Cake image with natural wildflowers from abeautifulmess.com
It’s a new year soon, for me. I will be 43 years old.
Perhaps it’s this year where I realize it the most, that it is only myself who has the key to my heart. It’s not out there; it’s not even in nature. I’ve found myself ruminating a bit more this year, drawing myself inside–wanting more alone time. Is this my celebration? I ask myself quietly.
Leave it to Venus retrograding in my Solar sign of Leo…
What is the most important to me? This is a most pertinent question to me this year. I’m the only one with the answer to it.
My solar return chart.
This SR chart has my ascendant at 22 Gemini-which correlates back with my 5th house cusp on my natal chart. So, I’m expecting visual art to play a larger role in my year to come 2023-2024. I have a lot of 3rd house energy here, in addition: so mercurial with the Gemini ASC and the 3rd house SR sun. So, this is likely to be a highly communicative year. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have a lot of mental growth, networking, etc. Thanks to Mercury and Mars in Virgo (sigh) and I mean thanks, I can extend my organizational skills out into my house and home and my business/life generally, and specifically. Having the conjunction of Mercury and Mars in a trine aspect with Moon conjunct Jupiter in the last section of my 11th house of hopes, dreams, aspirations and group gatherings re-emphasizes that I will not be having a very “quiet” year. Taurus Moon/Jupiter, and loosely Uranus, squares my natal Sun, so there’s some friction there and enough to catalyze the many changes and mutability of what this 3rd house Sun year is asking of me. Saturn will be coming into conjunction with Neptune all the way in 2026, but the themes for how I relate to this big transit is already in the set-up or ‘wind-up’ stage. I like Saturn and Neptune to help me work more closely with the “essence of form.” Words are forms and working with them as containers and packets of light is a starter for me.
When I look over at the notes that I jotted down for myself on my Dreambook + Planner, I see that I wrote down “more reading and writing.” Also, considering this blog post: I am fast to get to work! What I love is that, even though Venus is retrograde, she is still conjunct my natal sun. I’m ready for a revamp. Leading up to my birthday, i found myself spending a week or two saying “my soul is tired.”
There’s this strong desire to redistribute my work so that I’m not wasting my time or energy. More energy in exercise and strengthening my body and mind to support my spirit is called for, this year.
When I was apprenticing under Franchelle Ofsoske-Wyber with the Medicine Woman studies, I did a really deep dive with each of the celestial bodies. I got to know them all in a very personal way, especially Venus! This was in addition to working with them for years and years on my own. I specifically learned how to “Draw down the powers of the heavens to ‘purpose good.’”
I’ll be working a lot this year with Venus, Virgo, and Gemini and using my 3rd and 5th houses to build my natal soul Sun in a more deliberate expression of that light. I do also expect to be driving a lot starting in September, so short trips and travel of 3rd house is already showing. While my SR chart has an empty 5th house, it’s current domicile is Libra which is ruled by Venus and my natal 5th house is being emphasized through the extra attention to Gemini themes.
My core values
Friendship
Honesty
Trust
Leadership through example
Community
Leaving places better than when I arrived: fixing them, enlivening them, cleaning them
Business as a sacred path
Abdunance as a reality
Compassion and Empathy
Spiritual Journey as the Spiral life path that ascends while descending into deeper levels of alignment and walking with the true way as guide.
Integrity
Kindness
Cultivating calmness and equanimity as a refined soul state
Being a Leo ♌️ Sun/N.Node gal with an Aquarius ♒️ rising and S. Node, I’m familiar with bringing balance through duality and embracing opposites. Opposites are quite often two sides of the same coin, with emphasis on the same coin. The people vs. the individual. Aquarius/Leo The collective helps form the individual, and the individual transcends the collective.
I have a really deep love for people. We are all so beautiful and vulnerable. I love how we hide 🙈 and I love how we seek. We are always reaching out and into the horizon of our dreams, seeking answers, comfort, company, adventure, novelty, love and answers, community and belonging. Part of the fun in life is reaching beyond where we are now, and who we are now. it’s about becoming more by gathering with one another.
A few weeks ago I volunteered my acupuncture services for a group at Camp Widow. I joined my alma mater and participated. I can’t even tell you how amazing it was to feel the spouses lingering nearby those whom I was serving. The previous mediumship courses I took really helped me to accept the messages I receive and the talents I already have for being receptive to those who have passed on. The love was so palpable. I consider it a privilege to bring comfort and lend an ear. This is the stuff that truly fills my cup, and I really always wished I could make a living by volunteering. Nevertheless, I try to offer my services if and whenever possible.
