A Journey Out of the Labryrinth of Anger

What is a journey?  How much do you plan? For this journey, we just went for it…

On the road...
On the road…

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I can often use some time away to clear my head. It rarely fails to work. Around here, it’s not too difficult to drive away from the masses. That’s how I try to live, on the borders, the edges… so that I can get away when I want.

So what is a journey….?

Could transformation have something to do with it? How about the fact that on a journey, we often don’t realize where it is that we’ll end up! Perhaps we have some known elements: like, “I know where I’ll end up, but I don’t know how I’ll get there; or I know how, but I don’t know where; or, maybe I don’t know just when it is that I’ll arrive, but I’ve got all the other elements!” Rarely do we have all the elements.

On a journey, thoughts are just thoughts, extra things… we can let them go at any spot we choose. Everything is about Direction in movement.

How about here? Leaving deposits? In the beginning? Wait–> the annoying thoughts aren’t that annoying, just extraneous. I probably didn’t even realize then that leaving them behind here, was an option. But, it wasn’t ready yet. The ‘thing’ I was carrying hadn’t crystalized.

The mist, where we were headed, as seen from a distance
The mist, where we were headed, as seen from a distance

Realizing that we are headed into the mist, the journey is far more interesting; I decide to take ‘my stuff’ with me. The mist sort of drops and collects in the valleys, and it seems to move very quickly, as we were later to discover.

We think we know the destination when we start out – sometimes, as a strategy – we make that destination nebulous, though… like, “I’ll start out West, and go until I reach the ocean.” If our target is blurry, we think maybe we’ll be more likely to “get in the ballpark.” Fortunately, for the journey to be effective, rarely is it necessary to have a specific destination in mind, but we could just pick “something” so we get started.The important thing is that we need to be ‘ripe’ for the journey, like a fruit, we are ready to ‘fall to the earth.’

I’m reminded of a film I watched recently called, “Tracks,” where one woman wants desperately to just be alone, only to realize that ‘alone’ is all she’s ever known and felt, except with animals. Few of us, as with the Alchemist ,will ever realize the dreams within us; especially if we do not grab them, and listen to them. What are they? What is this nagging desire to put it into words all about, the ineffable?  What is this nag that’s become anger? Pain. Wait, it’s not anger yet, it’s only pain. LOTS of PAIN. Energy without a story is only charged energy. So, who needs a story? A-hah! The one who wants to learn from pain.

At the moment, I don’t know, as we can’t even see anything really clearly. This is the dyke that leads to the island. At moments, I can feel the cold mist sit on my chest and make it difficult for me to breathe. And asthma, and all the years… of being limited. stuck. held back by my own reactions to the environment, my body being ‘unhappy’ while my mind is excited, ready.

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There are some beautiful distractions…those precious distractions, they keep the legs moving, the mind open. All is well…pain isn’t everything…

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So, in reality, in the journey, there’s a bigger factor at play; it’s the interplay, perhaps, of the elements of the journey, including the weather. Weather always has a mood. But, you don’t always have to claim it as your own. Unless, of course, there’s a message there for you. There definitely was a message there for me, about my pain, and about what consistently eludes me.

We felt very fortunate that we didn’t choose to go boating that day. We laughed about how funny (or not) it would be, if we were out on the water and rowing in ONE direction and hoping for a shoreline. Mist has the potential to make two people more confused than one, can’t it? What about when the land is totally open to you, and you have all the choices in the world… except you don’t see the whole road, just the hint of a road?

The veiled terrance
The veiled terrain

I knew I was headed for the Labyrinth, and talking about it was a distraction from finding it. My body knew exactly where it was.  Why? Because it was carrying charged energy.

Passages through trees
Passages through trees

Through the trees, along the shoreline, my excitement grew. I was a child again. I was now borrowing my husband’s broken camera..phone, and completely captivated by capturing the images – feeling the mist on my face – engaging with the water droplets.

Spider-legged tree
Spider-legged tree

By this point, I was no longer held back by my back pain, nor the imagery, I was completely immersed in it. I was called, and I was dancing my way merrily through what felt like was actually a portal into the British Isles. I was back in time again, some other place, I lived many times before and where my husband and I first connected, as we both keep ‘receiving.’

