In this life,
we might be terrified.

we might feel alone,
though we are not.

we must work every day
to give ourselves enough space,

to be who we are. however we are,

“dark” or “light” or the huge gamut spanning between

even if not one single person
feels that what we offer is valuable,
important, or worthy.

we are worthy. this is inherent.

each and every one of us,
and we don’t need any proof of our
worthiness.

this is not a poem,
but a message.

do not give up.
you are making a contribution,

every. day.

Two of my favorite “C” concepts are creativity and clarity; and yet, I haven’t found these aspects of language and expression to always be in cahoots.

I want them to be.

Often it seems that creativity is a word applied when someone comes up with something interesting and “novel” but isn’t quite “ready” for others to be exposed to yet. “It’s creative” can be similar to saying, “it’s confusing.”

Somehow it appears that creativity has to be vetted by clarity. All the while, however, clarity does not need to be “truth,” but it needs to be, perhaps, “digestible,” “recognizable” and “receivable” to others. Some may, in my opinion, confound clarity with truth.

How can creativity be more clarifying? Well, it certainly works with analogies. Analogies help people recognize and “experience” information in a format that is receivable.

Creativity can be frustrating, because it’s often “divinely” inspired; yet, that doesn’t mean that others will receive it, so there’s an interpretation or conversion period, the editing process that makes the creativity more “clear,” readable.

Oftentimes I enjoy the original and raw form of art, but this is rarely popular. Most folks have to have an art education to “believe” that they understand art or context. It’s confusing to me because I grew up with art and contemplating art, and then received “some” education in both art-making and interpreting, and memorizing and writing about art.

But this isn’t art, to me.

To me, and maybe you?, Art is raw, art is unformed-becoming-formed. Art involves risk.

Art is process and not product.

And yet. Societally, we reinforce “polishing” and “perfecting” creativity as though it is more true, when maybe it is clearer. I do not see clarity as being equal with truth.

What are your thoughts?

For the last several years, though I’ve been an astrology student, and an astrologer, for many many years, I’ve attended numerous workshops and have been read by many others who are well-recognized in the field. I have had access to very successful people.

However, it was in my 20s, now I am almost 40, that I really had made the most progress with my astrology (even though I was at it in my early teens and before with the early software discovery). I had read nearly every friend who I would meet and who was in my life, all relationships, and I desperately needed to help myself through life with astrology. I couldn’t believe how with such little knowledge I had at the time, I was able to tap into the depths of people’s lives, and also! I learned about their charts through their examples, their relationships. Learning through reading is the best way to learn!

Back to me about me:

Astrology gave me the insight that no one else could. It was empowering. It was a true necessity in my life as my reflective mandala. At that time in my late teens and early twenties, I didn’t have anyone else read me, I was a lone wolf in the operation, and that gave me the sense and freedom I needed to really build my intuition, and turn to myself for support. I had built an alliance with myself, and quite often, with all of today’s supports, I sometimes worry I have lost it, but it’s really being remade.

There was so much grit to my life of barely getting by, as was my old daily reality. Things are different now, but I still have my daily work.

Last weekend, I became an Access Consciousness Bars Practitioner, and I have been loving it ever since, it’s a superb tool for releasing and limitations and asking open-ended questions, and that’s just still scratching the surface, at best.

Do I still have doubt? Absolutely. Does this stop me anymore? Not really. Do I still have tremendous resistance? Yes, And! It doesn’t matter. I can have my resistance and eat my cake too.

Last night, I had an incredible journey for a client where we did extraction. I’ve been studying for several years as a Shamanic practitioner. I was not in the mood to journey.

Many aspects of my own inner structures have been crumbling away. I didn’t feel “up to it,” but wouldn’t you know, the second I began the journey, her guide opted in, and led the entire way forward! Only for me to realize afterwards in the discussion we had that indeed this was her guide, as verified by information she gave me.

