my virtue is collecting them
all, from where I am. Whatever is in reach.
My virtue is whatever name you
want to call me.
My virtue is showing up.
We’ve got aches and pains
that begin at the roots,
and touch every branch.
We’ve got friends with similar
diagnoses. Each leaf is a name
for what is really just pain.
What is pain but energy,
and I’m sorry but I only
took one creative writing class.
I got an A.
Grades don’t matter, but I got an F in Satire
AND I didn’t do that on purpose just to prove a point.
Do you know what does matter?
Your answer is flesh, made real.
We’ve got crayons in heaven with our
names on them. Do you know how
beautiful you are?
We’ve got superhero bandaids for
every single one of us.
For showing up.
You made it. You arrived. You cared enough
to keep arriving, to keep showing up.
You want to be a helping hand. You are curious,
how will all this go?
What can we do when we work together?
If I build it, will people come?
That’s not a question anymore.
I don’t even know who asked it first?
Who gets credit for creation, but God, and isn’t God,
also us? And you know how many names for God there are?
Shouldn’t there be as many names for God as there are particles of matter?
And what about the particles we haven’t created?
What about the unborn?
Can you sing a song with me? I want them to enter this world, welcomed.
For you, with tears in your eyes
With sadness in your grip
Your betrayal. The grief of being unsupported.
You: who aren’t seen.
You who are lost in the masses.
I rise up. I wake for you.
You, I see in every moment,
A heart beating.
Your life gone…
Few at your funeral. Fewer in the hospital
As you pass… truly your most sacred moment.
For no matter WHO you become in this
Life: Just know that you were someone to me.
You are the reason.
I will cram.
I will lay down before you.
YOU are my sacred chamber, my lost
Vessel, my unborn.
I may never meet you: because
There’s so much work to be done,
And I see you everywhere,
asking for my attention.
I can be a better mother to you
By being a good friend to all.
What is a journey? How much do you plan? For this journey, we just went for it…
On the road…
I can often use some time away to clear my head. It rarely fails to work. Around here, it’s not too difficult to drive away from the masses. That’s how I try to live, on the borders, the edges… so that I can get away when I want.
So what is a journey….?
Could transformation have something to do with it? How about the fact that on a journey, we often don’t realize where it is that we’ll end up! Perhaps we have some known elements: like, “I know where I’ll end up, but I don’t know how I’ll get there; or I know how, but I don’t know where; or, maybe I don’t know just when it is that I’ll arrive, but I’ve got all the other elements!” Rarely do we have all the elements.
On a journey, thoughts are just thoughts, extra things… we can let them go at any spot we choose. Everything is about Direction inmovement.
How about here? Leaving deposits? In the beginning? Wait–> the annoying thoughts aren’t that annoying, just extraneous. I probably didn’t even realize then that leaving them behind here, was an option. But, it wasn’t ready yet. The ‘thing’ I was carrying hadn’t crystalized.
The mist, where we were headed, as seen from a distance
Realizing that we are headed into the mist, the journey is far more interesting; I decide to take ‘my stuff’ with me. The mist sort of drops and collects in the valleys, and it seems to move very quickly, as we were later to discover.
We think we know the destination when we start out – sometimes, as a strategy – we make that destination nebulous, though… like, “I’ll start out West, and go until I reach the ocean.” If our target is blurry, we think maybe we’ll be more likely to “get in the ballpark.” Fortunately, for the journey to be effective, rarely is it necessary to have a specific destination in mind, but we could just pick “something” so we get started.The important thing is that we need to be ‘ripe’ for the journey, like a fruit, we are ready to ‘fall to the earth.’
I’m reminded of a film I watched recently called, “Tracks,” where one woman wants desperately to just be alone, only to realize that ‘alone’ is all she’s ever known and felt, except with animals. Few of us, as with the Alchemist ,will ever realize the dreams within us; especially if we do not grab them, and listen to them. What are they? What is this nagging desire to put it into words all about, the ineffable? What is this nag that’s become anger? Pain. Wait, it’s not anger yet, it’s only pain. LOTS of PAIN. Energy without a story is only charged energy. So, who needs a story? A-hah! The one who wants to learn from pain.
