For the last several years, though I’ve been an astrology student, and an astrologer, for many many years, I’ve attended numerous workshops and have been read by many others who are well-recognized in the field. I have had access to very successful people.
However, it was in my 20s, now I am almost 40, that I really had made the most progress with my astrology (even though I was at it in my early teens and before with the early software discovery). I had read nearly every friend who I would meet and who was in my life, all relationships, and I desperately needed to help myself through life with astrology. I couldn’t believe how with such little knowledge I had at the time, I was able to tap into the depths of people’s lives, and also! I learned about their charts through their examples, their relationships. Learning through reading is the best way to learn!
Back to me about me:
Astrology gave me the insight that no one else could. It was empowering. It was a true necessity in my life as my reflective mandala. At that time in my late teens and early twenties, I didn’t have anyone else read me, I was a lone wolf in the operation, and that gave me the sense and freedom I needed to really build my intuition, and turn to myself for support. I had built an alliance with myself, and quite often, with all of today’s supports, I sometimes worry I have lost it, but it’s really being remade.
There was so much grit to my life of barely getting by, as was my old daily reality. Things are different now, but I still have my daily work.
Last weekend, I became an Access Consciousness Bars Practitioner, and I have been loving it ever since, it’s a superb tool for releasing and limitations and asking open-ended questions, and that’s just still scratching the surface, at best.
Do I still have doubt? Absolutely. Does this stop me anymore? Not really. Do I still have tremendous resistance? Yes, And! It doesn’t matter. I can have my resistance and eat my cake too.
Last night, I had an incredible journey for a client where we did extraction. I’ve been studying for several years as a Shamanic practitioner. I was not in the mood to journey.
Many aspects of my own inner structures have been crumbling away. I didn’t feel “up to it,” but wouldn’t you know, the second I began the journey, her guide opted in, and led the entire way forward! Only for me to realize afterwards in the discussion we had that indeed this was her guide, as verified by information she gave me.
I had recently started reading “Miracles of Mind,” by Russell Targ and Jane Katra, who were part of the “Remote Viewing” governmental researchers into the 70s but also well into the 1990s. I am still in disbelief as I read. I’m not a person who has had a lot of mystical experiences in my life. My friends used to tell me that I helped them, but I always thought I’d take the path of a traditional therapist, though I never did, I opted for anthropology instead. That was awhile ago, and that trail, well, it’s mostly dried up too. Lest it be revived one day for some purpose unknown to me now.
I’m very aware that I do not like manipulators, which is why I took astrology into my own hands at a young age. When I work with people I am so super cautious about telling them what I believe about them (about what Spirit has shown me) and it requires a tremendous nudge from the universe to get me to “move” on a lot of things. I see so many people “telling other people how it is” and the reality is that each person is entitled their own empowerment even if they try to “give it over to you,” you must give it back to them at every moment.
Even to this day, with the zillion mentors and teachers I have in this life, I am still very observant of my own volition and intuition. Sometimes it can be very discouraging when we go and pay for services only to have people give us the “wrong information.” This is why I have shied away from so many people who approach me and I will continue to do so, unless I am certain that they know that “receiving” is something that is in our own hands – even grace makes its way into our corner of the cosmos.
You don’t have to be popular to be deemed authentic, as it appears in our social media world. No matter how many reviews you have and how many people back “your identity” it doesn’t mean that you are going to be the “right” person. I have found myself seeking those quiet people in the corner, those quiet people who seem very contended with their quiet lives, those are the ones who seem to have answers that resonate with me, should I need them to be delivered though another medium as infinite there are of ways for the divine or even the mundane to speak to us, and get the balling rolling, the life blood moving, the eyes open.
Thank you for listening, I mean, really listening.