Savoring my 30s

no where near my birthday now,
steady on the end of current age-platform
this juicy decade gave way
to a certain level of clarity
that the 20s could not provide

and it took me into a deeper experience, than my 20s world travel
would, when i was across the world after 911, and during it, before
globalism became what it is today.

in my earliest years a
philosophical child,
my father explained death,
i was 3. he says he remembers my
face.

“really? you mean everybody dies?”

i lived in questioning – a strong muscle made from previous starry lives.

seeing this face in the candid photo
of my mind’s eye. seeing into past, present, and future.

now i am well-pondered, but don’t
have too many wrinkles, confirmed
by estheticians and medical assistants of skin care –

amused?! am i? there’s a lot of sleep i’ve missed thinking thoughts, places where wrinkles rolled and crimped and
limped, and wimpered.

now i regard time with a tentative eye–been in love with pattern and cycles and appreciating ephemeral
beauties.
lost friends to death, too early,
all unfair.

now youth is all i know, and better than ever. my 40s will likely be,
much younger than i’d ever have been
had i not lived deeply enough before them.

and evermore my memory restore
all that passed in the slips and dips
of the turns and spaces that burned.
i was accompanied by so much crap
i’ve shed. I’ve led a good life leaving behind. I’ve led myself out of the wilderness.

But in my 30s longer still, will fill this marvelous cavern of emptiness
that i am, until it brims over and replete with sparkles and tastes, and know that each moment, i have lived
with my senses, my body is my ally, my wonderful home, my poem.

I’m building beginning upon beginning
and growing more simple, cute and endearing. Love to you, my body, my friend–my accomplice! We have some wonderful adventures ahead! let’s enjoy this space we’ve created to play!

**
i just wanted to outwardly appreciate my youth in a way i couldn’t when i was young, acknowledging that I am still young enough, and growing truly younger. cheers for all the kiddos in the room!

22 thoughts on “Savoring my 30s

  1. When we go through youth, everything is faster. Time only lasts 12 hours when you’re in love and 32 when you’re depressed about losing that love. Everything is possible to do and nothing stops that train without brake. When we pass it, we only have the memory. Everyone lives in their own way. I liked reading you, regards.

    1. I enjoyed reading your thoughts, and so glad to have a sense for your reflections. The quality of time can certainly change based on our internal conditions, state of mind, and circumstances. To live life as a poet and to live and breath in even faded memories of these fleeting periods is worth all our loving, grieving, and however we imagine our time alive, I want to squeeze the pulp out of it and miss as little as possible. It’s more about the ‘now’ than the memories. So I want to be ‘here and now.’ Blessings! Thanks again!

    1. Your perspective reflects me as accurate. Thank you for reading! I want to enjoy these months as best as I can and so on and so forth. It’s so good to practice this enjoyment. It’s so strange how practice does really make it easier. What a contrary result is effort : resulting in ease, and while ease brings its own reward, sometimes our short-cuts don’t cost us, but fuel the fires of our efforts where they are needed. So much fun to encounter these moments with you and others! Happy Day and week ahead to you, Brad! May you be carried where your heart takes you.

      1. Awesome! I love that! Contentment is definitely something I’ve been cultivating, and also “letting go,” it’s a combo that eventually balances out to a clear-eyed satisfaction, if you will πŸ™‚ I send you infinite blessings, Brad…. Grateful for your time here πŸ™‚

  2. ‘i lived in questioning – a strong muscle made from previous starry lives.’ What words, what words. I also love what you say about not appreciating what we have when we are young. how can we? We know nothing else but to be fearless and that the world is waiting for us. And that’s a good thing, not because we have no idea what is round the corner but because we still have so much to learn x

    1. Thank you, Shey! In a sense, the world is waiting for us! So we have to dust ourselves off again and again, and keep going, going, going because we have no idea what is around the corner. We do eventually get the sense that going around that corner is the key to finding out! We do it when we are young almost by accident, when we are older we do it with purpose and determination. ❀

  3. Hello Ka!

    It’s so true that shedding that old baggage rejuvenates us! (Re-youths us!) To keep that youthful joy of discovery sensation open, and not to harden or solidify around past experiences, is something that I think keeps us both young of heart, and whole. It is not easy. Takes wisdom and courage and forgiveness and all the things we learn as we go… Wishing you a beautiful here and now!!!

    Peace
    Michael

    1. Shedding baggage, karmic miasms, false assumptions, misperceptions, empathic disturbances…. the list goes on. It takes wisdom and courage and even more patience than most of us have, until we get more patience we didn’t know we had!… Wishing you *also* a beautiful here and now!! Happy MLK day!

  4. I remember well reaching that landmark birthday πŸ™‚ it felt better than I expected, So did the next decade, those dreaded 40’s the 50’s were better still and the best yet was this last decade.. The wrinkles are only on the outside while inside we get to shine and feel renewed..
    Keep shinning, and enjoy those decades yet to come, but never forget to enjoy the moment of now.. For in truth this is all the time we truly experience.. ❀

    Love and Blessings dearest Ka… ❀ hugs my friend ❀

    1. Fortunately i have a little ways to go so I am savoring (or hanging onto ;0) ) the moments as I would any moments, but also knowing it does get better and better. It really does, so far that’s what I see. This time is all we have, and you are so right about that! This is the moment where we can access any time and drop our false perceptions, in this moment! Love and blessings back, Sue! Enjoy connecting! Hugs xo

  5. What a wise and playful poem! As I savor my 60s, I find your words of love and appreciation for the body so valuable, I want to adopt them. “my body is my ally, my wonderful home, my poem.” This attitude will serve us well now and in the adventures ahead!

Please drop me a petal from your beautiful self and let me know that you visited :)

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