, from the place of deep anchor and self-love, to move outwardly into the space of generosity of spirit. I think this takes many forms and may be as simple as “ah, I remember to breathe now, and by myself lightening, I am creating more space and peace to dwell in and to invite others to.” PJ thank you so much. Have a beautiful week! Xo I am grateful for your thoughts and reflection. Love, Ka

  5. A beautiful share Ka.. and a reminder we all of us at times find ourselves in that lonely place. I go there often.. Reflecting upon the world.. But I am always brought back to my heart.. And live in the hope that one day others will learn to live from theres..

    Love and Blessings Ka.. I have been more out than in WP of late.. finding solice in my garden and knitting, writing poems that have yet to be published. Just drinking in Autumn Hues and breathing in the peace of our own creation..

    When we all learn to drink in that Peace, hold it close in our hearts, this is how we best serve sharing our energy with the world.. I have lost count of the tears I have shed as Humanity seems to have on the surface losts its way..
    But maybe in its own strange way.. It is bringing us back together..

    Sending love and many thanks Ka for the love you share.. ❤
    Sue

  6. Reblogged this on Fireside Witch and commented:
    This was a beautiful post found on: http://www.fiestaestrellas.com. It speaks to how the energies of the world affect us and ultimately our workings. I wanted to share both it and my response to the beautiful Ka, here. with you all.

    Dearest Ka:
    Aloha soul sister, it’s hard, isn’t it… especially for empathics. I feel like the world is out of balance and it has me thinking on a new way at looking at shadow work this year…

    I have always believed in a collective sub consciousness and consciousness for that matter. But I’ve come to realize it runs more in-depth than that. While we have our individual shadows, just as we have a collective sub/consciousness, there is also a collective shadow consciousness that we are all facing and we have to make a choice whether to feed into it or help it dissipate. I like your thoughts of going back to that moment of clarity, that moment of peace, finding the power you held within that time and bringing it forward.

    I am not a “love and light” will heal the world person, I know there is darkness, hatred and fear, and more…. I’ve lived it, and still do. I’ve also believe that certain types of baneful workings, and entities will simply feed on the light you send it, lick it’s lips and say “more please”. These are my ancestral teachings and personal experiences. For this reason, my grandmother taught me to learn and understand the baneful side of healing and magicks not to mimic it, but to understand how to defeat it. The more I live the more I understand this lesson she was imparting to me.

    I always knew and respected that it didn’t mean fight hexing with hexing, but understanding the root of the hex or negative workings to better understand it’s weakness and how to combat it, as a Light Warrior.

    The world is facing so much hatred right now. It’s fracturing.. you can even feel it within the pagan community as racism is weeding it’s way in. What is at the root of it, only the individual who are sending this energy out can know. It is their individual shadows to heal through. Sadly, they are not choosing to do this and it is poisoning the communities that are connected through the energy web of life itself.

    Your post has provided a starting point. We need to rebalance the energies. In this instance, I do believe that working with lighter energies will help… it doesn’t mean (and I HATE this term, I find it unfair and derogatory..) being a fluffy bunny, but being a LIGHTWARRIOR.

    To that end, I step with you sister, into the shared energy of the web (both electronic and earth based, soul based) to walk in harmony, and in peace. Don’t counter fear with fear, hatred with hatred. My shadow workings this year will include a tribal shadow working, to look more deeply into how we can begin to heal as a tribe.

    Thank you for reminding us that we do have an impact on each other. Let us chose to make that a positive one.

    Namaste and Blessed and Mehalo sweet sister.

    Kayla Baboolal – Jaguar Spirit

    1. Dear Kayla Baboolal 💖

      I am touched by your kindness and generosity of spirit, offered by your words here. As I work to build my community into one that supports all children of all races, from all places, having the solid knowledge of developing kinship and trust, while getting to know one another in a public and shared energetic space, I believe that we are fulfilling a great need to supply a great work. May we each contribute to one another’s beauty, health, and capacity for deep and enduring peace and meaningful relationships. May our communities continue to grow with openness and flexibility, and may we also maintain our individual works with all the special guidance we are given. I have had many teachers for which I am so fortunate and grateful. My most meaningful and supportive relationships carry forward with great capacity for sisterhood and brotherhood, in equality. To me, I am not a member of one community, but I share space across many spiritual communities in different traditions and with a dynamic growth that supports my own work. I am so grateful for our walk together, and I honor your jaguar spirit, as I often work with jaguar, too. Thank you for your integrity and wisdom, and all that you are expressing in your beautiful message. May none of us ever walk alone.

      With love,
      Ka

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