Ramblings on Astrology, Access Consciousness, Shamanism, “Remote Viewing” and manipulation

For the last several years, though I’ve been an astrology student, and an astrologer, for many many years, I’ve attended numerous workshops and have been read by many others who are well-recognized in the field. I have had access to very successful people.

However, it was in my 20s, now I am almost 40, that I really had made the most progress with my astrology (even though I was at it in my early teens and before with the early software discovery). I had read nearly every friend who I would meet and who was in my life, all relationships, and I desperately needed to help myself through life with astrology. I couldn’t believe how with such little knowledge I had at the time, I was able to tap into the depths of people’s lives, and also! I learned about their charts through their examples, their relationships. Learning through reading is the best way to learn!

Back to me about me:

Astrology gave me the insight that no one else could. It was empowering. It was a true necessity in my life as my reflective mandala. At that time in my late teens and early twenties, I didn’t have anyone else read me, I was a lone wolf in the operation, and that gave me the sense and freedom I needed to really build my intuition, and turn to myself for support. I had built an alliance with myself, and quite often, with all of today’s supports, I sometimes worry I have lost it, but it’s really being remade.

There was so much grit to my life of barely getting by, as was my old daily reality. Things are different now, but I still have my daily work.

Last weekend, I became an Access Consciousness Bars Practitioner, and I have been loving it ever since, it’s a superb tool for releasing and limitations and asking open-ended questions, and that’s just still scratching the surface, at best.

Do I still have doubt? Absolutely. Does this stop me anymore? Not really. Do I still have tremendous resistance? Yes, And! It doesn’t matter. I can have my resistance and eat my cake too.

Last night, I had an incredible journey for a client where we did extraction. I’ve been studying for several years as a Shamanic practitioner. I was not in the mood to journey.

Many aspects of my own inner structures have been crumbling away. I didn’t feel “up to it,” but wouldn’t you know, the second I began the journey, her guide opted in, and led the entire way forward! Only for me to realize afterwards in the discussion we had that indeed this was her guide, as verified by information she gave me.

I had recently started reading “Miracles of Mind,” by Russell Targ and Jane Katra, who were part of the “Remote Viewing” governmental researchers into the 70s but also well into the 1990s. I am still in disbelief as I read. I’m not a person who has had a lot of mystical experiences in my life. My friends used to tell me that I helped them, but I always thought I’d take the path of a traditional therapist, though I never did, I opted for anthropology instead. That was awhile ago, and that trail, well, it’s mostly dried up too. Lest it be revived one day for some purpose unknown to me now.

I’m very aware that I do not like manipulators, which is why I took astrology into my own hands at a young age. When I work with people I am so super cautious about telling them what I believe about them (about what Spirit has shown me) and it requires a tremendous nudge from the universe to get me to “move” on a lot of things. I see so many people “telling other people how it is” and the reality is that each person is entitled their own empowerment even if they try to “give it over to you,” you must give it back to them at every moment.

Even to this day, with the zillion mentors and teachers I have in this life, I am still very observant of my own volition and intuition. Sometimes it can be very discouraging when we go and pay for services only to have people give us the “wrong information.” This is why I have shied away from so many people who approach me and I will continue to do so, unless I am certain that they know that “receiving” is something that is in our own hands – even grace makes its way into our corner of the cosmos.

You don’t have to be popular to be deemed authentic, as it appears in our social media world. No matter how many reviews you have and how many people back “your identity” it doesn’t mean that you are going to be the “right” person. I have found myself seeking those quiet people in the corner, those quiet people who seem very contended with their quiet lives, those are the ones who seem to have answers that resonate with me, should I need them to be delivered though another medium as infinite there are of ways for the divine or even the mundane to speak to us, and get the balling rolling, the life blood moving, the eyes open.

Thank you for listening, I mean, really listening.

Taste of freedom

Ever wanted your freedom so much
that you can remember the taste of it
on your tongue,
you can remember how wide-open
your day began, when you opened your eyes?

and everything was possible in the moment
you winked your eyes open?

