If I’m middle-aged, I spent the majority of half of my life uninterested in ritual. Growing up I felt the rebellion to any type of ritual. For one, “ritual” meant to me as an activity that most people were disconnected from. I saw those who were living their rituals as just doing them for reasons unknown, usually out of habit, or by the shear influence of their society and culture. I saw a lot of people who seemed confined to their rituals. I didn’t want that for me. I didn’t want any structure for me. That was because I didn’t *understand* structure. However, the beauty of my path led me into true empowerment to where I could make and define rituals that were truly meant for me (and now my family).
To begin with, I started to become enlightened to the meaning of ritual when I studied anthropology at the University of Pittsburgh for my undergraduate degree. I learned that ritual not only provided structure but highlighted and connected people with their purpose. This doesn’t have to be religion–which is what the word ritual used to be confined to. Fortunately ritual is related to spirituality and this is why: with ritual we are creating space for our spirits to live. Ritual helps us “house” our time.
Now, I have always been interested in astrology. But not for the conventional reasons, but maybe for some of those too. Astrology has helped me connect to time in a ‘larger than community’ way. However, it has also connected me with community. There are so ways I could assess and think through how astrology has led me to ritual, but I don’t make a stink out of ritual. I still don’t want to be confined to it-so I’m not. It’s as simple as that. A ritual can be a simple “nod” to the inner part of me that wants to acknowledge the importance of space and time.
So, back to time: here I am. I am almost all planned for 2023. On that list of activities that I am signed up for is seeing Neil Degrasse Tyson. I am over the moon excited to see Neil Degrasse Tyson in 2023. My daughter has been attending a very wonderful “science” preschool with the most amazing humans who run it whom I have ever met. I’ve always loved science. But, I am not confined to science, either.
Back to ritual: I am writing out my calendar for 2023, and I am visioning and planning in ways I would never, ever have wanted to when I was younger. I’m doing it with delight and joy. This is not work. This is definitely pleasure. The previous 5 or so years, I started looking back over the last year. Basically the first part of my life, I had no ritual for reviewing the past or moving into the future. Now, I do. There’s momentum gaining in this process, and I’m excited about what’s around the bend.
Do you have rituals or do you dream? Do you do both? How do you organize your life? My years of “letting it happen” have finally co-joined with “making it happen” in a way that doesn’t constrain my soul. I feel this immense freedom I have not felt before. A lot of that freedom is coming from a new teacher I have been working with the last 6 months. I am looking forward to sharing more. But, I’d also like to hear a lot more from you!
P.S. One of my future goals is to take my family on an ancient library tour of the world. When shall I plan it for? Maybe in my 60s… Not sure yet.
24 thoughts on “Lovely Ritual”
Just for fun:
Here are some of my current rituals
*Daily journal writing
*Daily bed making and laundry folding
*Weekly watering of my indoor plants
*Monthly Clean up Day
What are yours?
I love this post, Ka, and your reflections on ritual and how it’s changed for you over time. I could relate to confusing ritual with religion, and then having the lightbulb turn on! When I worked in counseling, we used all kinds of ritual to promote healing – soothing bedtime for children, bringing families together, processing grief, improving communication, acknowledging beginnings, endings, and change. It’s so effective to step out of time and space into the sacred realm of intention. I love your plan to map out your year as a ritual. You inspired me to do that too! ❤ ❤
Yay! I’m glad I’ve recruited you into this new process ♥️. I love sharing inspiration 😃.
Having my understanding of ritual come before I had my daughter has been a definite boon! We have so many fun rituals for her and it truly helps build that security since infancy, and maybe one day, confidence within structure. She can make her own choices, but she has options, and doesn’t have to start from scratch! Yes and “setting out from time and space with intention,” as you say; and I love personifying time and giving it a home. I like things to have homes 🏡 and cozy. 🙂
Wonderful, Ka. Your daughter is lucky to have such a richness of love and intention in her life.
