I told Susan I could commit to “right now,” on day 1 of 40 days of abundance journey. You can follow the journey here. I’m curious if I will show up for more.

What you see written here is the guiding thought Susan provides at the link above, a daily guiding thought for 40 days. What is underneath that (thinking in layer) is my reflection on the guiding thought, which led me to want to express through these paints that I am experimenting with.

They are a new medium for me and I wanted to give them a brief “test drive.” I don’t have the proper paper, but this was just an exercise to loosen up and introduce myself to the medium.

You might remember from my previous posts:

Here and here where I work with 5 minutes at a time: art and meditation.

Susan’s dedication and commitment (Day 1, today) asked us what we could commit to, and I did approx 5 min of expressing and reflecting from the guiding principle. My desire was to bring some color to my page in a way that didn’t take me too much time and was also part of a deeper process: All is Good.

You might recall that I talk about not having a lot of time, that’s remains the same, and even less time with my little kiddo.

Why the Toucan? I’ve been working diligently on my apprenticeship with my Medicine Woman 8th ray magic: Rite of the 12 celestial regents. See this about the program, with its goal of “purpose good.” This toucan appeared to me as one of the guides I am working closely with for the month based closely on the moon’s phases. For some of my readers might recall that I am a shamanic practitioner having studied for over 5 years in an official way, with this teacher, and many many others, before that I was “self-taught” and practiced independently.

With Susan’s guided thoughts in the Journey of Abundance, there’s really no distinctions being drawn about teaching or self-teaching. There’s this inner commitment and the path of the true self, the divine one of all. I’m fortunate to have so much support in my art and spiritual pursuits. I have spent so much of my life on some type of “journey” in a spiritual way. Next week I will be 40 years old.

I can thank Janet from here, for her inspiration during her virtual trip to Wales. See the link to join the trip! Because of Janet, I did a couple of sketches of my daughter (toddler) a couple of weeks ago and keep slowly doing little bits of art here and there when I can carve out the time. She also inspired to get the type of supplies that I am now experimenting with here in this photo: gouache and tombow pens. Yes! This is exactly what I need to squeeze into my days!

~ 💗~

My beloved grandmother passed away last week. I’ve been grieving and celebrating her presence in my life. We had tough months where family couldn’t visit her due to Covid lockdown at nursing homes for 3 months. She’s lives across the country from me. She had dementia and was 99 years old. She survived pelvic and femur surgery last year in 2019 after a fall, but she and her sincere strength–so blessed as she is–was ready to move on. Family was able to visit hospice at the end, and it was a long process. I was able to see her on FaceTime and project my voice so she could hear me, though she was unable to talk in her final weeks.

A big artistic inspiration is her family homeland in Italy, where she grew up, and where I visited for the first time in 2016. I hope whenever I have time I can go back and use those pictures as “jumping off points” for future artwork. Also, I was so in love with the village of Crickadoon in Janet’s Wale’s trip, I want to circle back there and take up my supplies and use those for inspiration. For now I have spent all day catching up on a myriad of other things that I am far behind on. Already this post is well beyond the 5 mins I was trying to keep to minimum.

I am grateful to have been able to do shamanic journeying for my grandmother, and to be part of her process, for responding to her needs and listening in to her requests at a time when she couldn’t talk. Also grateful for being such a close companion to her as a child, which she remarked about continuously throughout the years. “She was good company,” referring to me.

May she Rest In Peace. So loved.

And, you can still keep an open mind. I see in many places that there is an attack on fear. People fear fear. While fear can lead to poor decisions and bad calculations, it can also bring necessary caution.

We live during very challenging times. If adaptation is hard for you, that is okay. Businesses and institutions are pushing to survive. We are all trying to survive, to feed our families, to protect our families. We are all trying to make “Hope” even when we don’t feel it ourselves. This if how we survive when we don’t know when the relief will come, or how.

It’s okay to be afraid. Being aware of your vulnerability doesn’t make you a coward; it doesn’t make you weak; and it doesn’t make you a bad person if you find it hard to be positive. We are living during difficult times. Difficulty requires love and compassion. It requires patience, and often we may not have any extra.

These times are transforming us in ways we don’t even know. As a planet we are facing challenges we have not experienced for a long time. It’s okay to be afraid, to not know, to not be turning every moment into its silver lining.

It’s okay to be afraid.

The sound of coffee cups

And breakfast plates clinking

The birds in the morning

The hawk from yesterday

She is always by my side, these days,

it seems,

My aumakua 💗

Walk with me shadow,

in the morning

light; my other companion,

as we listen to the piercing cry

of my soaring hawk

companion,

and the morning doves with flapping wings

I and you are not alone in this hot world

with Covid threatening

The news is deafening

but my morning walk is peaceful, bright, serene

There are ways to build worlds within worlds

to live inside eggs within eggs

creating safe spaces in these smaller circles

The rabbit hops across the street with grass in her mouth.

filling up with sun and love

When pausing a thought,

The dove flies away,

you know the sound

The bees buzz swelling from pine trees…

that kind of abundance.

