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There’s such a challenge to be magnificent in life, especially these days. Just to get up. Just to step out.
Yesterday I got 100%s on my two comprehensive tests, both written and practical. They were called that, even though they weren’t the comprehensive, comprehensive tests (and one day: Boards). Lessons in misnomers: they abound.
I don’t always get perfect grades. It’s not that big of a deal – at least to me. I am graded endlessly. (which means I am tested endlessly – and who is prepared/present 100% of the time?)
*breathe, Ka* The reality is that no one is.
But there are people… who…
At Gangaji’s retreat she said, “We meditate, because, no one is good at it! It keeps us humble.”
I mean, it is important to me to score well, because I do work really hard (and smart!), every day, so it’s important to me to have something to show for it, but when I work really hard and still have nothing to show for it (until maybe one day in the future) it’s important for me to love myself even more (Thanks Matt Kahn!) for giving my heart to my work, to my every day, for just being, and for doing it, for awhile! By the way, I am good at being. I really am. I am. I am. (there’s my plug.)
It’s the touch that I’m after, though: “the touch” on many occasions, I’ve been told that I have, but not all the time, 24/7. There is no guarantee with these things, there’s no 100% in real life. Of course the goal isn’t to be in the spotlight. The spotlight has always felt uncomfortable. The goal is to be really effective. The goal is become more effective at being effective, over time.
Different things matter to different people. We score in different ways.
One day I was gifted (after a particularly challenging test because I was too exhausted to prepare properly) with a sweet croissant (I’m not gluten free at the moment but I still support gluten free options). Anyways, this wasn’t GF, but it was delicious! and my body is ok with gluten, and my body did devour said croissant.
My friend said it was because of something I did or said. I don’t expect this. This is not why i do anything! ever.
People who know me, know. i do not just do things out of obligation. my heart has the arms and legs and the voice. my brain is there. it hangs out with my heart. they share notes in their own ways.but obligation does not make me doeth.
I’m a little bit tired of being in graduate school, and I have years to go, so grades have literally made themselves irrelevant (thank you program!). Our TA’s are always like “no one is going to ask you what you got in such-and-such class, and on that one in a million test.” Maybe so. but some people do like to compete. I try to stay away from them. I know they are cool, too. They are super focused. I admire that focus, and determination. I know they want to be a better version of themselves – and they are pre-occupied with that. I have something to learn from them.
But different things are valued by different people. Different magnificences, if you will.
unique.
I know that when a fellow student (or myself on a bad day) gets a bad score, I don’t believe they are ineffective, and especially do not believe that they are unsuccessful or less magnificent. I believe that they were having a “a day, or a moment.” Honestly I don’t care what their grades are, or even if their hands are cold (because body-work! is always happening in cold rooms) I care that they are trying their best, and loving themselves (because that translates over to us all).
When I see my classmates show up, I feel inspired. It’s just like that. We have already all graduated. That’s already done. Now, it’s different, now it’s about that ‘inside work,’ and that’s the priority. If we are “caught being cool or magnificent and seen doing something” on the outside, in the world, that’s a particular bonus. Though we need our little nest to nurture ourselves, and maybe it’s a small nest, focused.
We all show up in different ways. That is magnificent. I am Magnificent.
My classroom patient had some neat experiences after she left my treatment table. I don’t take credit for them. She should [my patient]. Plus, my supervisor’s diagnosis was fascinating. My supervisors are Magnificent. We did spirit work. It was a good learning experience.
I am magnificent.
Eventually, one day, AGAIN, I will be paid in money for my learning experiences. I just want to really honor that process, because right now, I am rewarded in many different ways. I am the money. I am magnificent. I do wake up. I do show up. I do love myself. I am here to be “whatever i am.” It is golden. I have a cup of source, and it belongs to the ocean, so it is endless, and we each have it.
What’s more magnificent than the usual, everyday, though…? I don’t know. Now when I say “here we are” to my classmates, it makes me giggle. It’s like the same place that we have always been, but it’s brighter, shinier. It just is. because it is. My friend adds, “and there we were.”