At the moment, I don’t know, as we can’t even see anything really clearly. This is the dyke that leads to the island. At moments, I can feel the cold mist sit on my chest and make it difficult for me to breathe. And asthma, and all the years… of being limited. stuck. held back by my own reactions to the environment, my body being ‘unhappy’ while my mind is excited, ready.
There are some beautiful distractions…those precious distractions, they keep the legs moving, the mind open. All is well…pain isn’t everything…
So, in reality, in the journey, there’s a bigger factor at play; it’s the interplay, perhaps, of the elements of the journey, including the weather. Weather always has a mood. But, you don’t always have to claim it as your own. Unless, of course, there’s a message there for you. There definitely was a message there for me, about my pain, and about what consistently eludes me.
We felt very fortunate that we didn’t choose to go boating that day. We laughed about how funny (or not) it would be, if we were out on the water and rowing in ONE direction and hoping for a shoreline. Mist has the potential to make two people more confused than one, can’t it? What about when the land is totally open to you, and you have all the choices in the world… except you don’t see the whole road, just the hint of a road?
The veiled terrain
I knew I was headed for the Labyrinth, and talking about it was a distraction from finding it. My body knew exactly where it was. Why? Because it was carrying charged energy.
Passages through trees
Through the trees, along the shoreline, my excitement grew. I was a child again. I was now borrowing my husband’s broken camera..phone, and completely captivated by capturing the images – feeling the mist on my face – engaging with the water droplets.
Spider-legged tree
By this point, I was no longer held back by my back pain, nor the imagery, I was completely immersed in it. I was called, and I was dancing my way merrily through what felt like was actually a portal into the British Isles. I was back in time again, some other place, I lived many times before and where my husband and I first connected, as we both keep ‘receiving.’
After the spider-leg tree, I took a B-line into the woods and led us both directly to it. I led us to the Labyrinth that had been nearly overgrown, it was difficult to see – but ‘seeing’ was not my knowing. Only flowing was my knowing…
Grown-in LabryrinthIlluminated Tree
There’s always a special tree. And, this was it for me, directly above the labyrinth, opposite the gate. It stood tall to me, after my ceremonial walk. The walk we’ve walked so many times, but here, for the first time.
~ We are timeless. I speak and I am spoken to ~
Any way the journeyer arrives has less to do with appearances than the way the journeyer has changed inside. How does the journeyer look/feel/experience the change? A new found lightness of being? Or, could the journeyer have gained something, something valuable – a serious, grave truth, or understanding; a mental seed deposited from heaven, perhaps. You know, maybe even a present to unwrap the next time you dream… Perhaps even a key, or the entry point…to all other places.
We’ll have to see, for me, as each journey tells a similar story for the one who has written it. The “higher-Self” is intimately connected to all the ages that one has ever lived. God is everywhere, even in pain, in darkness. It is only with compassion that we listen to all the messages, and discern which ones apply to us, and which ones are not for us.
May you always have what you need… when you journey ❤
So much has been written and unwritten
Opening and closing of books, so much activity
My impressions always change
Each puzzle, un-puzzled
One shares ways to look at things
Noticing arrangements and choices
Every poem and thought is not shared here.
Learning to experiment with the joy – bursting
Opening, infinitely, the little boxes of treasures
Valuing each aspect of the surprise
Everyone gets some
Special detail, inscription, sacred space.
You know,
Orbits are made with magic pens
Used by the invisible Masters.
I was inspired by Deanne to write a 10 line poem on love with 4 words in each line and the word love in each line. If anyone wants to write a poem on love, please leave a link to your poem in the comment’s section 🙂 or leave it on Deanne’s page, and/or both.
We’ve got this upcoming New moon in Aquarius at 29 on the 18th – an anaretic degree, and a momentous New Moon/Solar eclipse on March 20 – in the anaretic degree of Pisces 29 – right on the heels of the final exact square Uranus/Pluto transit series of 7 (having lasted 2012-2015). The nodes of the moon have been referred to as the head and tail of the dragon or serpent. The nodes are mathemetical degrees (and not physical bodies). They are points that mark the Moon’s path where it crosses the ecliptic. This poem was not written for these transits but just happens to coincide with a time of passage.
“The flute of interior time is played whether we hear it or not,
What we mean by “love” is its sound coming in.
When love hits the farthest edge of excess, it reaches a wisdom.
And the fragrance of that knowledge!
It penetrates our thick bodies,
It goes through walls –
Its network of notes has a structure as if a million suns were arranged inside.