Can I go on the tour of ancient libraries with you? 😁
Sounds like a great idea! Let’s hold space for that. ♥️
Kudos for finding rituals and processes that serve you and help your move forward. I have many rituals now that serve my well-being, but none that support moving forward in my life with a plan or goals. It gives me something to consider. Thanks Ka.
My understanding finally opened when I dared to look deeper into my fears. When I saw what drove them, an understanding like nothing I could compare it to opened. It allowed me to open inside fully and see the world truly…and let it go. That allowed my spirit to truly interact at will and go where it/I needed to discover so much more. Like you the first half of my life was to understand that ‘conditional’ side of us so that we could open to the ‘unconditional’ in our wisdom of experiences. Great post dear lady, all of our journeys can be so different but still arrive at that love within 😀❤️🙏🏽
Thank you, Mark! I can see how you are viewing my post. I love it!! Yes, the ritual has become an expression of self love and it is unconditional. I like the way you wrote “that allowed my spirit to truly interact at will” and yes “to discover more…” perhaps there’s an understanding that happened for me beyond understanding ritual, but understanding my life as an extension of ritual through my purpose. My new and evolving rituals are a celebration of that self-understanding but also a deepening of my devotion to the life which spirit has given me to lead. They are rich with symbolism and magic. I will make the most of my time on this planet, for the better of all of us, as I delight in this process I’m continually discovering! 😃 Thank you my dear friend for your words and expressions, which are so welcome here ♥️
Well said dear lady, definitely the words of an adventurer, in heart and mind 😀❤️🙏🏽
To Dream and plan, is to project our desires into reality … I cannot think of a better way of manifesting our Dreams… To foreword plan.
Do I have a dream….. oh yes…. I see abundance for all, with smiling happy children running free in nature.. No more fear, only love and security and safety. . I see Humanity at one with nature and our animal kingdom… I see people cooperating with and helping each other, I see communities that help and volunteer gladly helping each other with their skill base. .. I see natural healing and healthy lifestyles,
I Dream a lot Ka…. 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤ 💜😘
I’m with you in all those dreams, Sue! ♥️
I am a combo of rituals and dreams. I’m uncomfortable with sudden change so I like ritual, but I also have high aspirations. xx
Cool! I love learning more about my friends’ styles. High aspirations definitely help us reach out of our comfort zone! It’s one of the things I love about you! Dreams give us a sense of freedom to live beyond how we perceive the “reality” of now. 🙂
LOVE what you wrote! xxoo
This is so timely~ on my run today there were these new little signs along the trail with questions like, “What habits do you wish to leave behind this year?” and “What decision have you put off this year?” It struck me as the kind of questioning we do around New Years so it was interesting to be nudged to think about those kinds of big picture as daily habits kind of things in early October, and then I read your blog that also delves into the same sort of things! Sorry for the run on sentence but it’s so exciting when there is synchronicity like that! 💜
Oh thank you! I love your run on sentences. I read somewhere once that people actually like to read run on sentences. I don’t have time to try to dig up the source right now but it struck me as ironic and a new fun thing to know 😉 because I like to write them.
Oh that is sooo wonderful that you are getting those kinds of signs!! Thank you for sharing that! I believe that it might be happening collectively then, which feels very up-leveling for the greater collective consciousness, even if only some are called. This just feels like a great time to get things clear instead of waiting until the crunch time at the end of the year when we are too mind-filled. It’s like being “ahead of the curve.” I feel more prepared for my future, if that makes any sense! 😃 I love it!
I love ritual, Ka. It’s essential to making sense of the human experience, I think. xo
Thanks for chiming in, Pam. I really agree with you, and making sense and developing meaning in purpose is essential to human experience. ♥️
Hi Ka. I don’t have rituals per se but I do meditate/pray and try to keep my vibrations high. And I’ve always been a dreamer – 😉 sometimes my friends would remind me to ground and come back down to earth. 😂 great post.
Thanks for chiming in Bernice! I think another word for ritual could be “practice.” And I look at meditation as such, and I use the word ritual, here. It’s a lightened version of “ritual,” as I experience it. I would be so curious to know how many of your dreams have come true!!!!♥️🌟