And we share this paradise of struggle and overcoming. Someone remembers how we started out…and how far we’ve come.
There’s more ease. It gets easier; and that is magnificent, too.
*Thank you to Linda Litebeing at Litebeing Chronicles for hosting this challenge.She’s offering a free astrology reading so that’s awesome, right?! Go check her out.
This card came up in a reading for myself recently. It’s from MY favorite deck: Tarot of Spirit, by Pamela Eakins, PH.D. This deck has been working for me since 1998, and moved everywhere with me over time. Let’s give it an applause! I know I am in awe. This was the deck that inspired me to make my own, which I never did (at least yet!). To my credit, I was busy with school (undergrad). Sometimes in life we sacrifice for a better future (just like my ancestors did), and eventually, we do, we do arrive – and then, we keep arriving!
Meditation from Tarot of Spirit:
Leo, Virgo
Earthed/Grounded
Mountain Power
The Fire Father in Earth
builds lasting gardens
that produce and produce
the Earth Father
moves
through Cycling Time
surrounded by
Fire and Sea and Sky
Sons and Daughters
of Cycling Time:
steady!
Earthed/Grounded
Abounding Joy
tilling vast lands
investing well
and Time will tell
as intellects rise and shine and die,
fires rage, lovers sigh
Time will tell
the Earth Father
helps them all
through their Dark Age
constancy —
he knows them well
he himself was ill —
before he came to Man’s Estate.
Fiesta Estrellas 
Hi Ka! I love this post! Congrats on your accomplishment…but moreso on knowing that the score on the tests isn’t what matters…but showing up everyday…being!! Yes 🙂 Hang in there…I know how being in school can feel like a jail sentence…and one girlfriend told me it is like a jail sentence and you don’t have to serve the time again! Much love and many blessings! ❤
Hi Lorrie!
Thank you *very* much. It’s a long road, yes. This was only a mere snapshot. I really hope that I can find a way to transform the energy even more into something really beautiful – in art forms in addition to healing (and because of and despite the healing), in the free time that I keep trying to make, and maybe I’ll do it! It’s the struggle that churns the creative fires, yes? I feel like I’ve been in the middle of a huge forge for quite some time now. It’s a bit of a melting pot, and maybe I am a piece of metal being hammered into some sort of sword for a specific purpose. Thank you for visiting for a moment to feel/see my “I’m in jail” pain and feel my joy for moments when my head is above the water. I also feel very fortunate to be where I am, and to be doing what I am doing. I hope you enjoyed all my metaphor attempts! xo Love and thanks for the blessings here! Bright blessings right back!
Peace and Love, Ka
I LOVE that you are a piece of metal being forged into a sword!!! I have felt like that many times 😉
Blessings to you…and Happy Thanksgiving ♡
‘Here we are…and there we were’, (each of us responding to a unique and individual calling and time-travelling a path to get there)…’as intellects rise and shine and die’.
*breathe, Ka* The reality is that this is your time to shine 🙂
Hey Ka 🙂
How are you doing? 🙂
I’ll not be the last to congratulate you on exam success or the achievement of perfect scores, both of which are worthy of note, but I couldn’t let the opportunity pass me by without dropping you a petal, a wink, and a smile, and line to say ‘well done!’ 🙂
Your success should be celebrated Ka for it is indeed tangible reward for endeavours, energy, commitment, and compromise. I trust you find it encouraging, if not inspiring to receive confirmation of the quality of your learning and practice. I also find it understandable why you immerse yourself within your craft rather than reflect unduly on grades: there really are no markers or grades measuring passion, interest, loyalty and commitment, and certainly none defining ‘natural ability’. How, for example, would one measure the mysterious gift of having the ‘touch’? 🙂 I imagine for you, the sense of achievement is felt deeply within as personal fulfilment, and I hope, an acceptance of your gifts and capabilities? 🙂 One wonders if your skill and aptitude will have you become a pioneer within your field one day?
