This era is weird. We have so much social media—so many inside jokes, memes, small little culture clusters. Technology. Our language and communication is now very dominated by technology. We have social media that offers us quick canned responses, too. This is the trend. This is the dominating culture.

But blogging is different.

It’s more substantial.

I’ve been living in Southern California for about a decade. Before I came, the word on the street is that it’s shallow here. I waited for a while to form my opinion, but I think that’s true. It’s difficult to put into words, but the connections are harder to forge. It’s more about business and being savvy. When talking with clients sometimes I am told that this is also about the newer generations. Social media. Everyone exists on social media. I’m not sure if it is the younger generations pushing this momentum of more online validation, but I am hungering for something more authentic, more meaningful and substantial in our human to human interactions.

So, what to do?

How can we make a world for our children where it’s okay to be ourselves. Why have we gotten to the point of “influencers” as being the new standard for an expert. We have lost actual experts, actual legitimacy. What is valid and what is “real” is constantly threatened by the growth of tech adoption. Now, I’m a fan of tech in many ways, don’t get me wrong. I just have a strong wish for more relating and connecting and growth and less of the “likes and follows” types of validation that our quantifiable world has centered in on transactional validation.

What are your thoughts? Do you have some pros and cons? How can we strengthen humanity and what makes us human in the field of communication? What can be done?

20 thoughts on “Friendship

  1. Excellent post Ka. I’m am so with you. Quite frankly, I feel technology has just gone too far. Kids today are missing so much – especially social etiquette. Go anywhere and watch the phone zombies attached to their phones. People having conversation with speakers on, as though the rest of the public wants to hear their blaring conversations. Robots taking over for human everywhere, taking their jobs and again, good bye to social interaction. And the ones getting so lost in the sea of digital are the seniors, who are great targets for the online scammers. Now we have to worry about AI and all the dangers that come along with said perks.
    I miss the old human race – the one that was more human. ❤

    1. Yes, thank you, Debbie, for contributing your thoughts! Sorry for my delayed response–things got simply super busy after I posted this. (Then for two more days I had a half-way written response because I was interrupted). I’m sure you can relate! LOL I agree that we need real interaction and real conversations. I really don’t like all the online scammers which do seem to grow in proportion. The seniors once my generation gets to be a senior will simply find the world to be unrecognizable, I’m sure. I am already seeing it now. There’s so much to consider, but the most salient point I think we are both reaching here is that we need more **humanity** in our world. We want a more human and connected experience throughout the business/busyness of life– one that is kind and present and not scammy, aloof, nor indifferent nor worse. Thank you again, Debbie, for your thoughtful response! Wishing you a wonderful weekend! I am busy getting ready for my daughter’s birthday party; she’s turning 4.

  2. I think we just have to do it. Set aside some time in our busy schedules for real interacting. We have game night once a month with friends and we’re starting to venture out again post pandemic. Like the stone we throw into the water…it’s one small stone, but the ripples from the one small stone expand. We just have to start and the ripples will happen. 😉

    1. Hi Dani, You are absolutely right. It’s a weird place to be very busy but also be craving that simple connection in real interaction in real life. I love that you all have a game night once a month with friends!! A proposed to a friend and colleague of mine that we get together for dinner every other month–that seemed slightly achievable. LOL. She was interested. I’ve had others reject me outright in my recent past. I keep my efforts up with trying to connect with others in a meaningful way (and meditation) so that I can live feeling more fulfilled and enriched. Here’s to the ripples in the pond! Thank you, Dani.

  3. Undoubtedly, social networks came to set guidelines in our lives and we cannot get away from them if we want to be up to date in today’s world. Now, in my humble opinion, in order not to lose the human side in this relationship, we only have to be authentic and consistent with what we write. You have to have your own personality and they generate conversations that allow us to get closer to the people with whom we interact. Just like you do with this article. Have a nice Tuesday KA.

    1. Manuel, being authentic and consistent with what we write is part of the equation–absolutely. The written word is so powerful, it has the ability to connect us in ways as never before. Here you are, a person who I would otherwise have never met. We wish each other well and have high regards. Thank you so much for your comment and your lovely poetry. I appreciate you being part of my world. I’m wishing you a lovely weekend! xx

  4. I lived in So Cal for a short period from November 2009 to February 2011. I came from Texas which is a super friendly state and from Florida which is pretty friendly as well so that weirdness you are talking about hit hard as I don’t know a stranger. So it was weird that I would try to strike up a conversation with someone in line at the grocery store and they would ignore me or be rude.

    I really don’t know what the answer is, especially since so much is coming into a more virtual world. The time during 2020 and driving to keep people home or send people home has harmed this as well I think. I think social media has made some people more bold and allowed some that wouldn’t normally speak about things to speak out and have a voice.