After the spider-leg tree, I took a B-line into the woods and led us both directly to it. I led us to the Labyrinth that had been nearly overgrown, it was difficult to see – but ‘seeing’ was not my knowing. Only flowing was my knowing…

Grown-in Labryrinth
Grown-in Labryrinth
Illuminated Tree
Illuminated Tree

There’s always a special tree. And, this was it for me, directly above the labyrinth, opposite the gate. It stood tall to me, after my ceremonial walk. The walk we’ve walked so many times, but here, for the first time.

~ We are timeless. I speak and I am spoken to ~

Any way the journeyer arrives has less to do with appearances than the way the journeyer has changed inside. How does the journeyer look/feel/experience the change? A new found lightness of being? Or, could the journeyer have gained something, something valuable – a serious, grave truth, or understanding; a mental seed deposited from heaven, perhaps. You know, maybe even a present to unwrap the next time you dream… Perhaps even a key, or the entry point…to all other places.

We’ll have to see, for me, as each journey tells a similar story for the one who has written it. The “higher-Self” is intimately connected to all the ages that one has ever lived. God is everywhere, even in pain, in darkness. It is only with compassion that we listen to all the messages, and discern which ones apply to us, and which ones are not for us.

May you always have what you need… when you journey ❤

24 thoughts on “A Journey Out of the Labryrinth of Anger

  1. I adore this Ka. so very much. Your musings and questions gently provoke and nudge me further along. To where, I don’t know. But that’s Okay since we who are Neptunian are familiar with fog.
    Gorgeous photos too, I agree, every place has at least 1 special tree.

    love and hugs, Linda

    1. Dear Linda,
      I don’t know if you have any idea how happy it makes me that you showed up here and commented, especially when you did. What really makes me glad is that something I experienced – and the way I communicated it – my journey – could be of benefit to you. Yes, Neptunian fog is classic! Thanks for mentioning it, too, because Neptune has definitely been in the mix squaring retrograde Merc and all. Thank you so much for your nice comments about my photos. At present, I’m painting a tree that is in my mind. So far I have the trunk and some roots; but I really just wanted to play with colors and tap into my Neptunian need for art and get the ball rolling again. xoxoxoxo Ka

      1. Hi Ka,
        I reread my comment to see what i had written as I was unsure how my comment affected you so ginormously. Still clueless, but happy that the few words I chose evoked your happy place. I really enjoyed reading about your trip and tried to imagine going there with you. Excited about your painting too 🙂 love ya, Linda

      2. Hi Linda,
        You wrote, “I adore this Ka. so very much. Your musings and questions gently provoke and nudge me further along.” I guess, it just made me really happy, Linda! 🙂 I will be going away again, I have a lot to do beforehand to prepare for 2 weeks worth of tests, and etc. Very much is opening… and,

        I guess sometimes we just don’t know how much something meant to us until someone tells us that they’ve been impacted by us for the best. I just wanted to take the opportunity to tell you in my reply. I’m headed to your blog.
        xo, Ka

  2. Hi Ka,

    This is one to savor and return to. I feel blessed somehow just reading it, like it was a labyrinth of its own, a sacred tour of your heart that reminded me of hidden elements of my own. Like the best writing, the whole of this piece was moving and resonant, but it was also filled with individual lines that could carry the day all on their own.

    I hope your residual pain is dissolved on your journey through this realm. And I have to ask, did you try the ass-kickin’ turkey jerky? My sense is you were nourished directly by the land itself… but just in case… 🙂

    Thank you for the peace you’ve given here-
    (No Radiohead tunes for the road, though?!?)
    Michael

    1. Hi Michael,

      I’m really glad that you liked this piece. I’m especially glad that you were able to ‘experience’ through it. That means a lot to me as a writer, and a journeyer.

      Yeah… I had to photograph the “ass-kickin’ turkey jerky” sign! It provided some entertainment for me on my journey, especially at the onset! You are correct, in some respect, the land certainly provided. A quick pause at the Raintree market in the beginning certainly helped. Call it a “gateway;” it certainly serves as one…

      Glad you received peace, brother.