***poems while walking***

I quickly left the house without any makeup on. I rarely wear it anyways these days, but I still think makeup is fun.

This morning I really wanted to get a peaceful walk in. We are having one of those perfect gray days where it’s nice and cool.

Leaving my Invisalign in the house and not having them on my teeth is a “no no” but my teeth have been shifting and straightening just fine when I do this. Early on I very closely adhered to having them in as close to 24/7, but today having this walk and writing a blog at the same time.

Normally I wouldn’t share a photo of myself, much less would I share a photo of myself like this, but I’m pretty sure that happiness is good enough for me. See the above picture is from the stone I saw immediately after leaving my house, giving me a most lovely message.

My 40th birthday is coming up soon, and I’m coming to terms with it, being reflective, purposeful, inspired.

‘Age’ messages have been coming up all over the place. I was listening to podcast with face reader Lillian Bridges and this one caught my eye. I want to do this earlier, I thought.

Then I saw this one above, and I am thinking of ways to be adventurous includes sharing this picture of me on my blog. Why not?

I hope, you, my readers are well. I look forward to “seeing” you again, soon! I’m going to enjoy my walk now…. just wanted to share 💗

“Perfectionism is a virus, widespread in Western culture, which keeps us running on the treadmill of never-enoughness.”

Took-pa Turner, from Belonging: Remembering ourselves home.

I’ve been giving my blog a rest. Like when the digestive system has been through so many new tastes and flavors, and maybe it has been “detoxing” from the outside world. The digestive system is the entry way to the external world, much like the lungs and the skin, as is my blog. It’s important to narrow these windows so that one’s insides are cast in far more light. It’s called focus, and it’s a beautiful and underestimated ability.

My blog is like skin, facing the outside world, but it needs hydration from me. It’s no longer about the things it was about before, and still, it is. It’s being exfoliated. It’s wonderful, and it happens, in part, with this resting process. Meanwhile a new layer of skin is prepared, effortlessly.

Freshness and inspiration has been flowing through (“new blood”) in the brief moments I get away from being on Zoom for necessary work, and from parenting and also trying to maintain my home, study, collaborate, and while still giving inner air to my dreams. The dreams that are born in the decisions I make today. The work I do is still based on my decisions I made ~4-5 years ago.

During lockdown, I’ve been less bothered by the rules around me and more grateful for the personal decisions and all the power I have over my every day life.

There have been so many stressful times. There have been lots of toss-and-turn nights, but in the end, or at the pause, there’s tremendous inner peace. There’s also excitement and potential everywhere I look. We live in rapidly changing times; innovation is the necessity of the day, and we already know thanks to Plato, “Necessity is the Mother of Invention.” So, who is the Mother of the Mother of Invention? Silence? The pause? Yes, the pregnant pause!

I’ve been watching my daughter grow and my laceration wound on my hand heal. I could easily have put all my attention into this and not done the 500 million other things I’m doing (including other body processes). But consider this: my heart did not stop beating because my hand was cut. My heart and all my body processes, in part, did their main jobs, which contributed to the good of my healing my laceration wound. Win-win for the whole body.

Sure I had to adapt a lot, but mostly that was in my innovation for dressing and caring for my wound while using my hand to care for my wiggly child.

How can anyone even talk about perfection in all this? The concept of perfection is a bit of a black hole. It sucks up the available energy by condensing it, focusing it. I think perfection is awesome, but it’s useless to fret over in organic inter-connected systems. I’ve been listening to podcasts about non-linear systems, but I haven’t delved into the modeling myself. The fact that it is possible to model the non-linear is pretty amazing to me!

We are already living in perfection. The rest of what we do, when we have the opportunity, when we aren’t immediately faced with maintaining our skin and our respiration, is our choice. Choice and perfection don’t exist in the same universe, but they also do and they have everything to do with each other. Once one chooses, one creates. Once one creates, one improves, and we never want that to stop.

We don’t want life to stop, because the animation, movement, Is the perfection.

The stars have aligned,
in a way,
that shows me-
back into the past
and into the present…

all those carrots i was chasing

were different from the one i’m walking in-step with now,

because all those other carrots,

🥕they are already in the bag.

i can see them now, the veil removed,
a re-newed sense of freedom.

those other carrots were old versions of me.

While farmer’s might be thinking this moon is a strawberry,

for me it’s the hardy, sweet root of purpose, restored.

afterwards, i added some hearts (for motherhood) and a small feather that was in my collection. I’m not sure where I’m going with it, but it feels so good to let my right hand lead the way in small progressive circles.

Thanks to Janet, from her blog and my virtual 5 min travels there, I soaked up the inspiration to give myself another 5 min to do a quick sketch. It’s inspired by the Shaman divination card I pulled for this 5 min drawing. What happens if you live in 5 min increments?