The continuum of being of service and living a life of service is a gift that keeps on giving. In my case, it doesn’t pay the bills yet. However, I keep giving and I keep loving. I have full faith.
In the light of this full moon, I feel the joy of reflecting on my good fortune to get to live a life of service, even if it doesn’t earn enough to pay the bills. I fully believe in my heart and my offerings. I know I will find my way and that Spirit will always provide for me. I know that we belong to one another.
Lately I have been taking the longest stretches in blog writing. It’s not really because I want to be away. I don’t. I want to be writing beyond my journal. releasing, rewiring, and sharing my journey.
Deeply connecting with myself this morning, I am revived.
I’ve been examining all the different styles I’ve lived in my life. Times of being virtually a meditating cloistered person to being a busy mother and family person, running my own private practice and volunteering.
Each week I still do my Hatha Yoga, Qi gong, Pilates and more. I meditate daily. However, it’s still nowhere near the previous amounts of meditation and contemplation. However, I am adding more resistance weight in my exercises, and my muscles have truly grown. Life has been giving me its own resistance measures and given me a run for my money—literally. The house work had increased exponentially last winter. Parenting is a process.
My capacity has been growing as well. Energetic capacity. Mental capacity. Emotional capacity.
I miss you all. I miss art the most. But my work is also one form of my art—so I am deeply fulfilled. I’m also very aware of writing as one of my pieces of self care. It’s really nourishing to traverse the spectrum of the inner world, or consolidate outwardly the awareness that is growing.
For now, I am happy with this.
The nodes change into new signs as well and we can start new journeys in relationships between self and other. Aries/Libra
It’s already been an eventful and busy season for me. Working in my home clinic fills my heart with purpose and meaning. Parenting presents challenges and also immense joy and self-development. To say I have been embracing the “fire” element would be an understatement. My transformation has been deep and penetrating. It’s on-going and who knows where this life is being led to—
Wishing you all a fantastic summer! I’m not sure when I will be back to blogging. I’m not sure if I ever officially stepped away for a break, but maybe unofficially took my time writing and used it elsewhere. This warrior training I have been doing is one of the things that sustains me to my core. Maybe I’ll always just be here. A break is just what happens, and then I’m back!
My heart captured this picture in June 2021. The elegance of the subtle soft pink fading into the edges guides the eye around the center to a royal, protected crown. Variable textures of soft and fading pinks transition to dotted, bouncy orange-browns, balancing rhythm and flow, enveloping while opening, to present this artistic sight for your viewing delight 😃🔆🌱
I began with this Azalea in resplendent BLOOMThen her blooms got tired—so added new pot and fertilizer to the bottom soilFinally I commenced with deadheading and removing the blooms—their ovaries!
I just learned about this process. The ovaries of the plants are where the seeds develop and it never seemed so personal to me as to be involved in this very process. The deadheading helps the plant focus the energy and not waste it on developing seeds.
Calling in more focus for me in my life. I have vital energy and I want to use it with promise. I want to explore and trial and error, but I want to be fruitful in my efforts.
Nature requires us to have many lessons in our development. I received 3 gifted plants that have died simply because they were overwatered when I got them and the timing was bad—we have not had much blazing sunlight to match that water supply and the plants drowned and rotted at their roots. I seriously grieve the loses of the Zinnia, the Sunflower, and my transplanted fig tree. I’m still hoping that the fig can miraculously wake up!
Deadheading is supposed to make way for more blooms! Let’s see what happens. Meanwhile I have an orchid that I cannot kill. It has so much mana, so much vital energy, that it inspires me to be like it.
I was about to say “goodbye” for the second time but this orchids leaf is growing and saying “STOP” I am ALIVE!!🔥
Recently I have been doing my daily meditations that I got from Briana Borten. Her husband Peter Borten is an acupuncturist and she is a spiritual entrepreneur. She’s amazing! She’s inspiring. They are both the owners of The DragonTree Spa. She also has her own businesses where she leads spiritual processes, coaching, energy work, and many other super successful offerings for her mentees. I have to grow to be in her sphere because she’s super expensive. Anyways, she’s amazing.
I’ve also been working with Joe Dispenza’s meditations on a daily basis. My goal for this lifetime is to achieve true and full emotional balance and to build a network and community of individuals I can live and love with. I have been trying to build a community for years, but I’ve struggled just the same. This is the trial and error I speak of. In the meantime, I work on myself every. Single. Day.