What if everything that you choose keeps
bringing you to more and more choices which are surprisingly showing you your developing ideal, even before you’ve formed it in your mind?

and as you create your world, your vision
becomes so fluid and full of potential that you can’t hold anything other than
your best dreams in your mind’s eye?

There’s simply only space for what is possible.

And, what if anything is possible?
those sparks you see forming in the corner of your eye is your next inspiration, on a platter, just saying “choose me,” “choose you,” “choose all of you.”

Astrology for fun:
Sun and Uranus conjoined in Taurus
Chiron and Venus (& Mercury) in Aries conjoined,
Moon and Rx Jupiter cojoined in Sagittarius
interpret whatever you like as you’d like,
and realize you can choose at any time to “let go” and “choose” again.
your best choice is always arising

Sharing abundance

I see abundance in this one flower
who encourages me to sit curbside
and take a moment under the sun
while, She, the Sun, spreads over my shoulders and shows me how i can interpret her Great mother’s whispers.

when goddess and i found one another,
there was no other allegiance to return to. She showed me how her nature is so natural my own, and she made me into her own image, as she knelt beside me, feeling everything I felt through me. i became transparent.

Leaving the hobbit hole only so briefly

when it’s springtime and the hobbit hole is so perfectly comfy,

but its super bright outside –

it might not be the time to write a poem, or gaze slowly and languishingly into your glowing glass of tea.

to celebrate your everything comfy,

or recollect whether not you are hitting your mark, and being in your daily diligent meditations,

being a good hobbit,

so you get out your broom and brush,
and put on some of that music that’s already playing in your head,

and you get to whistling,

and each step brings you closer to thick forest, as you sweep.

and maybe the critters are stirring more underneath your feet,

and maybe the clouds are articulating
and so


can not be


A few more flower friends and a wooden door

A “bursting” new moon 🌚 has left me in wordless contemplation, though I emit words as thought 💭 energy construct puffs, and watch them disintegrate mostly into the conversations I am having, joining, becoming, blooming, flowing into the air in wafts, and genetic drifty tufts, particles of formation, mixing, dissolving, releasing, beginning, reintegration…

And the individual blooms come and and go, while the whole season holds the space for the canopy of evolution, to have another ride of time.

The door is old and has been opened and closed so many times… and it seems a new light is cast upon in it, here; and in its framing are more possible openings, slots, divisions, processes, movements…reinvented hinges.

Fiestaestrellas is a ‘moment’ of celebration that goes on all the time, a reconsideration for how a flower burst is like a firework, and the spark of inspiration upon time can incite a groove upon a record (player), to make a sound so appealing that old devices are new and rediscovered, re-made. abundant awareness is full-bodied, symphonic and built of solid, undifferentiated, integrated silence.

Photography and prose rights Ka Malana 2019

Met a Cat

E62567C9-DED0-4A10-933E-C512CE4CEFB8It’s been a while since I’ve had a childhood pet, since it’s been a while since I’ve been a child. When I was in my early 30s, I had been a sort- of-parent to a dog that my ex mostly raised himself, having had already ideas about how to do that, that he learned from his family and the pets they’d had. This lovely dog, I still think of her, and remember her puppy years, and how she was so close to us, sleeping as a puppy. But, naturally, I encounter my childhood pet more often on the etheric plane. She was my sister-dog. We had that sort of relationship. I wrote my first poem ever, about her. She captured my tears in her golden coat, and played with me easily and joyfully.

My parents had a bunch of cats around when I was born, but I was born allergic, so the cats went elsewhere. There was one cat in particular I remember shouting her name for hours and desperately missing her (I must have been around 4 or younger), but she never came. I wept. I felt guilty for being allergic. It made me sad.

I’ve made friends with a number of outdoor animals over the years, and never claimed them as “mine.” There was this kitten that I named who I really was very fond, of but I didn’t see her around consistently, and so lost her to the elements of who-knows-where. But I would see her a couple of times after I got off the school bus; and for a day or two, she felt like mine.  After my Shamanic Healing today with my Shamanic teacher, I met this cat and felt deeply towards it, only to quickly learn her language, get her to come over so I could make contact, and then for us both to be on our ways again.

