It’s okay to step away from the whole “the Universe is teaching me a lesson” paradigm. Sometimes things are the way they are because of a zillion potential reasons. And, sometimes, mercilessly, there is no reason. We still have the responsibility to deal with what arises. But it does not help to recycle the age-old idea because it’s near-neighbor is the concept of punishment and karma. While these things may be potential reasons for why things happen, they don’t express the love and peace and wholeness of the universe—which is the universe’s true nature. I take this stance because the universe is inert, in a sense, and very receptive. There is the peace in the space, in the nothingness of it. It “absorbs” all.
These “teaching a lesson” concepts are not helpful for people who are in the midst of true struggle and dark night of the soul. What people need are Earth angels (and otherwise). They need people who understand and intuit without having to look through the lens of their own struggle (and be clouded by it) but when they can deeply tap into the universal struggle that we are all susceptible to. One’s good fortune should never be taken for granted. It’s too easy to want to fall into the new age “Law of Attraction” and desire for manifestation! While all these things and many others have their positive and fruit-bearing ways, they do not fulfill the need for us to focus on becoming the most healthy we can be so that we contribute to others. And often we contribute to others even while we are unhealthy, broken, and in need of support ourselves. We can do both, and we must do both. There’s another maxim that gets recycled over and over again about the oxygen mask on the plane. Yes, you should take the oxygen mask first, but you can’t wait until you safely get off the plane before helping others. How do we help others? I don’t know. What I do know is that I intend to speak up a lot more about my opinions, my experiences, and what I think is more productive, efficient, and what I perceive as more loving. I’m not doing it in a writerly way, I know. This is all about undressing the writer and being without her craft, just to be here, fully. For the purpose of my own communication & growth. I am a living experiment and I always have been. Those who have known me since my teens and twenties would know this is my consistent approach to living a free life. But, I didn’t get my chronic pain until July 21, 2012. Regardless I use my old toolbox just as well as my new one.
What “new age” ideas could you do without (for a little rest-break from them)? How would you prefer to reframe some of your experiences so that you can better process them? What super powers have you developed since dealing with chronic pain?
16 thoughts on “Lessons & Paradigms”
As you may know from my blog Ka, I’ve grown tired of the whole idea of self improvement, and let go of working on myself about 5 years ago. It has been much more helpful to focus on loving and accepting myself. And I’m weary of hearing that we manifest according to our attitude and energy.
You and I are together on that: focusing on loving and accepting ourselves is a true path to tread. It leads us into deeper more richer places of awareness, and I do believe it leads to freedom. I am so glad to hear you say that you do grow weary of hearing “that we manifest according to our attitude.” My thought is this: even if it is partly or even wholly true, it doesn’t help people who are tired of hearing it. It doesn’t lift us up. What lifts us up, is being listened to and heard. It’s similar with little children. They want to be acknowledged where their at. It’s probably the same with all of us but I don’t prefer sweeping claims. Thank you so much, Brad.
Good summary and I agree about most often the best we can do for another is simply hold space, listen, and accept them.
It’s so important, Brad.
I love how you say I am a living experiment and I am with you on that. It is my consistent effort to feel the freedom of being myself, finding true source of joy from that. I think all these new age sciences work only from a place of clearing away our misguided beliefs and showing up as authentic selves, following our true spirit journeys while having human experiences and seeing them clearly for what they are. Only from this personal growth and discovery can we be of service to others, I believe. And we can do both simultaneously, or often looks like taking turns for nourishing ourselves first, so we are not depleted when we share and serve around to the fullest, and keep giving from there. I am a work in progress and learning from my experiences without being judgmental about myself for where I am.
I certainly savor your comments. The way you share your thoughts is simply beautiful, whether you are writing on your own blog, or here. Living free with acceptance of how things are is certainly one of the most effective ways I know of getting back on track, but the acceptance has to be genuine and sometimes the truth is we don’t know how long we will be hanging out with our more unwanted and painful experiences. This human experience cannot be denied while we rise and grow and accommodate our own growth, because growing by itself brings its own discomforts and challenges. I just wanted to illuminate characteristics of recycled new age thoughts that I have some trouble with from time to time. Some people feel punished by their challenges or so upset that they “have not learned.” But, sometimes, it’s just not personal. The life experience is just not a personal one and it’s not because of something we did or didn’t do that causes us sufferings. I know I am not the only one who sees this but it’s important for me to articulate it here in my space to do so. Thank you for answering these questions, it really is beautiful to experience your illumination on the topic and what it brings up for you. Much love your way, Ka
Thank you for your response dear Ka. I am with you deep heartedly and understand about at times feeling the dissonance with the self improvement concepts. I go through phases of turning off all modalities and voices when I am not able to connect with them. It becomes more important for me to seek to live and love exactly as I am, with practices that already help me, just simple everyday choices, not having to do anything more than what feels necessary. The only other thing that comes up for me to share with you is that judgment is always a lie. I do relate to feeling upset and personal about landing with the same pain again, and in that moment my self-judgment overpowers all capacity to see otherwise. It takes effort for me, baby steps, to come back to connecting to Consciousness does not Judge Anything. Even our upset self. It is ok to be angry or feel grief. I am sharing only what is coming up from personal experience. I trust that you will find your way with ease and love. Much Love my friend, take care.
My dear Pragalbha, I truly do not judge being angry or grieving or sadness. I let it flow from me as I honor my process. I too step away from modalities and practices in order to be right with my core and enter in and out of my core with my own guidance. This is why I wrote this post. I am struggling with a disc herniation that keeps me from enjoying my life with my loved ones—and from exercising as I would wish, and from exploring which has been my deep love and joy. I have been battling this for 9 years with a lot of success, a lot of the time. I even had a baby. That same wonderful child is now much bigger and heavier. I am not out of the woods, and the underlying issue I have causes me distress on many days. Though I have help by my husband and her preschool on most days, I am missing the joys in full. While I am still having many of the joys of watching her grow without me so much by her side. I will be gentle with myself, and I will continue to write and share, even if it’s not attractive to others. While I would love to lift people up, I’m doing “me” right now. I am doing exactly as I am capable of. I so appreciate what you share from your personal experience because it feels less lonely, as you can imagine. I feel you listen and hear me, and I am appreciative.
Extending all Love to you my friend. Love you for how you say “doing me” I truly applaud you for sharing authentically – I am learning to do the same more and more boldly. You inspire me in that and yes this is how it gets less lonely. We do need more of that in our world 💛
Thank you so very much, Pragalbha! 💛💛💛
I enjoy your authenticity and you being in my sphere so very much!! 💚 You are a bright light in my world!
My dear thank you for your authenticity in this post. You are speaking from the core of your being and it is being heard! Keep writing, sharing and helping others along the way angel xoxo
I am beyond grateful for your comment. 💖
Happy May and keep sharing your heart XO
I have to think about what my super power is…I know I’ve got one!! ❤ ❤