Here’s to the FULL MOON in Sagittarius ♐️ at 14 degrees! The Sabian Symbol is “Reclaiming old teachings that pass the test of time.”
Well, you see, it all goes together? We are planting the seeds of our future every day, with hope and faith. Know that I sense your life and your glow. I am aware of how ALIVE you are, and I’ll never let you go! Rise and Bloom and let the energy begin from deep in your roots first. Raise your hands up! You are divine!
I must add this Dane Rudhyar video that goes exactly with this lunation:
This era is weird. We have so much social media—so many inside jokes, memes, small little culture clusters. Technology. Our language and communication is now very dominated by technology. We have social media that offers us quick canned responses, too. This is the trend. This is the dominating culture.
But blogging is different.
It’s more substantial.
I’ve been living in Southern California for about a decade. Before I came, the word on the street is that it’s shallow here. I waited for a while to form my opinion, but I think that’s true. It’s difficult to put into words, but the connections are harder to forge. It’s more about business and being savvy. When talking with clients sometimes I am told that this is also about the newer generations. Social media. Everyone exists on social media. I’m not sure if it is the younger generations pushing this momentum of more online validation, but I am hungering for something more authentic, more meaningful and substantial in our human to human interactions.
So, what to do?
How can we make a world for our children where it’s okay to be ourselves. Why have we gotten to the point of “influencers” as being the new standard for an expert. We have lost actual experts, actual legitimacy. What is valid and what is “real” is constantly threatened by the growth of tech adoption. Now, I’m a fan of tech in many ways, don’t get me wrong. I just have a strong wish for more relating and connecting and growth and less of the “likes and follows” types of validation that our quantifiable world has centered in on transactional validation.
What are your thoughts? Do you have some pros and cons? How can we strengthen humanity and what makes us human in the field of communication? What can be done?
If you’ve been in the flow lately; you know there have been big changes with the shift of Pluto from Capricorn to Aquarius. This is a decades long transit. It takes several months for Pluto to get settled into Aquarius, so Pluto is temporarily in Aquarius at 0 degree, for now. This June, Pluto will return back to Capricorn until January 20,2024. Then be in Aquarius to September 1, 2024 before returning to Capricorn. Finally, from November 19, 2024, and after, Pluto will be settled in Aquarius until March 8, 2043.
As you can see. It’s not an “overnight” transit. In fact, no transits really are. There are some aspects that last a day or two in astrology and those are shorter lived events. Also the moon is void of course often for only part of a day. The moon changes signs approximately every 2.5 days, so those astrological influences are constantly changing. This is a lot like weather. In fact, I think astrology is basically like forecasting weather: looking at trends vs. certainties. Finally, if self-determination is your thing, I would definitely agree with you that self-determination takes priority over the influences of the cosmic weather. I do believe we are each responsible for making and co-creating our own reality. I favor the idea of co-creation, since I think we are always partnered with the universe and nature when we are crafting the trajectory of our lives.
It’s nice to take note of what is taking place from an astrological/astronomical perspective.
April & May Events
19/20 Solar eclipse at 29 Aries (the unusual second “new moon” in Aries)
April 21 – Mercury retrograde in Taurus at 15 degrees
May 1 — Pluto goes retrograde at 0 Aquarius
May 5– Lunar eclipse at 15 degree Scorpio
May 14– Mercury stations direct at 6 degree Taurus
May 16– Jupiter ingress Taurus
As you can see the above trends are changes taking place in the fixed signs. This can be ground-breaking in getting us out of our ruts and creating avenues of movement in our lives where we weren’t able to previously budge. The fixed cross of Aquarius, Leo, Taurus and Scorpio is being activated. Areas in need of renewal are around values and shared resources (Taurus and Scorpio) and self and community (Leo and Aquarius).
What themes have you noticed are activated for you right now? Have you found that some of your systems are getting changed or switched? Does the structure of your life look like it’s changing? If you saw yourself on a bridge and crossing it to the other side, what do you think you would visit on the other side? Look at these images below and comment on anything that arises. Are you alone or following someone else? Are you in a city or in a remote location?
Kenrick Mills photoCredit: Hert Niks from Unsplash
Ka Malana Photography 2023 Fleet Science Center Libra ♎️ 🌕
After the 5 day Pacific Sports and Orthopedic Acupuncture Symposium (PSOAS) conference which was amazing, wonderful, inspiring and so many things, I ended up with back pain. This time it doesn’t feel muscular but backs are tricky as I well know, because I treat them and take care of my patients. My pain started towards the end and this is despite that I made sure I was mobile by taking walking breaks, exercising my core, rolling out muscles and pacing myself. The pain still snuck up on me. I even utilized therapy of PEMF from the vendors, etc. which is amazing; you would love it.
