Do angels?

do angels really hold up the world
or is it built on Science

and the zillions of moments of
quantum observations

that build these intricate
network systems, and

when you observe this in nature
in its complete perfection

not one human can emulate
the symphonies of color in a field
of wildflowers,

nor compose all the universes that
we mathematically deduce the vector
of, as we move through space,

too.

there’s no stopping us.
we are angels,
and angels are we,

and still there are more angels
unseen.

And, yes, there is Science,
and it’s wonderful.

Full healing

I dedicate this poem to the full
healing of a beloved:

Let time and space open,
and bring wholeness into your being
May you be filled with light
and balancing energy,
May the air you breathe recover your
spirit, and bring you into union,
so that your whole body is completely
healthy again.

Blessed be.

May this be the beginning of a deeper
healing for many, that joins us all together
and brings greater peace and joy for all.

Practical Materialism

fixing the bed,
making it soft.
deleting batches of emails,
joyous with
less electronic clutter –

time off from internet,
browsing, Click “erase”
instead

deleting old contacts,
acknowledging time and space
and re-imaging relationships

washing the dishes
with love

this is the stuff of poetry!

you want more passion?
how about: find it in clarity?

moving energy on out
picking it up
dancing,
for a moment,
and then, waving goodbye.

curtain draws

resuse, recycle, renew
regift,
reemploy

the plants don’t wait for their
water, they make use of what they
have

tonight is a new night
yesterday was a different story

review, renew, receive.

Happy New Year of the Pig!
Venus transits Capricorn

discovering the gentle

in this breath are kingdoms
made of small passage ways
giving freedom
of transit
moving through the illusions
of social dominance, social
hierarchies, the haves and the have nots

i want a simple life,
a small life,
just a few reliables,
and a lot of freedom

in this breath is so much more
than what I ask for.

it’s the witness of what lies
beyond the terror and the fear
that modern day living
activates.

*I’m just experimenting with words…

Mark Nepo: Loving Yourself

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Ka Malana Photography, January 20, 2019

I really wanted to share a meditation from Mark Nepo’s, “The Book of Awakening,” p.29., 2000. I’m relating back to my precocious friend who told me about Martin Buber when I was about age 14, as the beginning quote below is from him. I find Mark Nepo’s own words to be incredibly poetic when he draws the analogy of the “clear bird.”

This passage is a meditation on what is not seen by others, and at the same time is full-circle and inclusive – not unlike viewing an eclipse in its unveiling/veiling moments of transformation. There is no dichotomy here drawn about self-love, from that of any other kind of love, or from even existence itself.

Loving Yourself

I begin to realize that in inquiring about my own origin and goal, I am inquiring about something other than myself… In this very realization I begin to recognize the origin and goal of the world.  –Martin Buber

“In loving ourselves, we love the world. For just as fire, rock, and water are all made up of molecules, everything including you and me, is connected by a small piece of the beginning.

Yet, how do we love ourselves? It is as difficult at times as seeing the back of your head. It can be as elusive as it is necessary. I have tried and tripped many times. And I can only say that loving yourself is like feeding a clear bird that no one else can see. You must be still and offer your palmful of secrets like delicate seed. As she eats your secrets, no longer secret, she glows and you lighten, and her voice, which only you can hear, is your voice bereft of plans. And the light through her body will bathe you till you wonder why the gems in your palm were ever fisted. Others will think you crazed to wait on something no one sees. But the clear bird only wants to feed and fly and sing. She only wants light in her belly. And once in a great while, if someone loves you enough, they might see her rise from the nest beneath your fear.

In this way, I’ve learned that loving yourself requires courage unlike any other. It requires us to believe in and stay loyal to something no one else can see that keeps us in the world–our own self-worth.

All the great moments of conception–the birth of mountains, trees, of fish, of prophets, and the truth of relationships that last–all begin where no one can see, and it is our job not to extinguish what is so beautifully begun. For once full of light, everything is safely on its way–not pain-free, but unencumbered–and the air beneath your wings is the same air that trills in my throat, and the empty benches in snow are as much a part of us as the empty figures who slouch on them in spring.

When we believe in what no one else can see, we find we are each other. And all the moments of living, no matter how difficult, come back into some central point where self and world are one, where light pours in and out at once. And once there, I realize–make real before me–that this moment, whatever it might be, is a fine moment to live and fine moment to die.”

Small note about astrology: I am relieved to see the end of the 18/19 year eclipse series with the eclipses in Aquarius/Leo (Tropical zodiac). This last Leo eclipse was in Cancer/Capricorn nodes, but it was symbolically the end and the beginning of another chapter.

a poet understands

Mary Oliver has passed
and her memory goes on,
like a fading song, too soon.

that gently when the lyrical sound
gets turned down,

you reach for her words
as this is what she gave you,
not her essence.

her essence belongs to the
great beyond and the
silent moments she helped you
reflect on your own insides,

borrowing her voice,

pointing to droplets of dew on shards of grass,
wind through the wings of Wild Geese,

your own strength.

