Committing to the moment

I told Susan I could commit to “right now,” on day 1 of 40 days of abundance journey. You can follow the journey here. I’m curious if I will show up for more.

What you see written here is the guiding thought Susan provides at the link above, a daily guiding thought for 40 days. What is underneath that (thinking in layer) is my reflection on the guiding thought, which led me to want to express through these paints that I am experimenting with.

They are a new medium for me and I wanted to give them a brief “test drive.” I don’t have the proper paper, but this was just an exercise to loosen up and introduce myself to the medium.

You might remember from my previous posts:

Here and here where I work with 5 minutes at a time: art and meditation.

Susan’s dedication and commitment (Day 1, today) asked us what we could commit to, and I did approx 5 min of expressing and reflecting from the guiding principle. My desire was to bring some color to my page in a way that didn’t take me too much time and was also part of a deeper process: All is Good.

You might recall that I talk about not having a lot of time, that’s remains the same, and even less time with my little kiddo.

Why the Toucan? I’ve been working diligently on my apprenticeship with my Medicine Woman 8th ray magic: Rite of the 12 celestial regents. See this about the program, with its goal of “purpose good.” This toucan appeared to me as one of the guides I am working closely with for the month based closely on the moon’s phases. For some of my readers might recall that I am a shamanic practitioner having studied for over 5 years in an official way, with this teacher, and many many others, before that I was “self-taught” and practiced independently.

With Susan’s guided thoughts in the Journey of Abundance, there’s really no distinctions being drawn about teaching or self-teaching. There’s this inner commitment and the path of the true self, the divine one of all. I’m fortunate to have so much support in my art and spiritual pursuits. I have spent so much of my life on some type of “journey” in a spiritual way. Next week I will be 40 years old.

I can thank Janet from here, for her inspiration during her virtual trip to Wales. See the link to join the trip! Because of Janet, I did a couple of sketches of my daughter (toddler) a couple of weeks ago and keep slowly doing little bits of art here and there when I can carve out the time. She also inspired to get the type of supplies that I am now experimenting with here in this photo: gouache and tombow pens. Yes! This is exactly what I need to squeeze into my days!

~ 💗~

My beloved grandmother passed away last week. I’ve been grieving and celebrating her presence in my life. We had tough months where family couldn’t visit her due to Covid lockdown at nursing homes for 3 months. She’s lives across the country from me. She had dementia and was 99 years old. She survived pelvic and femur surgery last year in 2019 after a fall, but she and her sincere strength–so blessed as she is–was ready to move on. Family was able to visit hospice at the end, and it was a long process. I was able to see her on FaceTime and project my voice so she could hear me, though she was unable to talk in her final weeks.

A big artistic inspiration is her family homeland in Italy, where she grew up, and where I visited for the first time in 2016. I hope whenever I have time I can go back and use those pictures as “jumping off points” for future artwork. Also, I was so in love with the village of Crickadoon in Janet’s Wale’s trip, I want to circle back there and take up my supplies and use those for inspiration. For now I have spent all day catching up on a myriad of other things that I am far behind on. Already this post is well beyond the 5 mins I was trying to keep to minimum.

I am grateful to have been able to do shamanic journeying for my grandmother, and to be part of her process, for responding to her needs and listening in to her requests at a time when she couldn’t talk. Also grateful for being such a close companion to her as a child, which she remarked about continuously throughout the years. “She was good company,” referring to me.

May she Rest In Peace. So loved.

17 thoughts on “Committing to the moment

  1. Much love to you. I’m sorry for your loss, but grateful you had such a beautiful journey. Toucans have become a sort of totem to me in these last couple years– it was lovely to see one here. 🙂

  2. I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother. How wonderful that you were so close to her as a child and at the end as well. That must have been so rewarding and comforting for her, to remember you then, and have you with her still as she was preparing for her next journey. My hope my granddaughter will do the same for me..

    1. Thank you, Deborah…. i feel so fortunate my grandmother modeled “health and vitality” for me in so many ways. Her spirit is inspiring to me, and continues to be….
      Your sweet granddaughter, I’m sure, appreciates all the “stepping in” you’ve done while her parents have had tumultuous lives. You’ve done a lot of raising of your granddaughter by yourself! I wish you a continued wonderful relationship and journey as your souls have a special connection 💕🌸

  3. That is a lot of expressing for you Ka. I’m sorry for your grandmother’s passing and excited for your birthday, and continuing journey of growth. I hope the art, creativity, and teachers serve you well. Hugs and blessings…

    1. Thank you, Brad! I did express a lot here. My grandmother was an example to me of living a satisfied life: her health and wisdom about the importance of health reflected that. She had certain reliable sayings and she also exhibited a lot of gratitude for the blessings in her life. We do miss her very much.

      Thank you for being excited for my birthday! I’ve come around to being excited too, now. I am learning and growing very much, every day. Thank you so much, Brad. Hugs back! I appreciate you!

  4. This is a beautiful post, Ka. What an amazing woman your grandmother was. I feel her spirit coming through you in your words. You inspire me to keep my sketch pad closer, within easy reach and to let my ideas flow freely to the paper instead of piling up in the nooks and crannies of my brain. Enjoy your birthday!

    1. Your comment is beautiful, JoAnna! Thank you for feeling her spirit. 💓 That makes me so very happy!!

      Also, I am so glad to inspire you! That’s music to my ears and light to my soul. All I want to do is encourage that! Looking forward to more sharing from you and those nooks and crannies and all those other spaces you might have not yet thought to look where creations are kept and looking to be liberated! I appreciate your being here! 💗

  5. Dearest Ka…I am so sorry for your loss. I am happy that you were able to make a connection in her last days. That has to be one of the worst effects of this pandemic; that people have to spend their last days on earth completely alone without loved ones to comfort them. I am certain you will always feel your connection to your grandmother! And I am certain that she knew you were there.

    I love your experiment with the paints…and a toucan…hmmmmm. I remember back a few years ago you told me to look up manatees as a spirit animal. Yesterday I was on my paddle board in the intracoastal and I looked down and thought it was so strange to see such large “rocks” where I was…and to my surprise the rocks moved and I realized it was a mommy manatee with her baby!! What a gift. But at that moment as I was trying to tell my friend, I fell off the board. The baby was venturing towards me and where I would normally have thought it was so cool, I was paralyzed with fear. I tried to get back on the board and the fear made that very difficult! I remembered when you told me to look them up…I did not look again yet…but I will. Any way it seemed important to tell you for some reason…

    So this is also “next week” and I don’t know the day but I am sending the best Birthday Wishes to you!! May this next year of your life be filled with so much abundance and understanding! Sweet Blessings, Ka. I am grateful I share this time with you ❤

  6. Pingback: August Blog Bingo – Fiesta Estrellas

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