We are managing through the heat wave but the internet is down. My cellular service is providing this little bit of connection. I have really, truly missed WordPress in the last several months while I was less present and more in my “local” life and goings ons… The community we’ve created is so beautiful. I love how we are all living our own lives, working on our own art, writing, hobbies, freedom and voice. Thank you for being here! 😃
There are so many of you who I miss, who have not been writing. You are never forgotten.
Today I found a dead mud dauber wasp in my office. I know this is symbol of ” productivity, courage, fertility, taking control, and new beginnings.”1 It’s likely a sign of newer energy for my office and for the people who I work with professionally. Here is a picture of what the mud dauber looks like. What’s most impressive about it is its tiny little stringed waist. They are mostly harmless, and like to eat black widows, which we also do have here geographically. Mud daubers are very industrious.
Mud Dauber Wasp2Picture from ingeniovirtual
Their homes look like little marvelous clay patterned circle clusters. They feel energetically gentle in nature in comparison to their other wasp cousins. They fly rather slowly. I have enjoyed learning about the mud dauber from several weeks ago when one tried to set up shop in our peephole box. Our house is very old and it has an antique box–no wonder the dauber was attracted to the shiny brass container.
It looks like this:
It’s apparently Victorian– elegant and beautiful, ornate. That particular mud dauber was unsuccessful in building a nest in our peephole box.
There’s another metaphor at work here. I just completed a 3 day intensive (all day) cadaver dissection lab. I will complete my doctorate in acupuncture in December. I have done continuing education credits even before I completed my Masters and was licensed. However, this past weekend, in more ways than one, I was connecting with an ancient practice, sitting on the shoulders of the greats as I walked the path that these others have walked. As I endured the challenges of such work with focus and attention and, most importantly, ethics and respect. I am not an anatomist, but I do follow some of them. The picture below connects to Andreas Vesalius who created many anatomy books. For more information about his work see here: https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/features/andreas-vesalius-1514-1564-and-the-books-that-made-the-father-of-anatomy
From Science to Art and then Back again
The poetry of my life is in my daily experiences. Right now, it is in the form of mud. My poetry is filled with the CLAY of life, but it is still in my heart and not in the written word. Writing feels forced right now, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m doing it anyways. So, it’s not all flow-y but it’s here. I’ll take it!
Although I do practice an ancient medicine. It is very much alive and living. It’s constantly being de-codified and better understood by the leaders and influencers in my field. And as my 42 birthday approaches this weekend, it occurs to me: I’m so glad that I was not born during a medieval time. Even better, I am so glad that I did not GIVE BIRTH in such a medieval time. What’s even better, is that I get to recover some lost knowledge and salvage the scrap-aways and “scraps” of medical history. There I find brass and gold and so many useful things! (more metaphors).
By reclaiming the lost arts and sciences we are better understanding our current era’s medicine and framework. The goal is to work outside of the industry of pharmaceutical society, but also with it. We have to work with what is already here. There are so many possibilities when true health and healing is the endeavor–when enlightenment is the “goal.” I value all the wisdom that came before me. As I skim my 40s, still at the first level, I know my own life is industrious and still filled with fertility, creativity, art and science. I know that I am living the life of my dreams, made of clay, and building with my hands in the clay. The fruits of the labor are still years away, but I can taste many of them now. Birthdays are often about reflection. But they don’t have to be. This one will mostly just be about enjoyment, and as my 3 year old exclaims “What the heck?” She learned it from her friend at preschool with her Brooklyn accent (that’s how I know, plus she said so). “What the heck” is my mantra for “whatever arises.”
Medieval Childbirth3
Happy Birthday to me in the modern era, as a modern woman with a growing list of skills, interests, and talents. Happy Birthday to me as a mother and a wife and a simple doctor. None of what I wrote here is to be construed as medical advice. I don’t use my name on my blog. This blog is only for entertainment purposes. Am I entertaining you yet?
The incredible changes to my life since last year have been so positive; it is wonderfully baffling.