This tune has truth in it.
Where else have you heard a sound like this?” ~Kabir
Everything is all about music to me, especially these days. I attended a Woman’s drum circle this past weekend. My re-built drum did not accompany me – because the ‘new’ skin broke off literally 2 days after I got it back. Needless to say, I re-lived its first destruction (at least a little bit). This Mercury retrograde has been, by far, my “most retro-grade” Mercury experience to date.
I’m quite the skeptical astrologer – always have been. I aim to check any self-fulfilling prophecies at the doorway of my experience. I want to be sure that I am present to what life is presenting to me – and not just what I want to create/imagine consciously, or unconsciously. I’m sure that the majority of us keep that spirit in our readings. Easier said then done, and quite difficult to explain –but maintaining openness to the reality unfolding naturally, nevertheless is/and has been, my intention.
One of my favorite anime series highlights this aspect of divination that was ‘taught’ to me by a little character named Hitomi and her counterpart, Von. If you want to read more about it. You can here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vision_of_Escaflowne I will say, though, that I think just reading about it won’t take you on the journey. I think you might have to take the journey with the characters in order to understand what I mean.
The series is an excellent lesson about fear, and what it means to overcome fear. It’s also about relationships and pride. Personally, I did not care much for the movie version of Escaflowne at the time when I saw it many years ago. However, the series, upon some years of reflection – has been a teacher to me. In fact, you have to watch it all up to the end to really understand ‘the investment’ involved in the journey – you need to identify with the charactersin order to be released of them as you let go of the story at its own, natural end.
~Perhaps we need not be too quick to separate from the past; after all we realize that the past has its own natural time for departure. All we can do, is support the great passage, and the message of Love. As the Spirit moves us…
UPDATE: My drum is done! This time it has a little hook where I can keep my wedding rings 🙂 and a peace sign was added. Yay!!
It’s a simple question. The question itself i – when repeated – its own medicine. Who’s responsible for benefiting, perceiving, healing? You.
The truth for me is that I don’t really know in advance whether or not someone can benefit from any of my actions, good intentions, sharing of experiences. From any of my own work on myself. The truth is that I don’t know anything except that I am lucky to be alive and relatively healthy.
Maybe that is all I need to know. Whether in service to ‘self’ or ‘other’ a dualistic mind is still in the trappings of duality. However, if there is no ‘me’ and no ‘you,’ that is perhaps a possible definition of an inefficient brain. Discretion has a purpose, but who’s is worth relying on, other than your own? Ask.
We need to make constructions, make assumptions, think and have reason or else we might lose purpose, direction, and/or develop an inability to operate in the world. But to think and reason too much, gives us this false sense of power. Instead just ask, what is the magic working through us all? (Usually, there’s no definitive answer)
Sometimes lightness of being comes from the must curious places. Sometimes a zen koan can silence your mind instead of eliciting an endless response of ricochet. Sometimes “call and response” signatures can bring forth the most beautiful music.
That’s where I am now. I don’t ask you to benefit from reading this. I write it for me. My drum is nearly ready for the circle.
Aloha.
Please these videos remind me of my time spent in Africa, and my time spent in Pennsylvania…(either drumming, or my one and only ethnomusicology class) and probably further back.
Thanks to youtube: I found this: my favorite from my enthomusicology class back in early 2000ish. This CD was stolen with a couple of precious sterling silver rings when an apartment I had was broken into (twice!) back in Pittsburgh. You know… I take this, as God’s return of love to me… joy, and the happiness of life! You will be healed!
P.S. So far I am keeping my original ‘typos,’ in some cases, they were appropriately wrong.
“Life has it’s own rhythm and you cannot impose your own structure upon it—you have to listen to what it tells you… It’s not earth that you move with a tractor—life is not like that. Life is more like earth that you learn about and plant seeds in.” —Jeff Buckley (inspired by a FB post_ and my notes)
Heart Location:
Whoever you are
who makes me tick…
In the mediastinum of the thoracic cavity
2/3 left of center
whatever nature magically
attunes me
Hangs like a frame in the center of your Skeleton House. The top Center.
Base of Heart is Above
And its Apex Below
Like an inverted triangle is the female
Birthing downward
And making more Earth.
❤
You can view some of Abby’s Art @ https://www.facebook.com/Finchfight
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