Also, I had more time, and I spent it on a call with the poet David Whyte. I’m keeping my inspiration alive in the shadows of others. This has been a long time strategy. I hope to offer support as I have received it. I hope my blog post inspires you to consider how meditatively or intentionally you can live in 5 minutes. I hope one day my work will achieve a worthiness for the attention it needs.

I’m not in the business of putting out polished work right now, but one day I would certainly like to be able to do that. In the meantime, I’m keeping that pilot light lit 🔥

I’ll be visiting everyone in those same 5 min increments, as I don’t have a lot of “free” time, even with the world-wide lockdowns. I just have all the stuff I’ve been procrastinating, waiting for me to give it my 5 minutes. So much of my time is given freely, as is yours….

Thank you 🙏🏽

Hello 👋! I hope everyone is staying healthy and or moving in that direction. I know it’s a hard time for all of us.

I recorded a 5 minute meditation for you. It’s at this link:

https://fiestaestrellas.com/2015/03/18/mindfulness-meditation-track-5-minutes/

I wanted to offer what I can to help bring some grounding and centering into your day with this recording. I’m feeling inspired today to do more meditations in the future but not sure when I will get to them. It’s something I would enjoy doing, just not sure about some logistics.

Would you be interested in listening? Would this be helpful for you at this time?

Looking forward to connecting again,

Love, Ka

Everything around me slowed down,

But I had not.

I could tell because I wasn’t absorbing

The sounds and smells and textures

Of the day.

I know because, on some level,

There’s a part of me who has been it all

And done it all, before.

I know there’s truly no hurrying to go anywhere,

Because there’s no where to go.

There’s still this animal part of me

That’s itching to be in a hurry

That’s anxious about tomorrow.

I can see it all. I can accept this part of me,

And I don’t even have to worry about it.

Beautiful awareness.

Pictures Herbarium, 2011, Gunilla Lagerhem Ullberg (b 1955), shown at the Slow Art Exhibit in Stockholm 2012.

How much more slowly can I go? I am teasing myself with this idea, out of curiosity. It’s too tempting to speed ahead, but now is the perfect time to breathe deep, take a moment longer reading. Take a moment for myself.

Please take a look at this, per Demetra George and Brenda Wilson, mainly Brenda Wilson’s observation and recording of the Wuhan asteroid discovered in 1980. Here are the well-orchestrated and outlined moments of the Wuhan asteroid with its plays against the greatly discussed Saturn/Pluto conjunction, the Mars/Jupiter square and the markets fall.

In this analysis, the Sibley chart is used for the U.S., the timeline is further outlined with Wuhan’s retrograde point at the end of May.

This is an analysis that astrologer’s do not want to miss! We are talking about and leading up to the Saturn/Pluto conjunction at 0 degree Aquarius ♒️ which gives way to eventually 2023-2024 Pluto ingress into Aquarius. You can’t make this stuff up!!

https://demetra-george.com/blog/asteroid-wuhan/?fbclid=IwAR2gamc-ef1LG-I2L-YawOsqOkHc-NQPEQRu4k5LqlOMjp9WIq2Rquz5kls

In brief, the asteroid Wuhan (discovered in 1980 at the Purple Mountain Observatory) entered into Capricorn in early January shortly before the Saturn Pluto conjunction. The average rate of speed for asteroids is about 1 degree every four days. Since then, it has been progressively passing over the South Node, Jupiter, Mars, Pluto and Saturn. It enters Aquarius mid-April, but by the end of May turns retrograde around 4 Aquarius and passes back over Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter. It turns direct at the end of August, once again contacting Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn until mid-November when it enters Aquarius for about the next four months. There it will prepare the way for the historic Jupiter Saturn conjunction near Winter Solstice.

I picked this phrase as my title because it can be read in two different ways: One is mulling it over and trying to understand it all, and the second is relinquishing everything — surrendering “it all” to whatever happens.

Being in the place of the latter, I found some comfort in Matt Kahn’s video:

It’s been a while now since I haven’t been writing or sharing my own astrological interpretations. This aspect of my life has gone quiet for reasons of me being flooded out, I think, by so many of them out there. I think I need now to find “my own thing” again. I’m not sure what that is, but I lost my voice in this. It makes me kind of sad because it’s why I built this blog. On the other hand, I’m willing to go with the flow and accept that maybe it’s just not for me right now, and that’s okay.

That said, I enjoy the freshness of Wondergirl. I’m calling her that instead of her pedestrian name because why else would she choose that moniker? It’s fabulous. I have been occasionally catching her monthly videos and watching her grow and grow on YouTube and now her own special paid subscribers, etc. I think her take on this full moon is pretty good. Maybe later I will dig up some of my old Virgo blog posts and repost it just for the heck of it. It’s nice to know that no one is relying on me to keep the output.