I’m thinking of making my blog private, I sort of don’t know what I want to do with it right now, and I’m not sure why I felt like sharing this, either. But it made sense, somehow.

Life is but a Dream

In some cases, this is literally true. Dream states are existing all the time; in the way we filter our experiences through our reticular system, we are not really meeting reality ‘exactly as it is.’ But, today as my little unborn baby bounces around inside of me, I wanted to write a little bit about astrology and introduce a great book I finished earlier this week, written by a woman who is both a writer and acupuncturist (as well as a stylist!), among other things… indeed.

First the dynamic astrology that was this week.

  • New Moon in Pisces
  • Merc Mertrograde in Pisces (leaving that typo! just too funny!)
  • Uranus ingress Taurus
  • Chiron ingress Aries
  • Saturn/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn

This week is like a catapult of energy, and we shall all see where we end up. With creative genius Pisces, all the world could be our oyster, or our disillusion, and/or both, and/or neither. So! Soak it up!



The Book of Help: A memoir in remedies kept me engaged the entire time. There were moments when I felt I wanted to pause to read my 10 or so other concurrent books and magazines (besides blogs) that I usually have going, and those moments were nice to integrate and enjoy the ‘coming and going’ of joining with Megan, as a friend, for a tasty beverage. Naturally Megan’s book, published January 2019, by Rodale, New York, was attractive to me because I am also in the field of Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine, and have an interest in writing/reading literature and living a dynamic life. What I enjoyed that was unique to Megan’s memoir is the way she organized her book. Each chapter is broken down into a little subtext with the headings and statement behind them, “Purpose, Duration, Equipment needed, Age, Cost, and Location.” In this way Megan is making a catalogue of her training periods, and being creative about what she considers trainings, workshops, and excursions along the way into self-development, and ultimately self-love. Megan’s book also reads like a bit of an expedition, as one of her main interests and her training experience is among the wilderness.

Maybe my favorite part is the end of her book, which I won’t give away. At all, or even hint, but it was tearful, and added a lot of depth to my reading of her memoir, endearing me to her. And my second favorite part of her book is in the very beginning where she dedicated,

“For all those who’ve ever needed a lantern. And for all those who’ve been one.”

Very well done, Megan. I found it interesting that you attended a couple of different Chinese medicine schools, and for your clinical training, and I appreciate that you “took your time” with the journey – as I can definitely relate to that.  Here’s to living it all.



Current Transits: Questions for you?


Hello there,

We are currently under the observation of the following transits. Though there are endless notable or discussable topics, my curiosity is about these:

Venus and Saturn are forming a conjunction within the same sign in Capricorn (quite close to Pluto!), and Uranus and Mars are paired up in different signs at 29 Aries for Uranus and 1 Taurus for Mars. Mercury and Neptune are coupled at 11 and 15 Pisces. These pairings could correlate with a number of manifestations, inner experiences, etc.

I’m opening up the floor for comments and curiosities, many of my readers and/or followers have already expressed interests in astrology, no matter how deeply or superficially.

Have you observed your life running along any of the themes “governed” by these transits?

* Venus/Saturn (in Capricorn)
* Uranus/Mars (end of Aries/beginning of Taurus)
* Mercury/Neptune (Pisces)

With Venus and Saturn we might be looking at values, resources, relationships (Venus) and experiencing longevity, limitation, consolidation (Saturn).

For Uranus and Mars we might be looking at spontaneity, unpredictability, surprises, technological innovations (Uranus) with assertiveness, intensity, passion, action (Mars)

For Mercury and Neptune we might be looking at thoughts, siblings, short distance trips (Mercury) with poetry, visions, art/film/photography, vision, confusion (Neptune).

Do angels?

do angels really hold up the world
or is it built on Science

and the zillions of moments of
quantum observations

that build these intricate
network systems, and

when you observe this in nature
in its complete perfection

not one human can emulate
the symphonies of color in a field
of wildflowers,

nor compose all the universes that
we mathematically deduce the vector
of, as we move through space,


there’s no stopping us.
we are angels,
and angels are we,

and still there are more angels

And, yes, there is Science,
and it’s wonderful.