* * *

Mary Oliver’s
The Journey

Poetry
By
Mary Oliver
The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Writer’s Block

Major writers block,
road block
pathway is a wall
of difficulty,
no climbing tools today,
better focus on what
“can be done.”

Climbing shoes on,
but it’s too hot,
the air is a bit
oppressive. Maybe we
can go home?

But we can’t, have to
keep going.

Rest on the wall, by the
wall, facing the wall.
Seeing the wall,
acknowledging the wall.

Maybe we can unpoliticalize
depowerfulize,
unseat this bad master
that sets us all apart from
each-other?

Or worse, from ourselves?

Climbing that wall,
will have to happen another day…

I only follow my own
assignments,

and one day –
that will get me over
the wall, through the wall,

invisablizing the wall.

de-solidifying, penetrating,
star-gazing away that wall.

Maybe it will dissolve,

get flooded with water, and
revitalized with plants.

Maybe that wall can be decorated
with all the graffiti founded
in the expression
that alleviates all our oppression,

We are united only in our
mutual desire for freedom
of authority. Don’t you see?

We need to be the boss of ourselves.

Fierce Orchid

You carry a riddle in your roots;
your leaves fresh, anterior, alert.
Perhaps a keiki in your future.

How strong you are in your aerial
apparatus, and your submerged green
fresh and fleshy chlorophyll tendrils.

Wrapping is what you are good at,
climbing, living, breathing through
soil, air, elements.

Your home is thick with fog and mist,
and your styles are unique, while full
of mimicry.

I walk forward

No fear in this busy being
of light of hope of faith
of trust

She guides me so effortlessly,
sitting beside the stream
of life of wisdom of
peace

When I listen to her
my mind, my openness, travels
into time into space
into realms into
heaven

She becomes me and
I am her, and you and
he, and we, we are
all together
gathering it in,
this moment of passing

acknowledging all
is beside us, behind us,
in front of us, before us,
ready to be discovered
above us
around us.

Within.

Paused

we are at a pause
while the turning of the year happens;
it’s all fast and slow at once!

her voice is muffled by the clamor
of her audience,
if only she could speak up,
but she’s clearing her throat,

trying,
trying…

why don’t i just rest
in this happy place,
where all is safe from any applause
or from too much importance.

there’s something about deaf
ears, that can inspire us, help
us find all the courage to

listen to ourselves…
and, it’s working well.

I honor the dark

I honor the dark I walk through
in order to reach the other side.
so many dark roads, cold and gnarly,
so many whispers and whisking suggestions

I celebrate the path of pathlessness
that marks the dark, lonely nights
so I can find the cabin in the woods
with the hearth and those places in me

with undying embers.

I value the strength of the seasons
which mirror the elements that
shape the snow
and give it life.

the breath of crystal
the voice of clarity.

Now I rest and I break from all the
fullness of life, to hear the most silent moment of the darknest night.

I watch it move through me with reverence,
because I understand how it gives birth.

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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4fWyzwo1xg0

Mercury direct station and the New Moon in Sagittarius, reflections

Deep gratitude for this life that I am living and all the ways that I can experience it and share it with others. I am grateful for this blog and my wonderful followers and supporters. Fiestaestrellas.com has grown the most in the last couple of years with my book publication in 2017, and continued poetry in 2018! You all who visit here and stick around, inspire me so much! Thank you, Mahalo! Each new face and energy here is just so beautiful and precious, and I am grateful for your continuous support and encouragement!

With the transiting Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter, my astrological 10th house of reputation and role in community is all lit up, like a tree with a tiny, bright star at the top. I have some hope. Let’s put it that way.

Some reflections, inspired by recent and almost over Mercury and Venus transits (and shadows):

I haven’t been writing about astrology on my blog, when that was its original intention: “Fiestaestrellas,” celebrates the stars (and all along I really meant “celebrate life.” It’s so much a part of my life, continue with my NCGR group (and other local groups) and my daily meditations, but I’ve been enjoying celebrating poetry when it flows into this space. It’s a more open format that I enjoy, and enjoyment is the focus; it helps me cultivate all the things.

Originally I started my blog to be informative, sharing from my own experience and collected observations in conjunction with some collated information, and to meet people who I could serve, but over time I saw how wonderful all the other transmitters of information around me were on the same topic (and growing!), and I didn’t want to even try to compete! So, I let it go. I had other areas of expression that felt more productive and readily accessible (to harvest), while I couldn’t make it the focus it needed to be, in order to do it right! I think that was actually a good decision; and growing through the sharing of others, meanwhile, has been internally very nurturing. I’ve been under a lot of development! Yay!