As to the rigors of learning and the sense of feeling jaded, I appreciate how it is, and how it can be. I had a favourite tutor once who used a visual depiction of Mount Everest as a wall poster to plot our ascent throughout the learning period. Visually, it was very good at describing the groups progress up the mountain of learning, and although the group had many ‘camp sites’ on our way up, the sense of achievement when reaching the top was magnified. Success for both the group and fulfilment for individuals. When the tutor was asked at the end of the training why they’d used Everest as a learning metaphor, the tutor asked us to consider George Mallory’s reply when asked “Why did you want to climb Mount Everest?” His retort was, “Because it’s there”, which has been called “the most famous three words in mountaineering”. I found it all very Zen 🙂
Many thanks for posting Ka, and permitting us to share a little of your success. It is a delight indeed to catch a glimpse of starlight and have you shine in celebration. Best wishes for continued success and progress towards manifesting your dream 🙂
Have a most enjoyable weekend. Take care
Namaste
DN – 18/11/2016
Dewin!
I so appreciate your enchanted company, and offering this campfire ‘pause’ while continuing the upward ascent! I spent some time re-reading your lovely (and epic poem). I began again at the beginning so I would recall our Buccaneer more clearly. Oh, I delight in the journey, no matter how weary. A day’s rest usually helps. Usually. Time for some Zen. 🙂 Oh, and Merlin, oh Merlin. I do want to believe he is all that he says he is. Let the writing continue! Sweet friend, have a draught for me, will you?
Aloha Ka
🙂 Thank you. I know the Buccaneer is wholly grateful for your esteemed company and fellowship along his path, and asked that I pass on his sincere thanks. Merlin, who is a little shy, thanked you for the trust you’ve shown in him, and hopes he won’t disappoint. He’s sharpening the quill as I write with a twinkle in his eye, which has me altogether in a panic to know just where his will will take me next! lol 🙂 He can be a mischievous rascal at times, leading me into all sorts of knotty circumstances and problematic situations within the story, and then standing back expecting me to resolve the dilemma! He tells me it is character forming, so I had best believe that to be true 🙂
You know I recall your post regarding the new ‘head’ you acquired. It was to that specific post that my thoughts on your recent success turned. I wondered if ownership of that head was a turning point in terms of revealing to you your skills and capability, not to mention your focus and intentions? I also wondered if you ever did name the head, and if so, what name did you give? I thought Chiron was apt, and when considering your success, I find it wholly appropriate! You are a clever girl, with gifts to share, and the passion to endeavour and persist. I’ve no doubt you are excellent at what you do and will always excel. It is your calling after-all 🙂
I will indeed follow your sagacious advice and sink a draught or two to fortify my spirit and return Merlin to the fray! I think he’s quietly enjoying an impromptu camp-fire pause and warming his tired, old bones. Would he were on the same peak as you, I’m sure you’d have plenty to talk about and discuss, and no doubt one or two secrets to share as well regarding the healer’s art. There is much he could truly learn from you! 🙂
I trust that Sunday has allowed you chance to take a breath and will leave you refreshed and invigorated for the week ahead. Best wishes!
Namaste
DN – 20/11/2016
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I love the poem here … and also liked reading your thoughts: we are so used to try to accomplish goals. Most times they help us become stronger and develop orselves— But the most genuine aims are the ones that comes from within, like when you challenge yourself, even in mysterious and subtle ways…. I wish you the best with whichever new goals you have set up for you, my friend. Love for your weekend. Aquileana ⭐
Aqui,
You always get it. Thank you for showing up here this weekend to say “Hi” ! 🙂
This has been a lovely weekend, and I hope yours as well. I look forward to more adventures with Plato and you and Christy.
Xo Ka
We all have different magnificences! Yes!
School sometimes just drags on and on and then suddenly you are done!
Your here we are and there we were sort of reminds me of a bumper sticker my girlfriend made.
“Been there, done that” is crossed out and under that it says Being Here, Doing This.
I love your magnificence, Ka!