I had recently started reading “Miracles of Mind,” by Russell Targ and Jane Katra, who were part of the “Remote Viewing” governmental researchers into the 70s but also well into the 1990s. I am still in disbelief as I read. I’m not a person who has had a lot of mystical experiences in my life. My friends used to tell me that I helped them, but I always thought I’d take the path of a traditional therapist, though I never did, I opted for anthropology instead. That was awhile ago, and that trail, well, it’s mostly dried up too. Lest it be revived one day for some purpose unknown to me now.

I’m very aware that I do not like manipulators, which is why I took astrology into my own hands at a young age. When I work with people I am so super cautious about telling them what I believe about them (about what Spirit has shown me) and it requires a tremendous nudge from the universe to get me to “move” on a lot of things. I see so many people “telling other people how it is” and the reality is that each person is entitled their own empowerment even if they try to “give it over to you,” you must give it back to them at every moment.

Even to this day, with the zillion mentors and teachers I have in this life, I am still very observant of my own volition and intuition. Sometimes it can be very discouraging when we go and pay for services only to have people give us the “wrong information.” This is why I have shied away from so many people who approach me and I will continue to do so, unless I am certain that they know that “receiving” is something that is in our own hands – even grace makes its way into our corner of the cosmos.

You don’t have to be popular to be deemed authentic, as it appears in our social media world. No matter how many reviews you have and how many people back “your identity” it doesn’t mean that you are going to be the “right” person. I have found myself seeking those quiet people in the corner, those quiet people who seem very contended with their quiet lives, those are the ones who seem to have answers that resonate with me, should I need them to be delivered though another medium as infinite there are of ways for the divine or even the mundane to speak to us, and get the balling rolling, the life blood moving, the eyes open.

Thank you for listening, I mean, really listening.

Ever wanted your freedom so much
that you can remember the taste of it
on your tongue,
you can remember how wide-open
your day began, when you opened your eyes?

and everything was possible in the moment
you winked your eyes open?

What if everything that you choose keeps
bringing you to more and more choices which are surprisingly showing you your developing ideal, even before you’ve formed it in your mind?

and as you create your world, your vision
becomes so fluid and full of potential that you can’t hold anything other than
your best dreams in your mind’s eye?

There’s simply only space for what is possible.

And, what if anything is possible?
those sparks you see forming in the corner of your eye is your next inspiration, on a platter, just saying “choose me,” “choose you,” “choose all of you.”

Astrology for fun:
Sun and Uranus conjoined in Taurus
Chiron and Venus (& Mercury) in Aries conjoined,
Moon and Rx Jupiter cojoined in Sagittarius
interpret whatever you like as you’d like,
and realize you can choose at any time to “let go” and “choose” again.
your best choice is always arising

I see abundance in this one flower
who encourages me to sit curbside
and take a moment under the sun
while, She, the Sun, spreads over my shoulders and shows me how i can interpret her Great mother’s whispers.

when goddess and i found one another,
there was no other allegiance to return to. She showed me how her nature is so natural my own, and she made me into her own image, as she knelt beside me, feeling everything I felt through me. i became transparent.

A “bursting” new moon 🌚 has left me in wordless contemplation, though I emit words as thought 💭 energy construct puffs, and watch them disintegrate mostly into the conversations I am having, joining, becoming, blooming, flowing into the air in wafts, and genetic drifty tufts, particles of formation, mixing, dissolving, releasing, beginning, reintegration…

And the individual blooms come and and go, while the whole season holds the space for the canopy of evolution, to have another ride of time.

The door is old and has been opened and closed so many times… and it seems a new light is cast upon in it, here; and in its framing are more possible openings, slots, divisions, processes, movements…reinvented hinges.

Fiestaestrellas is a ‘moment’ of celebration that goes on all the time, a reconsideration for how a flower burst is like a firework, and the spark of inspiration upon time can incite a groove upon a record (player), to make a sound so appealing that old devices are new and rediscovered, re-made. abundant awareness is full-bodied, symphonic and built of solid, undifferentiated, integrated silence.

Photography and prose rights Ka Malana 2019