Last year I was struggling with depression because of what felt like a never-ending severe back pain problem. What I did was I put so much energy, effort and investment into my wellness, and it worked! Where I used to have to lay in bed hours a day for physical pain, I’m now able to function normally, since about November of last year. This has been my longest period of living ‘normally’ again since 2012.
I prayed, worked on myself, did so many therapies like targeted spinal decompression and PRP including additional shamanic work. This was all in addition to the chiropractic and the acupuncture, exercises, stretching and diet changes. It all helped, but now I can even add very wonderful 1 hr cardio great sweating workouts twice a week in addition to my weekly martial arts training with my trainer. On the other days I still make time for working out and meditating.
Now my entire life as a whole is so fulfilling and well rounded. This December I will be graduating with my doctorate degree in Acupuncture. Right now with my Master’s degree and license, I work on athletes at the nearby university. I work with children at the nearby hospital, and I have a private practice with my own office.
This afternoon, I took a good nap, and when I awoke I started reflecting on the work I’ve been doing, the healing, and also the many challenges I have overcome. We live in a new house that I am in love with,too. My energy has expanded so much! What I also do see is that my healing is going to keep going deeper. I am able to work with people so beautifully. I can see how much I help them, and the feedback I get often astonishes me. This is incredibly motivating and rewarding.
At this point in my life, I wonder: what else is possible?! I’ve run out of particular wishes or desires. I have all that I need. I am beyond grateful for this life I get to live, and for being able to get out of that hole I was in while processing all that I needed to process. Spiritual growth is a real thing. These bodies we inhabit can help us transcend the body. Once again, this feels like the beginning of a new chapter in my life—into the depth of my core. The power I am generating from my center is a gift that I am motivated to share with others as I continue to expand. My birthday is coming around again in August, and I face it with this deep peace, pleasure, and knowingness. I am settled. I am dynamic, and I am ready for more.
We have family visiting this week, and next month as well. It will be another dynamic time. The excitement and drive I feel to be an ever-increasing positive influence is real.
I know I haven’t been on the blog much. I miss so many of you. But, I do know that this is just a season, and I’m always here. Blogging is not temporary. I love you all so much to connect to you all is such a gift. When I reached out last year, I received so much grace and love from you. You all really helped me get through that challenging time. I want us to stay in touch with each other, here and on your blogs, and continue to be in each others’ lives. Thank you for reading! 💗
You can focus on political division and human perspective, ideology and personality, or you can focus on the fact that all human experience on the planet is facing a changing, mutating virus (and many of them) which is causing society to adapt.
Regardless of what you think policies ought to be, Covid is changing our daily lives. People out sick, understaffing, and tremendous change is the new storyboard. Shamanically, we are shedding our skins and purging a great deal. We are developing more deeply as a human race. I don’t use the term evolve because it’s a scientific term and it means something differently than the way people colloquially mean it. I have a lot of respect for the scientific process. Science is a verb.
This virus has infected nearly everyone or at some point will; we will overcome it. I do believe we should protect our most vulnerable. I also believe that we can move forward, not focusing on talking heads, but focusing on the fact that a biological mechanism is affecting all of us either directly or indirectly.
I absolutely believe that “Covid” is bringing us together, even thought it might not seem like it.
*I’m picturing myself sailing on a ship, being deeply in tune with the ocean, and yielding to the power of the storm while the storm inside me grows to match the might of that storm outside of me. I am ready to build this new way of being in the world. I am ready to see the new ways forward. I am ready to be gentle and yielding in the truth of how mighty we all are. 💖 We can overcome our difficulties. I want to be on that path! I am on that path! I will keep going. Growth dreams, to become more than I am now, I am ready.
I then sifted through the debris and emptied the sand from my hands, made up of
messages that, when undelivered,
had turned to dust.
With my warm dry hands I gently held my
throat and let my hands speak “you may not know how to voice
but I give you time. I give you space.
Your voice matters. Never give up. Let anyone try to silence you, but you will never again do it to yourself.”
*is anyone else having trouble with the editor? I did a copy and paste of my poem and the formatting would not fill one solid block. I’m not being too picky about format right now, because it’s not convenient to be. It expresses enough on its own.
Fiesta Estrellas 
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