If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know that I spent many years being in intractable back pain before and all through my education in getting my doctorate in acupuncture. As they say, it’s helped to build my character, and helped me go deeply into the purpose of life, my life, and really get into the grit of my spiritual journey here on Earth. Having regular back pain and fatigue, autoimmune irregularities and generally inherited health challenges, has helped me to see that I am an individual and cannot compare myself to others. This reality of my experience has really helped me deal with the suffering of my patients and helped them overcome their limitations.
My fellow shaman friend even gave me an energy healing while on the sidewalk last night as I went out to celebrate her birthday with her under the light of the full moon at the Fleet Science center. I watched a short planetarium show and got out of my seat early to try to relieve the pain. I’m glad I managed to make it out, but she was running late and didn’t manage to make it to the actual show. We met up afterwards and hugged. I have her a birthday gift and she gave me a healing while I was walking to the car. It eased my pain by about 15% and my drive home was much more relaxed.
What is to be learned from all this? There are times when we go through hardships, struggle and most certainly pain. It doesn’t make you wrong or bad. You will get out of pain again. I will get out of pain again. This full moon lit up my 3rd house with Aries ♈️ while Aries is on my 2nd house cusp and therefore both houses are activated. My self love and self esteem has been under review for quite some time and I’ve been working to fill the void. The full moon is directly at 16Libra on my natal Mars (which conjoins Pluto and squares my natal moon in Cancer). The astrology shows you I am definitely processing through THE STUFF.
I’m not on the planet to be a perfect person. I am here mostly as a wounded healer. My entire chart is aspected by Chiron. It is a necessity for me to keep going, and giving whatever gifts I have to the people who need them, to the people who I can help.
You are not alone. I see you. I am a fellow journeyer through the vicissitudes of life and it gets much brighter when we can see past and focus on the light on the other side of the stepping stone. My pain is my gain. I will not let it be in vain. I have learned so much from people who have suffered worse and from those who have suffered less. This is my innocence and my equality. I am a wounded hero of my own journey still in the making…
With this Full Moon in Libra, I release all the limitations from my being my highest and best self in this present life. I open to God/Goddess and all that is and accept my road with full appreciation for the value of this life that I get to live with all its advantages and disadvantages. I speak with gratitude that I am regularly humbled into my experience of awareness and ever-drawing-out light within me. May I become a beacon of hope for others. May my life give your life value and vice versa. And so it is! a’ho in munay, so mote it be! Amen!
Ka Malana Photography 2023Being observed — Ka Malana Photography 2023
Being observed while I had just wrapped up my lunch at the incredibly informative and mind-blowing conference of PSOAS—Pacific Sports and Orthopedic Acupuncture Symposium.
This sweet charmer was wiggling his or her nose at me and had the most pleasant while curious energy. This felt like the most natural encounter—clearly the little one does this a lot to other conference goers, although I was the only one around. But the dexterity and skill of the sneak-up, pop-up was unprecedented by others of its kind. This is career squirrel 🐿️
Flexible, quick-witted, and nutty… 🙂
Gotta love this animal medicine that impresses me while I’m being wowed in so many other ways, reminding me to be light-hearted, fun, and never miss an opportunity to say “hello there” 👋
I was playing with some water color pens for a few minutes while I had some time. I was enjoying making an outline and bringing my emotions into the ink choices.
Probably the most I fun I had was afterwards though. What I noticed is that when I took a photo, the colors didn’t look like they were on the page. What I had to do was to make adjustments in order for it to show up how I was seeing it in real life, on the water color page.
Often times we don’t think about how sometimes it takes a lot of extra “art” work to make something truly depicting the actual and real. We often walk around in society acting like the unedited object is the real object. However this is not often the case. In this respect, it actually takes skill to show the authentic—it takes editing.
We have to strive to bring the actual colors through. We do this spiritually, too. It’s not a ‘given’ that what you see, unfiltered, is the real thing. Filters aren’t always masks—sometimes they reveal and sometimes they allow or make it easier for us to see what’s *really* there.
We can’t erase the filter of the mind; a mind will always exist, because it is the nature of conditioning that our minds exist. Sometimes we just have to change our minds and replace our filters with more updated versions, editing our behaviors is what follows, so that what we get, in the end, is an expression of our true nature. This takes daily practice.
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