Namaste
Hi Mary,
I love your magnificence, too! Yes, school is dragging on and on. It really is. Thankfully it does not feel like that every day, and I have a while to go…
This makes me think of a Robert Frost poem, if I may:
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
“Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Thank you for sharing about the bumper sticker. I think it’s very apt. “Being Here, Doing This.”
and I await the “suddenly done” feeling that I am fortunate to somewhat remember, even though I’ haven’t exactly done before, what I am doing now…
xo Ka
smiling to the wealth
of your treasure chest
offered for the better
ment of you
& all crossing
your star path, Ka 🙂
Smiling back to you, my friend
At home here,
breathing heaven’s scent
from bursting rose above
to feet dwelling below,
full in the dirt–
savoring this present moment’s
earthy pull
to the center. ❤
Where we all share the tangles of our roots.
Sky above in applause, twinkling in each other's eyes.
🙂
Dearest Ka,
The love and authenticity you radiate is evident in how you write and how you live. Your heart comes first and serves you well ( and those you serve.)
Congratulations on your boards and on your dedication to healing. You are the money and you are the past present and future all rolled into one. We all are, but rarely recognize we are simply magnificent by agreeing to be part of the planetary experiment we call LIFE.
Thanks for your contribution to my challenge and allowing us a peek into your world.
love, Linda ❤
Thank you Linda. I will not be taking the boards yet for a few more years. Spirit willing, I’ll get there! I absolutely agree that we are magnificent simply by ‘being here now.’ It’s truly an experiment. Thank you for your stewardship of this challenge. May it bring you lots of wonder to bask in, and fill your heart merrily as we do need – all of us– as much grace in life as possible, especially these days. Aloha, Ka
One more thing: I feel truly honored to spend my time with so many inspiring people on a regular, daily basis. On and off blogland and in my daily life ❤
I feel so much gratitude!
Hi Ka! Congratulations on the grades 🙂 And I love that meditation you’ve included here. Ohhh you are thinking of making your own deck? How wonderful! A project awaits ❤
Hi Christy! Thank you so much. Ahhh, the meditation is at the core of it. We are very fortunate, so very fortunate to get through our days like this! Maybe I’ll make my own deck one day. I’ll follow the inspiration of the moment. Xo
Projects are like little fun stepping stones – skipping stones… stones to play with that lead us from here to there. Happy Holiday Season! xo
You do leave such wonderful comments back to me and thank you for it! I wish you a lovely holiday season too ❤ xx
Congratulations Ka on a perfect achievement… I was always told be lucky for 80%… and IAM sure you’ll schooling will pass by quickly now… in the meantime enjoy your magnificence and all you engage in in life too… love the meditation words, quite apt for this time. Love to you dear Ka x barbara
Hi Barbara! Thank you! Right?! How good it is to celebrate! We’ll see how quickly schooling passes by, time flies when we are having fun. Then there’s the continuing education, and! may the inspiration to continue never end. Time is flying! 🙂 Bright blessings to you. ~Ka
Hi Ka!
You are indeed, magnificent!
I think you are spot on with your focus on showing up, and being effective, because I don’t think many people will be healed by your test scores, but by the beauty, the desire and the knowing that your indwelling heart and mind bring to bear. It seems like you are cultivating so many remedies in your heart and your field, that one day you will draw upon… Regardless of who is the right one to “take the credit” for what happened to your patient, I think it’s ultimately all of us. We give each other permission to entertain those new thoughts, to rest on the strength of who we are and what we’ve been given… Certainly the techniques are important! But you know, the beautiful moments in life seem always to defy convention. So you learn a base, but then you bring “Ka” to it. This is where I think you (will and currently do) excel!
Peace!
And Happy Thanksgiving weekend!
Michael
Hi Michael! Thanks for celebrating with me! 🙂 The beauty in all our magnificence is that we are all equal under the sun! ☀️️ We rest in who we are. Congratulations on the recent publication of your second poetry book! The world is richer for it.
Many aloha, Ka