    1. It’s absolutely ironic to me that it took me so long to reply to your excellent response to my post! I’m sorry. I have been carried away with life, and in the meantime, I have been examining this very topic! I think that Southern California/So Cal is filled with friendly people who don’t have time for more deeper engagement. I realize that I am becoming like this myself. When we say “lets get together” it almost never pans out. It’s very frustrating for me, because I put a lot of energy into “trying,” and only become disappointed. However, I am learning to adapt and adjust–and accept. I’m sorry that people didn’t strike up a conversation with you here at the stores (it wasn’t Trader Joe’s because they love to talk and ask about your weekend!). I do tend to do that often with people here (chat in public and in line) and people are often responsive–though I don’t do it all the time, because sometimes I don’t feel like talking. For me, it’s more that people don’t go deeper. There’s a lot of acquaintances and very few friends. I’m told that I am not alone in this (for this location). So I am curious about the world. I’ve lived here for over a decade now. How is it out there? So thank you so much for your response.

      I agree with you about social media making some more bold. In my experience, for me, it has made me more shy. It’s strange, I know. I used to be a more “in person” type of connector. Well, all things change; I suppose it’s time for me to change too. Let’s see what happens. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kel. Very appreciated!

  5. Many moons ago I found northern and southern cal to be friendly, but we live in a very different world now. Social media has some pluses (support groups, staying in touch with friends and loved ones far away) but I fondly remember and sorely miss the times before the tech age. Even though I’m computer literate, I find this world of technology and everything lived online to be isolating and exhausting. We can hardly do anything in person anymore, everything must be done through multiple forms filled out online…it’s very difficult and sometimes impossible to just get biz done in person or reach someone by phone. I miss the simpler times. Humanity has suffered I believe and the pandemic made it worse by a million-fold.

    1. Hello new friend!
      It took me a while to respond because of life. But I want to tell you: imagine my gratitude and happiness to meet a new kindred spirit online the way because of your first comment on my blog post! Thank you for your chiming in. I think that what I’ve noticed is that here in S.California, we are all busy with the grind and the hustle of life. It’s just the culture here. I live here now, so I am going to love here now. Since I wrote this post, I reflected on what I can do to bring more energy into my space in a way that satisfies me through connecting in a meaningful way. By the same token, I have this immense gratitude for your blog response and we can quite clearly commiserate about how all the business seems to need to be done jumping through multiple forms online! You almost can never get a real human on the phone, as well.

      I love your blog name! “Mother Wintermoon” it’s beautiful! The benefit of social media is indeed meeting each other in this forum and contributing to the removal of ‘some’ of the isolation! Wishing you a beautiful, fulfilling weekend.

  6. Have you seen the recent warning from the surgeon general or someone like that about social media and teenagers. Something like more than three hours a day can be very risky/harmful. Three hours a day seems like a lot. Sometimes I get very tired of social media and the internet in general. That’s when it feels good to go outside or just putter around the house. I have a good friend from high school who moved back to this city. We don’t see each other much and she is not on social media. When we do get together at her house and just hang out or play dominoes it’s very relaxing.

    1. Hi JoAnna, I had seen this recent warning from the surgeon general! It seemed to be in the news are the same time as my post. We have known for a long time now the dangers of social media–however, socially, very little is being done about it. Social media is literally ubiquitous. Sure I have eschewed it in the past, as have others, but the fact of the matter is so many systems now rely on it. I am more concerned about the children, than anything else. We adults have the tools to deal with the consequences of our social media use. Yes, it’s not all bad. But it’s been studied to show increased anxiety, depression and comparison. People can now compare themselves to others who are beyond their local network and social strata than never before. I think the virtue of being human makes us all vulnerable! Shortly after I wrote this post I got very busy with life. However, I still craved that human connection–this was despite my visiting company! I want more friendship and community in my life and I want to do whatever i can to make it happen. I meditate daily to offset the intensity of life! Even this is not the sufficient alone time that I need.

      Going outside and just puttering around the house sounds amazing! I love that you have a friend that you can get together with and just hang out or play games. I am definitely lacking that kind of simple friendship in my life. I know a lot of it has to do with the “stage” of life that I am in, having a young child and focusing on building my career while continuing to hone my expertise in my crafts–but I do wish I had a friend who would just come over and have some tea and dream up things with me and maybe even do some projects together–just for fun! Thanks for reading and commenting. Thank you for being part of my online community. The online community is certainly a gift that I wouldn’t not want to exchange for anything, actually. Bless you. Have a marvelous weekend!

      1. I remember those years of having a young child and focusing on building my career. It’s great that you make time for your crafts, too. When my kids started school, my friendships were with the moms of their school friends. This friendship from high school was dormant for many years before we reconnected. We still don’t see each other often, but it’s nice when we do. For everything there is a season. Peace and blessings to you, dear. I’m thankful to know you through this online community.

Please drop me a petal from your beautiful self and let me know that you visited :)

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