Full healing

I dedicate this poem to the full
healing of a beloved:

Let time and space open,
and bring wholeness into your being
May you be filled with light
and balancing energy,
May the air you breathe recover your
spirit, and bring you into union,
so that your whole body is completely
healthy again.

Blessed be.

May this be the beginning of a deeper
healing for many, that joins us all together
and brings greater peace and joy for all.

Practical Materialism

fixing the bed,
making it soft.
deleting batches of emails,
joyous with
less electronic clutter –

time off from internet,
browsing, Click “erase”

deleting old contacts,
acknowledging time and space
and re-imaging relationships

washing the dishes
with love

this is the stuff of poetry!

you want more passion?
how about: find it in clarity?

moving energy on out
picking it up
for a moment,
and then, waving goodbye.

curtain draws

resuse, recycle, renew

the plants don’t wait for their
water, they make use of what they

tonight is a new night
yesterday was a different story

review, renew, receive.

Happy New Year of the Pig!
Venus transits Capricorn

discovering the gentle

in this breath are kingdoms
made of small passage ways
giving freedom
of transit
moving through the illusions
of social dominance, social
hierarchies, the haves and the have nots

i want a simple life,
a small life,
just a few reliables,
and a lot of freedom

in this breath is so much more
than what I ask for.

it’s the witness of what lies
beyond the terror and the fear
that modern day living

*I’m just experimenting with words…

Mark Nepo: Loving Yourself


Ka Malana Photography, January 20, 2019

I really wanted to share a meditation from Mark Nepo’s, “The Book of Awakening,” p.29., 2000. I’m relating back to my precocious friend who told me about Martin Buber when I was about age 14, as the beginning quote below is from him. I find Mark Nepo’s own words to be incredibly poetic when he draws the analogy of the “clear bird.”

This passage is a meditation on what is not seen by others, and at the same time is full-circle and inclusive – not unlike viewing an eclipse in its unveiling/veiling moments of transformation. There is no dichotomy here drawn about self-love, from that of any other kind of love, or from even existence itself.

Loving Yourself

I begin to realize that in inquiring about my own origin and goal, I am inquiring about something other than myself… In this very realization I begin to recognize the origin and goal of the world.  –Martin Buber

“In loving ourselves, we love the world. For just as fire, rock, and water are all made up of molecules, everything including you and me, is connected by a small piece of the beginning.

Yet, how do we love ourselves? It is as difficult at times as seeing the back of your head. It can be as elusive as it is necessary. I have tried and tripped many times. And I can only say that loving yourself is like feeding a clear bird that no one else can see. You must be still and offer your palmful of secrets like delicate seed. As she eats your secrets, no longer secret, she glows and you lighten, and her voice, which only you can hear, is your voice bereft of plans. And the light through her body will bathe you till you wonder why the gems in your palm were ever fisted. Others will think you crazed to wait on something no one sees. But the clear bird only wants to feed and fly and sing. She only wants light in her belly. And once in a great while, if someone loves you enough, they might see her rise from the nest beneath your fear.

In this way, I’ve learned that loving yourself requires courage unlike any other. It requires us to believe in and stay loyal to something no one else can see that keeps us in the world–our own self-worth.

All the great moments of conception–the birth of mountains, trees, of fish, of prophets, and the truth of relationships that last–all begin where no one can see, and it is our job not to extinguish what is so beautifully begun. For once full of light, everything is safely on its way–not pain-free, but unencumbered–and the air beneath your wings is the same air that trills in my throat, and the empty benches in snow are as much a part of us as the empty figures who slouch on them in spring.

When we believe in what no one else can see, we find we are each other. And all the moments of living, no matter how difficult, come back into some central point where self and world are one, where light pours in and out at once. And once there, I realize–make real before me–that this moment, whatever it might be, is a fine moment to live and fine moment to die.”

Small note about astrology: I am relieved to see the end of the 18/19 year eclipse series with the eclipses in Aquarius/Leo (Tropical zodiac). This last Leo eclipse was in Cancer/Capricorn nodes, but it was symbolically the end and the beginning of another chapter.