Working with my patients in East Asian Medicine (acupuncture, etc) and continuous training in other styles of Shamanic practices, working with many teachers on different planes…plants, elements, etc.. from different lineages, being a member of groups of shamanic practitioners, developing friendships in my various fields of professional activities, and being an ordinary person, it’s really shown me all my deeper challenges end up being around business and business communication – I have strong desire to be in the most seamless flow around business and energy exchange. I am not alone, no one loves this area of self-promotion of their products and services as far as I know, and it’s nice when we can focus on the stuff that matters. Lots of cleverness and talent can be seen in people who navigate these activities with such ease! I’m always impressed by everyone else out there! I am not yet one of them, and despite being “at it” for a long time, I continue to make only “baby step sized” progress, which by the way, can be very cute! A couple of my supervisors’ evals praised my rapport-building skills with patients, and I think it’s interesting that it’s what I find the most challenging! It’s easier to see and test the results of the work via communication, and that’s been the most rewarding for me!

As a certain practitioner developing many skill sets at once, I can see this area developing nicely in my world (business/fair exchange) and it’s a relief. I’m really feeling valued! I feel like business will take care of itself, while I can focus on taking care of me and others. I’ve had a steady flow of patients without needing to do anything additional to “bring them in.” That’s a welcome relief. I can trust my journey! My patients have faith in me! I can keep my focus on my journey and not on anything else!

I’ll be working with another Shamanic teacher and being introduced to 3 new groups of plant essences and allies, beginning during this New Moon, today, and for the next several months! Very excited! I can feel excitement of new plant friends and new relationships forming on the horizon.

Left behind forever:

Comparison is an illusion and a thief. I don’t ever have to waste another moment on it, in a way that is not directly enriching and mutually supportive. Some comparison is reasonable and informative, I believe, and developmental. I make my own pace, and I am given so much as a result! Energy gifts come in all forms and I am receiving so much, and still learning how to receive, which has continued to be a challenge for me.

Stories from daily encounters that are cool and inspiring:

These days I’ve been enjoying sharing my daily and personal stories with my nearest and dearest, and elevating those relationships which most feed me in all ways. I appreciate receiving such wonderful feedback and gifts from the heart directly from my patients, and appreciate the supervisors who have given me such wonderful evaluations that I can reflect on during challenging times. I work to become less introverted in my daily life. I’ve had to push through so much worry, doubt, and insecurity. I’m truly a work in progress.

Much Love,
Ka

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P.S. Big props for people who read my blog post in its entirety, and with interest. I know it’s filled with run-on sentences, and a lot of un-polished-ness, but I wanted to transmit my exuberance. Thank you for all who were able to over-look that! Also, I hope to become a better writer in the future, and in different types of styles. I hope to be able to create more products to share, and be more productive in sharing my value.

Rain falls

drops easily fall from the heavy sky
in 360 surround sound
i’ve been waiting in this dark n’ quiet
corner, soaking up the peacefulness of
solitude in the midst of the
busy, moving, bustling life around me,

like the rain drops, I am released.

free to roam the ground and be as
petrichor, free as
any particle moves about from the
forces it is a part of,
free from mind or duty,
free from need to craft a vision,
of peace and calm, or growth
and creation.

Free.

it’s all already been done,

and the show I’m watching is the best show on Earth,
and from it can see Mars,
the expanding universe,
and feel the tiny little presence
that silently awaits its own journey of release.

Friends are lifting me up

it wasn’t long ago that I realized
that anything I had to offer anyone
was incidental.

try and try as I may, my contributions
and service always fell short of
my soul’s intention.

too much struggle in my own efforts
and not enough levity in my heart,
what can I give from that place,
but my emptiness?

my impact and influence on those around
me have been not the real way to be
a blessing, as my experience would show me:

being helped,
being lifted,
bringing that smile to others
who are there for me,
that’s the true joy I see in their eyes-

when they feel like they did something
good and their gifts were received.

when I want to “do” for others
it is when I find myself the
most “needing,” it’s like that,
unfortunately and yet innately
fair to recognize that

it’s an honest human equality,
it’s my truth…

allowing another’s love,
their efforts, their caring
to be heard, seen, respected,
appreciated.

receiving love, blessings, grace…
surrendering with gratitude to the goodness of others…

Grateful for so many
in-tune people to share this
adventure with
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If I were to…

open up and unfurl my inner poetess-process

I’d trace the skyline 🌃 of my heart’s city

with the finger of my imagination

And cover myself head to toe in fresh colors that smell of oil paint and spices

I may not make it to any meetings, appointments, or classes,

and I’d definitely not use a calendar 📆 except to color in the palette 🎨 of my life’s activities, exactly at times, and sketched at times,

and I’d cut out huge areas of clocklessness

i’d appoint each moment when it feels perfect and effortless 🔥 rather than schedule intersecting time-space happenings

i’d be cooking, and dancing, sculpting and then napping. I’d light incense and candles and then run through the woods, following the scents and tracks of animals…

I’d wear masks every day with purposefulness and intention, the feathers from my hair would stream in the wind as I follow the scent of dusk into dawn, and ride each day like an amusing dragon 🐉 of delights, streaming through the sky

unbeknownst to anyone….