      Radiohead was not playing, but after I read your comment; an old favorite (I have at least a few) came to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20d-cerbw78

      Peace, Ka

  3. I enjoyed each and every step I took along the road you led me Ka.. Each step showing us how we carry those invisible mists that at times when we allow them to well up, they choke us leaving us gasping for breath.. But if we focus upon the horizon and hold steady our gaze, and trust each foot step, We gain insight ever deeper like the roots of the tree they keep us grounded while we grow ever taller to the light.. Knowing our roots will keep us solid from the storms of life that blow our way..

    Often Anger bubbles beneath the surface, and we can not quite put our finger upon the cause of it.. Like an underground spring it lays beneath the surface until it breaks forth to cascade into a steam that flows out of us to find its own level of being..

    But Anger teaches us for without the underground wells, we would not know the calm of the lakes..
    The mists in life are mere droplets of water gathering, hanging out together waiting for the warmth or the breeze to blow in to disperse them..

    Life is a constant journey, full of Hills and valleys, rivers and mountains, obstacles to overcome and conquer.. And when we have at last negotiated the Labyrinth Ka… after holding our focus on the horizon, not looking and holding onto the past.. We see the Tree of LIFE has always been waiting to be appreciated… It stood there all along… Sometimes we have to walk through our Forests before we see the Tree of our Dreams….

    A most beautiful Post.. one I could walk in for a long time.. I enjoyed my journey with you today Ka..

    Love and Blessings
    Sue ❤

    1. Wow, Sue… your comment really reflected to me that I felt heard. On top of that, there’s that knowledge and experience of your own relationship to the land; and the scenery of life, and your engagingly poetic response. I love how you brought up the tree of life. It reminded me of Sephirotic Tree of the Kabbalists, and the lightning path. Sue, you really inspire me. xoxo Ka

  4. A beautiful adventure , I find in my journey on the well trodden path, occasionally new sights crop up unexpectedly but right at the perfect time to teach me the lessons most needed to hear. So many new things lately as I journey more within to still the voices that overwhelm and try to tell me which way to go….often the wrong paths and I see them for what they are, fear driven thoughts pushing the safe route….craving adventure I turn off the voice to embrace the silence and the rhythm of a heartbeat. Peace and blessings. K

    1. Namaste, sister, thank you. A heart beat is the rhythm I return to also, especially as grad student in TCM, but always so…generally speaking… Are we all tuned so marvelously to our insides and the intangible inner path through the heart. Thank you, Kim
      Again, you continue to amaze me with inspiration. xKa

  5. Thank you. Thank you so much for the gift of your words. I understand the mist as it is not a stranger. I found myself just this afternoon trying to keep my head just above it…like floating in the water and trying to keep your head above the water line. I had a very emotional response reading this and the comments that came after. I think I needed to cry this afternoon and you gave me the most beautiful way to reach that place…to feel cleansed…renewed. Much peace and many blessings to you, Ka ♡♡

    1. Dear Lorrie,
      Thank you for visiting, and leaving me a message. Yesterday, I too, cried… it was a sweet release and I didn’t know from where it was coming, but it was a deep sadness and grief that welled up within me. Afterward, I felt renewed and more connected. Maybe we cried together.
      Much Love,
      ka

      1. I would bet that we did, indeed, cry together! That kind of feeling, when we don’t know where it is coming from or why, are sometimes the sweetest release 🙂 ♡ Many blessings!

      2. You know what, Lorrie?! I’m so glad we have each other. I just returned from my business success workshop: with the model of healing and service. I am “processing,” and still very much learning how to communicate. Please drop by my blog post: https://fiestaestrellas.com/2015/05/29/art-is-happening-in-my-house-a-special-request-fill-this-tree/ I’m trying to return to painting, and keep my motivation, while pursuing my advanced degree… ❤ Also, I'm trying to keep myself free of judgement! and/or use it only wisely 😉 Regardless if you drop by, I will continue to visit your blog, as you are a sweet soul: a pleasure to connect with you! xo Ka Thank you. You are blessitude! Namaste, sister.

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